I did it by myself.

[Mr. Habib]

+1 for taking the initiative to try this yourself. My wife would have just called and yelled at me because it wouldn't start. After all it's mechanical and I'm male and nearby. If it doesn't work it must be my fault. She would never attempt to charge her own battery.

It's surprising how many drivers, men and women, can't handle a simple problem like this. I had a situation like this recently. My wife and I were both away from home and our middle daughter called to tell us that she had a flat tire and had to take her younger sister to an appointment. There is a repair shop about a mile away from our house, so she just needed to air up the tire and drive there. She couldn't comprehend how to use to air compressor over the phone and had no idea even where her spare even was or how to access it; she drives a pick up. In the midst of all of the phone drama I'm thinking to myself, she has an air compressor, a tire repair kit, a spare tire and jack, and a Jeep sitting next to her truck that she can't drive because she doesn't want to learn to drive a stick and she's still stuck. I think she may be slowly getting a clue though, she actually showed some interest when I helped her change her tire and even replaced a bad headlamp be herself the next day. There may still be hope.

 

[LockStocksAndBarrel]

+1 Good job!

 

[shibumiseeker]

Helplessness is a learned trait, as is a can-do attitude.

I have no use for "princesses" where that attitude is the default one someone is stuck on. Now, a "princess" who is not afraid to handle herself...yowza!

I find helplessness a turn-off and competency a major turn-on.

There really and simply is no excuse for not learning how to do fairly simple things. Whether it's changing a tire or knowing some basic first aid, these are not complicated and can really make the difference between an inconvenience and a disaster.


A major +1 for you gungirl for taking the initiative and learning a little bit. It'll help you in the future. Now don't stop there.

 

[Mr Evilwrench]

The only thing I've balked at on the car was a blown head gasket, but only because I didn't have a backup or the time to learn it, oh, and it was winter, so the driveway wasn't a friendly place to work. I know I can do all that stuff for a girl, and have done, but I respect competence and confidence. I don't get off on being needed, but I don't mind being helpful.

 

[mcolford]

First of all, way to go for stepping up to figure it out! Thats awesome.


My wife doesnt work on her car at all either. I have showed her how to do this, but I just feel its my responsibility to provide her with a safe vehicle, and its my job to upkeep and fix them. After reading this I guess I should probably make sure she knows how to do all of this though (not that Im worried about a divorce, as much as the very remote possibility of her being somewhere by herself, and me not being able to immediately go help her).

Again, great job figuring it out... A little will power and self drive will get ya where ya want to be!


-MColford

 

[Darral27]

I have two step daughters that are 10 and 12. They currently do not have much interest in working on cars but my plan is to make them learn how to change oil and tires and how to jump off a battery before they start driving. Everybody cannot afford new cars every couple years so basic maintenance is something that everybody driving needs to know. Congrats to you on taking the initiative and learning something new. Next time you will know and it will be so much easier.

 

[jdg0724]

Congrats!!!

 

[gungirl65]

Thank you everyone for the support and kind words.

 

[Mr Evilwrench]

Thank you everyone for the support and kind words.

Here of all places, I hope you know if you really need something someone will be able to help you. Some of us are just like that.

 

[Leo]

When I took drivers ed classes in 1973, one of the instructors was also the auto shop teacher. He would require each student, boy or girl, to check the oil, fan belt, brake fluid, coolant, tire air pressure AND change a tire. I thought it made sense. Some girls complained and that led to the school making him stop the practice and just teach driving. It was a summer school course and the dress code* was suspended for the summer, so it is not like they had to do the exercises in a dress. I thought that he added realistic skills to the process.

* = Pretty hard to believe, but even public school kids could not wear jeans and the girls wore dresses or skirts. Everyones shirt had to have a collar or you could where a collared sweater under your shirt. No t shirts with "advertising". The athletic team members could wear their jerseys on special "school spirit" days. Shoes were leather, and gym shoes were only worn in gym. About 1973 or 74 schools started dropping the dress code, and the place started to look like a homeless shelter.

 

[Knife Lady]

You are well on your way to self reliance and independace. I am sorry to hear it took a lousy husband to get to this point but it sounds like you are moving forward. I have had to do lots of manly things all of my life and I do not regret it one bit.
I cannot tell you how many men I have met that cannot perform simple tasks cooking, laundry, sewing, changing a diaper. If women should be taught to learn how to do minor car repairs in Drivers Ed then boys should learn how to do minor house chores.

 

[Mr Evilwrench]

I've been the dad and the mom this whole century. I'm no Martha Stewart, but we're fed, clothed, clean and warm. There are kids with both parents that don't do so well. You go be awesome!

