Bad news Friday. So where do we go from here?

[rw02kr43]

My wife and I have been trying to have a baby for a while now. We found out that she had problems. Then found out that I do too. So, we're the lucky 1%. Friday we went to a consultation together and our worst case was in vitro was going to be the only option. What we were told was worse. That isn't even an option. So, do we go for adoption? Give up completely? Just be bitter and angry? Really kinda lost at this point. And then we see that some woman has 21 kids, drunk and getting beaten up by one of her baby daddies while pregnant with #22. How is that right at all? We did what we were supposed to. Got ourselves in financial order. Bought a house big enough in a great location. And now we're going to have 3 guestrooms. It's depressing. My wife is taking it hard and crying constantly. I'm just very angry for now. Rant off. Sorry for the rambling post.

Jason

 

[sassy lassy]

Life isn't fair and this is about as unfair as it gets. I hope and pray that you and your wife are able to add to your family as it's obvious that any child would be lucky to have you as parents. Keeping you both in my prayers tonight.

 

[SkullDaddy.45]

My wife and I have been trying to have a baby for a while now. We found out that she had problems. Then found out that I do too. So, we're the lucky 1%. Friday we went to a consultation together and our worst case was in vitro was going to be the only option. What we were told was worse. That isn't even an option. So, do we go for adoption? Give up completely? Just be bitter and angry? Really kinda lost at this point. And then we see that some woman has 21 kids, drunk and getting beaten up by one of her baby daddies while pregnant with #22. How is that right at all? We did what we were supposed to. Got ourselves in financial order. Bought a house big enough in a great location. And now we're going to have 3 guestrooms. It's depressing. My wife is taking it hard and crying constantly. I'm just very angry for now. Rant off. Sorry for the rambling post.

Jason

My believes are that everything happens for a reason. If you and your wife cannot conceive a baby, then god has another plan for you. Adoption is such a great way to go! Or even being foster parents. There is alot of children all ready here that needs great parents. Take a deep breathe and a long talk with your wife. God may have already blessed you with a child! Now you just have to go out and meet him! Good luck!!

 

[jagee]

Sorry to hear about your troubles. I vote for adoption. If you really want a child then you should be able to be a loving parent. There are many people out there who have adopted and I know a few of them, they love their children just as much as if they had them the natural way. I am no expert on the subject but adoption is a great way to not only get you the child you and your family want, but it also helps a child that was essentially 'unwanted' ...I say it is a win-win.



Good luck, hope it all works out for you!

 

[hoosierdoc]

Sorry things are not going as you had hoped. It sounds like you both are determined to be parents. As a Christian, I believe we are intended to do certain things and if you feel called to be a parent, then you need to be one. We have two biological kids and are nearly done with an adoption. I was never interested in pursuing adoption, but it is incredible. Spend some time talking to people who were adopted and with parents who have adopted. It is as noble a pursuit as one can find on the planet. You are completely changing the direction of a child's life by doing so. Heck, Moses was adopted and look what he accomplished!

 

[Tnichols00]

Sorry to hear about this man, while its not the ideal thing to have there is many upsides to this.

First off it sounds like the two of you really want kids, you have already put in a lot of time and effort into this. I vote to adopt, there are some great kids that will not grow to their full potential without the proper guidance from a parent. You can be that role model for your desired number of children.

Adopting is a very admirable thing to do, you are altering your life to alter someone else's for the better. Steve Jobs was adopted, while I don't know him, he seems like a good moral guy who changed the way we live today.

Another side note good part is your wife does not have to go through pregnancy... Or I mean you don't have to go through it with her LOL

 

[flatlander]

That woman with the 21 kids should be spayed!
I'm sorry for you and your wife's troubles. Maybe God has a child out there waiting for you already? Adoption can be a real good thing for all involved. I grew up in the foster system from birth and finally got adopted by a great family who did the best they could by me.

Bob

 

[HoughMade]

I'm sorry that you have to deal with this. It sounds incredibly difficult.

I have a friend who has adopted from Russia. It's not necessarily easy or inexpensive and sometimes there are special challenges to deal with, but he has the family he and his wife always wanted.

 

[SkullDaddy.45]

Adoption is when a baby grew in its mommy's heart, instead of her tummy!
author unknown .

 

[metaldog]

Prayers sent, OP. I believe everything happens for a reason. There is no coincidence. While we may wonder why, it is important to realize your purpose in life. If you don't know your purpose, then realize your passion. Your passion will lead to your purpose. Since it sounds like you strongly desire to parent a child, I also would suggest adoption.
Be blessed!

 

[spec4]

A friend had a similar problem, wife had hysterectomy in her mid twenties. They adopted four kids and are as happy as can be.

 

[Giddaltti]

I say take it on the chin and move on. You sound like your ready to share the love so let yourselves be found and answer the higher calling.

 

[phishb0y]

My wife and I also went through the infertility ringer. I know it sucks right now and seems like everyone you know or see is pregnant or hasbro little ones. We decided to become foster parents with the intention to adopt. Dealing with Dept of Children's Serv will make you want to drink, but the kids we have benn able to bring into our life has been amazing. Our current foster placement is a limitless girl who we have had with us since she wad 4 months old. She is the light of our life and it looks like we are close to adoption. Foster parenting is a great way to share the love you and your wife have in your hearts. It is not always easy when you combine govt agency and parents with issues, but all the hassles and frustration are worth it everytinpme she wraps her arms around me. I also want to suggest you and your wife find someone to talk to. Infertility, the treatments and disappointments were tough on our marriage and tough for us as individuals. I will keep you in my prayers. If you need someone to talk to shoot me a message

Stay strong
John

 

[SkullDaddy.45]

I remember reading about someone who said they had 4 kids, two of which were adopted, he said he couldn't remember which two! How great it that!!!!

