Anyone else choosing to not have kids?

[CHCRandy]

My wife refused to have just one child.....because she was an only child and didnt want them to be alone when we are gone . She was spoiled and honestly didnt know how to handle life when we first married.....she thought pouting would get everything for her. When you are the only child all them tough decisions later in life fall on your shoulders. Parents health, aging, then you lose 1 of them, nursing homes and funerals. At least with a sibling, you do have someone to turn to and help out in those times....

 

[hornadylnl]

Instead of coming off as stuck up and selfish to me, because he said he enjoyed living responsibility free and saving his pennies as reasons for not wanting kids. If he had said we tried and medical reasons prevent us from having kids then I wouldn't of thought what I originally thought, since my wife and I have issues trying to conceive and seeing a post like that coming up to our own, and conclusions I'm sure you could see where we are coming from.

Your situation is what it is regardless of what other couples do or say. It is what it is regardless of the OP's reasoning for not having children. I don't believe he's trying to rub it in your or anyone else's face who are trying to have children and can't. To rub it in peoples faces is pure douchebaggery but at the end of the day it still doesn't change your situation.

Your statements come across to me like the poor who are angry at the rich because they are poor. I sympathize with your situation but I think your anger at those who choose not to have kids is misplaced.

My wife and I conceived the first month we tried. After breaking the news to family, we found out my brother and his wife had been trying for some time. We felt bad for them but but they had no right to be angry at us because of it. They weren't angry at us by the way.

I told my wife that I we couldn't conceive naturally, we'd either adopt or not have any. I was t going to go through all the infertility stuff. Too many kids out there who need adopted.

 

[GodFearinGunTotin]

My wife refused to have just one child.....because she was an only child and didnt want them to be alone when we are gone . She was spoiled and honestly didnt know how to handle life when we first married.....she thought pouting would get everything for her. When you are the only child all them tough decisions later in life fall on your shoulders. Parents health, aging, then you lose 1 of them, nursing homes and funerals. At least with a sibling, you do have someone to turn to and help out in those times....

This has been my experience. My brother carried far more than his fair share and I'll forever be grateful.

 

[1775usmarine]

Your situation is what it is regardless of what other couples do or say. It is what it is regardless of the OP's reasoning for not having children. I don't believe he's trying to rub it in your or anyone else's face who are trying to have children and can't. To rub it in peoples faces is pure douchebaggery but at the end of the day it still doesn't change your situation.

Your statements come across to me like the poor who are angry at the rich because they are poor. I sympathize with your situation but I think your anger at those who choose not to have kids is misplaced.

My wife and I conceived the first month we tried. After breaking the news to family, we found out my brother and his wife had been trying for some time. We felt bad for them but but they had no right to be angry at us because of it. They weren't angry at us by the way.

I told my wife that I we couldn't conceive naturally, we'd either adopt or not have any. I was t going to go through all the infertility stuff. Too many kids out there who need adopted.

I'm not angry, but then again reading words on the interwebs lack vocal emotional value to judge where the post are going most of the time.

 

[hornadylnl]

This has been my experience. My brother carried far more than his fair share and I'll forever be grateful.

On the other hand, my daughter won't have anyone to fight with. Everything goes to her.

 

[churchmouse]

This has been my experience. My brother carried far more than his fair share and I'll forever be grateful.

As did my sister.

 

[hornadylnl]

I'm not angry, but then again reading words on the interwebs lack vocal emotional value to judge where the post are going most of the time.

I personally know a family who adopted. A husband and wife tried for years and couldn't have a child. They adopted a girl and a few years later, they conceived a son. Fast Forward 35 years, the son and his wife tried having a child and couldn't. They adopted a girl from Guatemala and a few years later, they too conceived a son.

No greater love than a husband and wife who go through the torture and hell that is the adoption process to take on another's child as their own. I don't understand those who are angry at their adoptive parents. You weren't an accident. Your parents wanted you so badly they went through hell to get you.

 

[Snapdragon]

When you are the only child all them tough decisions later in life fall on your shoulders. Parents health, aging, then you lose 1 of them, nursing homes and funerals. At least with a sibling, you do have someone to turn to and help out in those times....

Going through that now, so I definitely know. But it is what it is. I would not have wanted a sibling to go through the stuff I went through as a kid, so I'm glad my parents stopped when they did.

 

[JetGirl]

It doesn't have to suck. I was an only child, and I never missed having siblings.

My comment was mostly tongue in cheek.
My half-siblings are all very much older than me, so I was raised as an "only". Other than not having anybody else to blame things on, it seemed fine to me. I think MiniJet turned out ok from the experience too.

 

[CHCRandy]

Going through that now, so I definitely know. But it is what it is. I would not have wanted a sibling to go through the stuff I went through as a kid, so I'm glad my parents stopped when they did.