 

[J_Wales]

Im glad I'm not the future x.

That guy might find his nuts in a set of channel locks before long!

 

[PAMom]

You go girl!I don't know about you, but I love the feeling of being able to care for myself.

I have always lived by my mother's mantra, "If you want something done do it yourself". As a result of this, I have done many unusual things. One such escapade was to rent a jackhammer and replace the concrete floor in my garage. Not necessarily the brightest of my endeavors as I hurt my back shovelling the mess out. However, I have always taken pride in my independence. (Did get the job done, btw.)

Like to see other women take control of their lives and not be helpless.

 

[patience0830]

Thank you everyone for the support and kind words.

This sentiment is a lot more appealing to onlookers and much more soul satisfying to you, I'd wager, than the badmouthing of your FX.
If your attitude towards him during the marriage is reflected in your initial post I can see why he hunted comfort elsewhere. It doesn't excuse his behavior but would make it more understandable.
I don't believe that he witheld the battery charger info on purpose, simply because the avg guy would just as soon have the problem fixed and over with as have to talk to his FX twice about the same thing.

Having been thru the big D in the not too distant past, I understand that it's hard to hear the FX speak and not hear "YOU SUCK" . It's hard for him to not hear the same thing. Keeping your temper and being logical as opposed to angry will work out better for you AND your children. I know its difficult, but take a deep breath and keep trying.
I'm happy that you learned something about yourself and your car at the same time. It'll prove useful in the future.

It always helped me to remember that the only person who cares when you're mad is YOU. Nobody else gives a hoot and nobody suffers more than you do. The good part is you don't HAVE to be mad. Your choice.

 

[Bill of Rights]

You are well on your way to self reliance and independace. I am sorry to hear it took a lousy husband to get to this point but it sounds like you are moving forward. I have had to do lots of manly things all of my life and I do not regret it one bit.
I cannot tell you how many men I have met that cannot perform simple tasks cooking, laundry, sewing, changing a diaper. If women should be taught to learn how to do minor car repairs in Drivers Ed then boys should learn how to do minor house chores.

"A human being should be able to change a diaper, plan an invasion, butcher a hog, conn a ship, design a building, write a sonnet, balance accounts, build a wall, set a bone, comfort the dying, take orders, give orders, cooperate, act alone, solve equations, analyze a new problem, pitch manure, program a computer, cook a tasty meal, fight efficiently, die gallantly. Specialization is for insects."
-Robert A. Heinlein

 

[J_Wales]

"Specialization is for insects."

AMEN.

 

[Bill of Rights]

This sentiment is a lot more appealing to onlookers and much more soul satisfying to you, I'd wager, than the badmouthing of your FX.
If your attitude towards him during the marriage is reflected in your initial post I can see why he hunted comfort elsewhere. It doesn't excuse his behavior but would make it more understandable.
I don't believe that he witheld the battery charger info on purpose, simply because the avg guy would just as soon have the problem fixed and over with as have to talk to his FX twice about the same thing.

Having been thru the big D in the not too distant past, I understand that it's hard to hear the FX speak and not hear "YOU SUCK" . It's hard for him to not hear the same thing. Keeping your temper and being logical as opposed to angry will work out better for you AND your children. I know its difficult, but take a deep breath and keep trying.
I'm happy that you learned something about yourself and your car at the same time. It'll prove useful in the future.

It always helped me to remember that the only person who cares when you're mad is YOU. Nobody else gives a hoot and nobody suffers more than you do. The good part is you don't HAVE to be mad. Your choice.

Sorry to hear about your breakup. I'm sure I'm telling you nothing new to say that it takes time to get past the anger and resentment and feelings of betrayal. Some relationships end with naught but animosity and (thankfully only) a few end violently. If she works through the nasty parts of the breakup by venting harmlessly, more power to her. On the upside, the FX didn't just laugh and hang up on her. I'll add a "you go!" to the above in addition to the rep I gave her last night, primarily for the success in fixing the problem but also for keeping things civil (if not necessarily pleasant) with the FX.

Blessings,
Bill

 

[Mr Evilwrench]

I'm not gonna get into the breakup. Been there too many times. Sometimes, it just doesn't work out. Sometimes she's a loon, sometimes he's an *******, etc etc. This girl seems to be finding some confidence, and I'm all for that.

 

[Bill of Rights]

I'm not gonna get into the breakup. Been there too many times. Sometimes, it just doesn't work out. Sometimes she's a loon, sometimes he's an *******, etc etc. This girl seems to be finding some confidence, and I'm all for that.

^^ That.