Are you gross in the shower/bath?

[lawrra]

I haven't taken a bath since I was 5...Do grown men do that type of stuff?

Adam Sandler did in Billy Madison

 

[IndyMonkey]

Where does peeing on a girlfriend while you are both in the shower fall?

It was pretty funny, like 12 year old humor.
The surprised look on her face was priceless.

 

[Goosepond Monster]

I too am guilty of all three. I can pee right before I get in the shower and sure enough I have to pee again as soon as I step into the water.

 

[Scutter01]

What's a shower?

 

[opus1776]

Just remember, whatever you do don't . Hot air rises FAST!

======================================

"Nothing tastes as good as skinny feels" K. Moss

You can NEVER be too rich or too thin.

Life is not a journey, but a series of unplanned detours...

 

[Mini-14]

The results to this poll are disturbing.

Seems like there are more sick MF'ers out there.

+1

 

[tuoder]

What's a shower?

That's when it rains, but not real bad.

 

[redneckmedic]

Well, after 53 years, I finally know how to shower !!!!! Thank You !!!!!

Is that why you waited so long to take one... you didn't know how

 

[printcraft]

It's like I tell my kids, it's kind of like having your corn touch your mashed potatoes on your plate and not wanting to eat it for that reason.

It all goes the same place anyhow.

 

[Joe Williams]

Only slightly out of the ordinary thing I do in the shower, though I don't think it's particularly gross, is have sex.


It's even more fun when my wife joins me!!

 

[SavageEagle]

There's nothing wrong with spitting and blowing snot rockets in the shower. However, I can't get past the Peeing in the shower thing. I do the second and third and my wife does the first. I like Joe's thinking though. He's right. It's much more fun when the wife joins.

 

[steve666]

HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A WOMAN:

-Take off clothing and place it in sectioned laundry hamper according to lights and darks.

-Walk to bathroom wearing long dressing gown. If you see your husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.

-Look at your womanly physique in the mirror - make mental note - must do more sit-ups.

-Get in the shower. Use face cloth, arm cloth, leg cloth, long loofah, wide loofah and pumice stone.

-Wash your hair once with Cucumber and Sage shampoo with 43 added vitamins.

-Wash your hair again to make sure it's clean.

-Condition your hair with Grapefruit Mint conditioner enhanced with natural avocado oil. Leave on hair for fifteen minutes.

-Wash your face with crushed apricot facial scrub for ten minutes until red.

-Wash entire rest of body with Ginger Nut and Jaffa Cake body wash.

-Rinse conditioner off hair (you must make sure that it has all come off).

-Shave armpits and legs.

-Consider shaving bikini area but decide to get it waxed instead.

-Scream loudly when your husband flushes the toilet and you lose the water
pressure.

-Turn off the shower.

-Squeegee off all wet surfaces in shower.

-Spray mold spots with Tilex.

-Get out of shower.

-Dry with towel the size of a small country.

-Wrap hair in super absorbent second towel.

-Check entire body for the remotest sign of a zit, tweeze hairs.

-Return to bedroom wearing long dressing gown and towel on head.

-If you see your husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas and then sashay to bedroom to spend and hour and a half getting dressed.





HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A MAN:

-Take off clothes while sitting on the edge of the bed and leave them in a pile.

-Walk naked to the bathroom.

-If you see your wife along the way, shake wiener at her making the "woo-woo"
sound.

- Look at your manly physique in the mirror and suck in your gut to see if you have pecs (no).

-Admire the size of your wiener in the mirror and scratch your ass.

-Fart.

-Get in the shower.

-Don't bother to look for a washcloth (you don't use one).

-Wash your face.

-Wash your armpits.

-Blow your nose in your hands, then let the water just rinse it off.

-Crack up at how loud your fart sounds in the shower.

-Majority of time is spent washing your privates and surrounding area.

-Wash your butt, leaving those coarse butt hairs on the soap bar.

-Shampoo your hair (do not use conditioner).

-Make a shampoo Mohawk.

-Peek out of shower curtain to look at yourself in the mirror again.

-Pee (in the shower).

-Rinse off and get out of the shower.

-Fail to notice water on the floor because you left the curtain hanging out of the
tub the whole time.

-Partially dry off.

-Look at yourself in the mirror, flex muscles, admire wiener size again.

-Leave shower curtain open and wet bath mat on the floor.

-Leave bathroom fan and light on.

-Return to the bedroom with towel around your waist. If you pass your wife, pull
off the towel, shake wiener at her, and make the "woo-woo" sound again.

-Throw wet towel on the bed.

-Get dressed in under two minutes.

-Fart

 

[SavageEagle]

You forgot the brush teeth in the shower part, but yea that describes my wife and i pretty well.

 

[Beau]

The results to this poll are disturbing.

Why don't you poll your hubby on this. Or you can just wonder what he does in there the next time you take a shower.

 

[360]

Pee is sterile, so it shouldn't even be considered a health hazard, although the thought of it turns most people off.

 

[Jack Ryan]

Oh, my... wait til Jack sees this one! His head will "splode!

"Pipes are pipes" George Castanza

 

[SavageEagle]

Pee is sterile, so it shouldn't even be considered a health hazard, although the thought of it turns most people off.

How is Pee sterile?

 

[misconfig]

You don't even want to know what the water flushes down my drains.

 

[Benny]

How is Pee sterile?

If I knew how the body worked, I'd explain it to you...But I don't.

Urine is sterile but your urethra isn't, so it's contaminated on its way out.

 

[SavageEagle]

If I knew how the body worked, I'd explain it to you...But I don't.

Urine is sterile but your urethra isn't, so it's contaminated on its way out.

It's ok. If I ever have to pull a "Waterworld" I think I'll just save my last bullet for myself...