divorce

[marcum man]

How do you know when its time? I think its my time. I live in a house of animosity, and I can't handle it anymore. Please help.

 

[littletommy]

Sorry brother, that sucks. Get a GOOD attorney, and don't trust the other party to do anything they say they will. If you are a drinker, stop for a while. Do NOT leave her, or the marital home before having her served with papers.

 

[marcum man]

Not a drinker. Just a God fearing, hard working man. Thanks for the advice.

 

[malern28us]

Not a drinker. Just a God fearing, hard working man. Thanks for the advice.

Then I would first discuss it with a trusted family memeber or clergy member. Most people I know had no doubts when it was time to end the marriage. Good luck, I hope it works out for the best for you.

 

[SEIndSAM]

If you have any Social Media accounts, like Facebook and INGO, remember they will be searched by the other parties Attn. Be very careful what you say and you may want to review what you have said in the past.

Get a really good Attn. I spent an extra $1000 to get the best one in my area and he saved me 20x that amount.

 

[tmfinney]

Sorry brother, that sucks. Get a GOOD attorney, and don't trust the other party to do anything they say they will. If you are a drinker, stop for a while. Do NOT leave her, or the marital home before having her served with papers.

Just like this man said, also anything she promises get it in writing. A piece of paper with her signature on it has a lot of weight in court. I would also think that if you have guns in the house, get them out! If you get into an argument, she could easily say that you threatened her with them and then you have more problems.

I'm sorry that you are going through this.

 

[marcum man]

No Facebook no twitter only Ingo

 

[marcum man]

Just like this man said, also anything she promises get it in writing. A piece of paper with her signature on it has a lot of weight in court. I would also think that if you have guns in the house, get them out! If you get into an argument, she could easily say that you threatened her with them and then you have more problems.

I'm sorry that you are going through this.

Good thinking there, thanks for that.

 

[marcum man]

I often thought about getting Facebook so I could read the garbage she writes on ther about me. But I haven't because I know that would (probably) make me cause problems back. And I want to keep my "proper person" status good.

 

[GBuck]

I would also think that if you have guns in the house, get them out! If you get into an argument, she could easily say that you threatened her with them and then you have more problems.

THIS.


Happened to my father. One of the nicest men you will ever meet, and never raised a hand in anger to ANYONE. Suddenly he has the cops at his house asking about how he "threatened to hurt" my former step-mother and a court document saying he can't own any guns because he allegedly threatened her with them. He has them back now, but it was a nightmare.

 

[mac45]

Sorry you're having troubles.
No new advice, but ditto on don't move out.
A buddy of mine did that to give his wife "some space" to try and work things out, and to not upset the kids. The court considered that "abandonment" and it cost him dearly down the road.

 

[looney2ns]

Life is too short to live in misery.
Talk to someone you trust, preferrably someone that has gone through it themselves.

Usually, if you think it's bad, its worse than that. You can't see the forrest for the trees.
Until you look back after the fact and think why did I tolerate that?

 

[littletommy]

I often thought about getting Facebook so I could read the garbage she writes on ther about me. But I haven't because I know that would (probably) make me cause problems back. And I want to keep my "proper person" status good.

According to my ex wife, I'm a combination of Hitler and Satan. I know for a fact she talks about how horrible I am to anyone who will listen, I just ignore it, and sometimes laugh about it. We've been divorced for almost 9 years, I'm now married to an awesome woman, my kids would rather spend their time with me than their mom , and she's on her 3rd husband since we split up. Karma is a real *****, and watching my ex dwell on her bitterness is sad, but in a strange way, satisfying, given her history.

 

[findingZzero]

It takes two to have a fight. If you're at an impasse and see no other way, then grasshopper, it's time to leave. A gun forum may not be the best place for advice, except, perhaps to lock up your weapons and throw away the ammo. Ignoring what I just said I will go on to say.....
The stuff we fight about is usually a cover for some of our own problems. We turn the other person into a projection of our own issues and insecurities. And it goes both ways. We bring our flawed personalities together and end up fighting and being angry about things we never resolved before we even met. A good relationship isn't one w/o problems, but one that can grow by working out the problems.
e.g.., This morn my wife of almost 30 yrs started`a sentence with "I need you to plan your day around....." and I started to feel myself becoming defensive (I have problems being told what to do), and I noticed and listened. The end of the sentence was "your birthday dinner at 6pm." I then told her my initial reaction and how I've always been like that. Backing up and thinking about what's going on (certainly not an easy exercise) instead of bursting with anger is a way of trying to see why we behave the way we do. I suspect my reaction was hatched long before we met. Good luck and good luck.

 

[bmbutch]

Ditto & some adders:

Don't move out.
Talk with your Pastor or similar, but be careful, they might be crazy too.
Document your financial status clearly.
Def. move the firearms elsewhere. Any that aren't registered should be sold or lost, similar to if Gov't comes looking for them.
Best Lawyer you can afford.
I'm sorry for your troubles, came very close myself about 4 years ago, but it's all good now. (she got all kinds of brainwashed by church/pastor, hence my warning they might be crazy too, & no, there was no infertility, that's a deal breaker).

Praying for you!

 

[Redskinsfan]

I am sorry for you in this tough situation. You have received some sound advice on here already. My first choice for counsel would be clergy in my church.

 

[Hammer]

First, get on your knees and pray to the good lord above for the strength and wisdom to make it through an ordeal like no other you have encountered before. Also pray for your kids if you have them between you two.

Trust no one, not even family or friends. And especially the soon to be ex.
Get a damn good lawyer, preferably a female if possible. If you don't like what they are saying, fire them and get another one.
Record everything and document every phone conversation and what was said.
Get your money out of the bank and close the account.
File papers asap.

 

[hoosierdoc]

lots of threads on this unfortunately, most with minimal info from the OP.

Have you sought counseling?

 

[Dead Duck]

How do you know when its time? I think its my time. I live in a house of animosity, and I can't handle it anymore. Please help.

It's time, when you post to thousands online asking - if it's time.





Can I have your guns?

 

[daddymikey1975]

no, there was no infertility, that's a deal breaker).

Praying for you!

Did you mean 'infidelity' ?? I don't believe divorcing someone do to their inability to conceive is fair