divorce

[dcr465]

My experience was that when we split I found my self Cash-poor! Ended up with HUGE Credit Card bill getting an apartment setup after split. I wish I had discretely been setting aside cash for emergency.

If you have kids, IN Child Support can be brutial. Get a good lawyer it might cost you up front but will save you in the end!!

 

[Bounty Hunter]

It is time to end the marriage when the very thought of having to spend time with your spouse makes you anxious. When you feel like they suck the very life out of your soul and they seem to enjoy doing it. When nothing you do is right or ever good enough. When every attempt to be kind or considerate to your spouse is either not appreciated or is criticized.

It is time when you no longer respect each other and insults or criticism replace regular conversations.

It is time when you find yourself consumed in sadness when you used to be an easy going and happy person. When things that used to make you happy no longer do. When you would rather do anything even if it is something unpleasant, than go home when you know they are there. When the very thought of growing old with your spouse makes you momentarily wish for an early death.

It is time when you feel a hate inside your heart for your spouse that you never thought you were capable of feeling. When you secretly wish they were dead so you would never again be subjected to the poisonous venom that spews from their mouth.

It is time to end the marriage when you can't stand the thought of being in the same bed with them, let alone being touched by or being intimate with them.

When you feel these feelings and no longer have happy thoughts about your spouse or your future together, it is time to walk away.

^^^^^^^THIS^^^^^^

Well put!!

 

[hoosierdoc]

^^^^^^^THIS^^^^^^

Well put!!

Except that ^^^^^ x 2 mentioned nothing about attempts at counseling or reconciling, or making any kind of effort at saving something as important as a marriage. Just said when it gets bad to leave.

I've had friendships spoil to the point of never wanting to see them again. Getting pissed being around them, and have reconciled and moved on.

Her post seems like a personal example which is unfortunate. We just don't have enough of the story to agree with that emotional state equaling the divorce cue.

 

[femurphy77]

All good advice from many that have been there. When it gets down to the nitty gritty, you know, that's not yours that's mine, just remember; it's only stuff. When she wants your________, you have to ask yourself, which is more valuable, my _________ or my sanity?

 

[churchmouse]

My lovely wife and I (my 3rd...her 1st) just had our 31 yr. anniversary. It was not all peaches and cream as I came with baggage from previous mistakes and 4 kids. She has been my angel. We had many times where we both wondered if all of this was worth the effort. I went through an epic mid-life crisis (See avatar) and she bore the brunt of that.
She is now suffering from issues both medical and mental and I am carrying her. It ain't easy. My kids have ran me ragged and are just now coming around. It ain't easy.
I see my part in the hardship and the good times. I near drove my wife away and had to sit down and re-evaluate what was important. No counseling just good common sense and looking in the mirror. It was me.
Save it if you can or want to. Get on with your life if you need to. Be as kind as possible if you move on.

 

[Hanu]

My advice would be to start a conversation with your wife at a calm time. Don't start with "I want a divorice". That ends any chance or working things out and it's not fair for her to hear about the end of your marriage without a chance to make it work. Start by telling her that you feel that there are problems in your marriage and what you are willing to do to make them better. Ask how she feels and if she is willing to try to make it better. Her answer will tell you your next step.

My marriage is a sacred vow and happily for me, we both work at it. We don't always agree or get along but we get through those times. God bless you and I hope you're able to work things out but if not, I hope you're able to get through the split without trying to damage each other.

 

[Harmi01]

My experience was you do all that you can and never give up. Does not mean you will be successful (I was not) but you will live the rest of your life knowing you did all that you could. That knowledge brings a lot of peace.....especially as you move forward in your life. Best wishes.....

 

[littletommy]

divorces stink good luck

Now there's a point nobody has touched on yet!