I am sorry you have to deal with that...but it sounds like you have a good family to help you out. My wife and I think we were put together for a reason. I was there for her and her for me.....we both know how the other feels. That helps. Best to you.

 

[Snapdragon]

My comment was mostly tongue in cheek.
My half-siblings are all very much older than me, so I was raised as an "only". Other than not having anybody else to blame things on, it seemed fine to me. I think MiniJet turned out ok from the experience too.

Cool. I just didn't want to contribute to the "there's a right way and a wrong way to have kids" argument.

 

[Snapdragon]

I am sorry you have to deal with that...but it sounds like you have a good family to help you out. My wife and I think we were put together for a reason. I was there for her and her for me.....we both know how the other feels. That helps. Best to you.

Thanks. I've got no one. It's just me and my mom, and she's 81 and not in the best health. But I'm up for it. She was there for me; now it's time for me to be there for her.

 

[mom45]

Unfortunately, I must spread rep around. This is truly a rep worthy post. Having children is a huge responsibility and a very personal choice. We ***** about all the bad parents we see but never hesitate to condemn those who make a different choice.

I got her for ya BA! That was a rep worthy post for sure.

 

[Snapdragon]

 

[bradmedic04]

I personally know a family who adopted. A husband and wife tried for years and couldn't have a child. They adopted a girl and a few years later, they conceived a son. Fast Forward 35 years, the son and his wife tried having a child and couldn't. They adopted a girl from Guatemala and a few years later, they too conceived a son.

No greater love than a husband and wife who go through the torture and hell that is the adoption process to take on another's child as their own. I don't understand those who are angry at their adoptive parents. You weren't an accident. Your parents wanted you so badly they went through hell to get you.

There are some God awful adoptive parents out there...*cough* my in-laws *cough*

Wanting a child and going through the adoption hassle does not a good parent make, and for the adopted individual, the fact that their parents worked hard and really wanted you doesn't forgive the mistakes they make.

 

[Giddaltti]

Good for you flash, it's up to the both of you to make the choice that is best for you. One note of interest is you are a family of two now, kids not required. Children become an addition if and when the time is right. Nature has it's way of reaching out when we listen. Nonetheless, I hear what your saying and feeling about the world around us. I think that is another personal choice if you will have to make. Kids not required to try and make this world a better place. Hope your family isn't giving you a hard time. Of my 6 children 1 shares your sentiment. We're ok with that and support her.

 

[bobzilla]

I still can't understand how I am the root of all evil because you( royal, not specific) can't have them.

Some people are made for kids. Some people aren't. Who are you to judge me over it? Seriously...... WTF is wrong with some people? Who are you to judge me? Are you also mad that we'll have no debt in 7 years and plan to retire early as well? Get over yourself. Seriously. I just can't wrap my brain around this absolutely ludicrous way of thinking.

 

[1861navy]

Funny how this thread has evolved. Without airing all the family's dirty laundry, I know kids can be a blessing for some (like me) and a curse (for my dad's dad's family). I know siblings can be your best friend (like my brother) and someone you loathe and die never having contact with them again (my dad's brother). People are people; some are wonderful and some -- not so much. How you view the situation certainly seems to depend on your own experiences.

Exactly right GFGT.

Seeing as how some people seem offended, I must apologize if my post had offended anyone, certainly wasn't my intention. I have seen many good reasons for not having kids and I have seen many selfish reasons for not having kids. I also didn't mean to come across as if I was calling OP, or anyone for that matter, selfish for his/their choice. Like I said I've been there, a lot of us probably felt that way at one time or another, while others knew kids weren't for them. I'm still at a place where if the option to have kids now arose I would still turn it down, though I know I want them someday.

Thanks. I've got no one. It's just me and my mom, and she's 81 and not in the best health. But I'm up for it. She was there for me; now it's time for me to be there for her.

I sympathize with you Snapdragon. That is partially where I am at now except it's my grandma and my mom. Grandma's not in good health, mom I do it just because I love her.

 

[palerider0485]

my girlfriend of 3 years and i both have no kids. just a spoiled cat. and a koi pond. i dont know if we will ever have kids, id like to think we got time to do it later but the longer you wait the harder it is, time is a mother.... if we never do im fine with that, if we do, it will be alot to deal with, but id be fine with that as well.

 

[Leadeye]

I was lucky with my sons, both did well growing up and are fine self supporting men now. They visit periodically and we stay in touch over the phone and internet. Both are still enjoying the young man's life in the big cities in their early thirties. Memsahib would like to see some grandchildren, but when the subject comes up I just say let things follow their current course, they may find that perfect girl, like I did long ago, and they may not. Better to have a good relationship for children to be raised in. Time moves on though and she's from a family where the women have their first child at 18, so I expect to hear more about it.