 

[Fletch]

My wife and I have been trying to have a baby for a while now. We found out that she had problems. Then found out that I do too. So, we're the lucky 1%. Friday we went to a consultation together and our worst case was in vitro was going to be the only option. What we were told was worse. That isn't even an option. So, do we go for adoption? Give up completely? Just be bitter and angry? Really kinda lost at this point. And then we see that some woman has 21 kids, drunk and getting beaten up by one of her baby daddies while pregnant with #22. How is that right at all? We did what we were supposed to. Got ourselves in financial order. Bought a house big enough in a great location. And now we're going to have 3 guestrooms. It's depressing. My wife is taking it hard and crying constantly. I'm just very angry for now. Rant off. Sorry for the rambling post.

Jason

Feel your pain, dude. Fair warning: the adoption system isn't any more fun. Be prepared to hate government bureaucracy with the white-hot fury of a thousand suns.

 

[hornadylnl]

I know a guy whose parents tried to have children and they couldn't. They adopted a girl and a few years later, they became pregnant with him.

Fast forward about 30 years. He and his wife tried having children and couldn't. They adopted a girl and a couple years later became pregnant with their son.

 

[joslar15]

My believes are that everything happens for a reason. If you and your wife cannot conceive a baby, then god has another plan for you. Adoption is such a great way to go! Or even being foster parents. There is alot of children all ready here that needs great parents. Take a deep breathe and a long talk with your wife. God may have already blessed you with a child! Now you just have to go out and meet him! Good luck!!

Every word of Skulls response, TRUTH! +100! Another thing to consider, if you already have the proverbial "ducks in a row", so to speak, this setback may strengthen your ability to demonstrate your love for the child or children in your future! Stay strong!

 

[sadclownwp]

My wife and I have been trying to have a baby for a while now. We found out that she had problems. Then found out that I do too. So, we're the lucky 1%. Friday we went to a consultation together and our worst case was in vitro was going to be the only option. What we were told was worse. That isn't even an option. So, do we go for adoption? Give up completely? Just be bitter and angry? Really kinda lost at this point. And then we see that some woman has 21 kids, drunk and getting beaten up by one of her baby daddies while pregnant with #22. How is that right at all? We did what we were supposed to. Got ourselves in financial order. Bought a house big enough in a great location. And now we're going to have 3 guestrooms. It's depressing. My wife is taking it hard and crying constantly. I'm just very angry for now. Rant off. Sorry for the rambling post.

Jason

Look at the bright side, imagine how much money you will save, the vacations you can go on, the cars you won't have to buy because of having kids. Imagine the cars you can now own because you don't have to plan on kids. I say congrats on your new found financial future. I wish I was so lucky. You can get the guns you have always wanted now because feeding gun is so much cheaper than feeding kids. I seriously wish I was in your shoes, but I hate kids.

 

[1775usmarine]

My wife and I have been trying to have a baby for a while now. We found out that she had problems. Then found out that I do too. So, we're the lucky 1%. Friday we went to a consultation together and our worst case was in vitro was going to be the only option. What we were told was worse. That isn't even an option. So, do we go for adoption? Give up completely? Just be bitter and angry? Really kinda lost at this point. And then we see that some woman has 21 kids, drunk and getting beaten up by one of her baby daddies while pregnant with #22. How is that right at all? We did what we were supposed to. Got ourselves in financial order. Bought a house big enough in a great location. And now we're going to have 3 guestrooms. It's depressing. My wife is taking it hard and crying constantly. I'm just very angry for now. Rant off. Sorry for the rambling post.

Jason

My wife and I are in the same boat. We have been trying for almost 2 yrs. We want to go no surgery and what not so we have been doing the Creighton Model. Its not covered by our insurance as far as the charts and visits. its cost us 55 dollars each time we go to follow up on how we are charting. The Ob/Gyn part is covered, so the tests and what not except the railroad health care plan wont pay for invirto and the other.
So far I have low mobility around 10-20% and my numbers are a tad below average. I've been doing my best to cut the tobacco. I also been taking several different supplements. I take Maca root, DHA, Horse chestnut, and some others. Hopefully in 3 months the numbers will be better.
We started this Crieghton model in Sept because we are religious and don't believe in artificial methods. Not sure if you are Catholic or religious ,but this may be for you. We go to St. Joesph's regional medical center in Mishawaka. Its a christian based hospital.
So far the staff are friendly and willing to help you get pregnant, by looking at her health, helping you both understand what is going on inside her body, and when the best time for conception could be. The success rate increases every year as you both get more use to her cycle and can figure what factors could cause a change and whatnot. You can also use this to avoid pregnancy if needed.
We're willing to give this a try and see where it goes. Hopefully my swimmers get better and get to work. If you would like a number for more information you can call Suzy Younger at 15743356472 to get more information and to get a run down on what this model does and whats involved.

 

[hoosierdaddy1976]

thoughts with you. your family might not have a traditional start, but you'll find your way to be great parents.