INGO: Joke of the day page

[jamil]

Is there an executive summary? I mean, if it's a good joke, I like good jokes. I just don't want to invest the time though.

 

[Bigtanker]

There is a lever the ends all humanity. There is also a snake named Nate that watches the lever. Out of control RV is headed for both of them. Either hit the lever and destroy everyone or run over an old but friendly snake that wants to die anyway.

Better Nate than Lever.

 

[AngryRooster]

There is a lever the ends all humanity. There is also a snake named Nate that watches the lever. Out of control RV is headed for both of them. Either hit the lever and destroy everyone or run over an old but friendly snake that wants to die anyway.

Better Nate than Lever.

It's the journey, not the destination.

 

[actaeon277]

Not in that case.
That was a "Bridge too Far"

 

[EPeter213]

Reminds me of the Rice Krispie Joke... "Once upon a time in BattleCreek Michigan..."

 

[Sigblitz]

Reported.

 

[CPT Nervous]

I, for one, appreciate a long lead up to a pun.

I read it, Madcock, and I like it.

 

[AngryRooster]

I, for one, appreciate a long lead up to a pun.

I read it, Madcock, and I like it.

Thank you. One good thing about a joke like that, when you spend that much time & energy to go through the whole thing you never forget it.

 

[CPT Nervous]

Thank you. One good thing about a joke like that, when you spend that much time & energy to go through the whole thing you never forget it.

I appreciate a good long lead up, and I really enjoy puns. Actually, years ago, I submitted several puns to the local newspaper for a contest they were having. I ended up sending in ten of the best jokes I could come up with, hoping that one of them would win the prize, but sadly, no pun in ten did.

 

[AngryRooster]

 

[daddyusmaximus]

Today is National Women's Day





It was supposed to be yesterday,
but it took them too long to get ready.

 

[eric001]

Today is National Women's Day

It was supposed to be yesterday,
but it took them too long to get ready.

SOOOOO... Make our own sammich day. Got it.

 

[dk598]

Why couldn't the toilet paper roll cross the road???

Because it was stuck in a crack...

 

[sharkey]

An attorney arrived home late, after a very tough day trying to get a stay of execution. His last minute plea for clemency to the governor had failed and he was feeling worn out and depressed.


As soon as he walked through the door at home, his wife started on him about, ‘What time of night to be getting home is this? Where have you been? Dinner is cold and I’m not reheating it’. And on and on and on.


Too shattered to play his usual role in this familiar ritual, he poured himself a shot of whiskey and headed off for a long hot soak in the bathtub, pursued by the predictable sarcastic remarks as he dragged himself up the stairs.


While he was in the bath, the phone rang. The wife answered and was told that her husband’s client, James Wright, had been granted a stay of execution after all. Wright would not be hanged tonight.


Finally realizing what a terrible day he must have had, she decided to go upstairs and give him the good news.


As she opened the bathroom door, she was greeted by the sight of her husband, bent over naked, drying his legs and feet.


‘They’re not hanging Wright tonight,’ she said.


He whirled around and screamed, ‘ GOOD GRIEF- WOMAN, DON’T YOU EVER STOP?’

 

[ArcadiaGP]

Bill Cosby and Cardi B walk into a bar.








I forget the rest.

 

[Ballstater98]

What do vegetarian zombies eat?



Graaaaaaaaaains

 

[daddyusmaximus]

I could never go on a diet...



It would be like fat shaming yourself.

 

[actaeon277]

 

[actaeon277]

 

[Mark 1911]

[video=youtube;1mFf5B5qEX4]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1mFf5B5qEX4[/video]