Divorce sucks...

[bonzaiberger]

UPDATE...
So I've been doing alot of soul searching this week(between crying and being mad). After talking wih friends and family on both side who has seen everything the last few years I have realized I am ok. Yes I'm very heartbroken but over the situation, but looking foward to moving on.
My wife never did give me the mutual respect that a loving wife should, she treated me more like a hired hand or a borrowed mule. I just went along with it because I got too wrapped up in having a hot trophy wife to show off and didn't like to argue.
We always had issue's over my stepson too. I loved him from the start and had a great connection with him. The problem was she told me to treat him as my own (it just had to coincide with the way she wanted him treated) We would butt heads over stuff all the time, little things, I didn't like him listening to "dirty" music or watching TV inapropriate for a kid or being a smarta$$ and backtalking. She let him do whatever he wanted. So she told him to act a certain way around me but not around her.
Looking at it now This should be the best way out, the circumstances should keep me from wanting back in something that wasn't very healthy anyway.
Thankyou everyone for the advice and kind words, its been a tough week but I'm doing alot better now.

 

[Aaron1776]

I also completely understand that it takes 2 people fully committed to each other to make a marriage work.

Also, this is not a case of one person abusing the other. It's just an instance were he was distant and not engaged in his family, which lead to her feeling neglected and unhappy. This is NOT a hopeless sistuation, which is probably what is getting to me the most. I have seen this kind of situation first hand, and know that it can be fixed and the result can be a very strong fulfilling marriage.

I totally appreciate your feelings pal, and I totally agree that divorcing for such a reason is about as smart as purposely stepping on a landmine...well multiple landminds actually because there are kids involved it sounds like.
However, until the root problem of why she doesn't want to save the marriage/doesn't have a problem with violating a vow is found, (daddy issues, mommy issues, bad habits ingrained by a string of sexual relationships that ended before the marriage, doesnt have the propper view of God, fill in whatever crap gives people the mindset that it's OK to break a life commitment) chances are she simply isnt going to want to save it. The crappy part is that she has to want to find the reason.

You can try bro, but don't hold your breath.

Personally and scripturally I can't justify a divorce for anything except the 3 As (abuse, adultery, or abandonment by an unbeliever.)

If I had a wife I'd go and hug her right now.....
but since I don't I guess I'll go hug my dog. lol