I am doing my best to mediate between the two of them. I am begging borrowing and pleading with her to just give him one day at a time.
I am 100% committed to saving this marriage, even if I have to drag her kicking and screaming back into it. It is worth saving.
My youngest brother just went through this, his divorce was final Jan 1st. He was the one who wanted out. They went through therapy, did mediation, and talked to the church. Bottom line is my bro wanted out! It got to the point that he couldnt stand going home to his wife at the end of the day. You cant put a bandaid on a broken arm and expect to fix it.
Your buddy will be better off not being in a loveless marriage in the long run.
They both have to want it.
They both have to want it.
Totally agree. Wants can be changed when feelings are changed, and how you feel about something is largely determined by how it affects you.
If you change how you affect someone, you can change how they feel about you, and that will change their idea about what they want from life.
Of course, there are some instances, where a person's heart is so hard, and their mind so closed, that nothing will help. Always a possibility. I would like to think that is very rare though.
Sorry, but I have to respectfully disagree.
Love is not a feeling, love is an intentional act that will lead to feelings of
affection and romance.
Also, there is no instance where a divorce has better results than a marriage that is saved.
^^^^this
look at the divorce rate in the U.S. now, look at it from 50 years ago....now look at the divorce rate in far eastern areas like Japan and China.
The U.S. is a "I-want-my-way-and-I-want-it-right-now" place. People too quickly decide, "well its not working right now and I dont want to work at it, so lets give up"....its a lack of courage in my opinion. I am married and this will be my 4year anniversary in a few months and I must say that I love my wife everyday, but I certainly do not like her everyday haha....but I am committed to her and only her, so no matter what, we make it work.
We are committed to each other and to our kids. We want to do everything in our power to allow our kids to grow up with both parents in the same loving. That being said, I know that kids is not an answer to stay together and that if parents are fighting all of the time the kids are usually better off if the parents are not together.
I also completely understand that it takes 2 people fully committed to each other to make a marriage work.
Also, this is not a case of one person abusing the other. It's just an instance were he was distant and not engaged in his family, which lead to her feeling neglected and unhappy. This is NOT a hopeless sistuation, which is probably what is getting to me the most. I have seen this kind of situation first hand, and know that it can be fixed and the result can be a very strong fulfilling marriage.