Anyone else choosing to not have kids?

[gregkl]

Unfortunately, I must spread rep around. This is truly a rep worthy post. Having children is a huge responsibility and a very personal choice. We ***** about all the bad parents we see but never hesitate to condemn those who make a different choice.

I think just in this thread there are several rep worthy posts.

I am 54 with two raised and married kids. I would not trade my experience and what is has done for my life for the world. Just like a dog owner can't imagine life without a dog.

That said, I see nothing wrong with a couple's decision to not have children.

 

[Birds Away]

I represented you sir.

Thank you, sir. I have two kids and two grandkids that I would not trade for the world. But I do respect other people's choices. I think part of it is we see really good people who we think would make excellent parents and regret that they choose another path. With all of the bad parents around it is a shame sometimes.

 

[gregkl]

Hey, off topic, but did INGO get hacked? The same thread is all over the board right now. I am afraid to open it.

 

[gregkl]

Hey, off topic, but did INGO get hacked? The same thread is all over the board right now. I am afraid to open it.

Something about "Buy novelty....."

Oops, double post. Sorry.

 

[femurphy77]

I'll just come to the point upfront: you sound selfish, as in "we can't be inconvenienced with kids". Instead of thinking about how worse your life will be, think about how richer it will be. Instead of thinking how they will affect your life, think about the positive influence you can have on new life. Think in the long term - as in thirty years from now and what you might miss out on. Ask someone with kids about how much they grew up with their kids. Ask your parents. It sounds like they did a good job raising you so they might have insight.

As to "the way the world is heading", that could be said in any time and any place. Outside of the Garden of Eden, the world has always been filled with pain and evil. You're certainly not the first person to think this way, but it's really not a good excuse.

"Savoring the moment" is a good key to life, but so if accepting the fact that life requires changes to grow and flourish. Just look at the guys that are trapped in their frat boys days and can't let go of that lifestyle.



We were in the same position you are now - good careers and no desire to change. Then we realized our lives were missing something. And then we found out we couldn't have children. And now it's a bit too late for us to do anything about it. Sure there's complex medical procedures but we both have ethical qualms against that; and adoptions is a "seller's market", that is to say demand outpaces supply such that there's a huge amount of hoops, time, and cost associated with it.

At this point, we try to use the freedom we have in altruistic ways - helping others, serving the church, etc. But, there's a parts of each of us that hasn't grown up. Parenting seems to instil a selflessness and patience that neither one of us has fully developed.


Now, go watch Idiocracy. No really, watch it because it's funny with a tinge of truth behind it.

MANY people don't have what it takes to be parents or recognize their selfishness or don't have parental instinct or whatever you wish to call it. Bravo to them for not succumbing to societal pressure to be "normal" and not have children! Fathering children is easy, ask any of millions of Obama voters. Being a parent isn't for lightweights.

Bravo to anyone that chooses to not have children vs someone that caves to pressure without the backbone to do it right.

 

[churchmouse]

Hey, off topic, but did INGO get hacked? The same thread is all over the board right now. I am afraid to open it.

Something about "Buy novelty....."

Oops, double post. Sorry.

Spammer is toast. Bill of rights got him.

 

[femurphy77]

Spammer is toast. Bill of rights got him.

Mmmmm, fried spam on toast! Throw in a slice of swiss and you've got a meal!

 

[JetGirl]

I hit SnappyD with reppage, too... "nosey ****er" made me laugh.

Currently, I'm choosing to not have grandkids.

 

[bmbutch]

Never have been that great with kids. At47, when my 10-month old grandson crawls over to paw-paw, with that silly, big ole smile, well life just can't get any better.

My oldest son was tough kid to raise, times I had to pray for hours God would touch him, or I was going to choke the $&!& out of him, but @ 25, he's been married for a couple years, & gave me my first grandchild, referenced above. I see a lot of him in him, this is going to fun.........

Still your choice, I respect either way.....

 

[Snapdragon]

I respect your choice. It is your's and no one else's.
My post was from my perspective. I understand yours.

I wasn't responding to you, per se, CM. I'm getting ready for the Meet & Shoot in Winamac and didn't actually read all of the posts. The first few were enough to inspire me to reply.

And thanks to you and BA (and also JG) for the reppage.

And since it's not all about me-- to the OP. You are not crazy, and you and your wife don't need to justify your decision to anyone. Don't give in unless your feelings about the issue change first.

 

[churchmouse]

Never have been that great with kids. At47, when my 10-month old grandson crawls over to paw-paw, with that silly, big ole smile, well life just can't get any better.

My oldest son was tough kid to raise, times I had to pray for hours God would touch him, or I was going to choke the $&!& out of him, but @ 25, he's been married for a couple years, & gave me my first grandchild, referenced above. I see a lot of him in him, this is going to fun.........

Still your choice, I respect either way.....

My referenced son led me near murder more than once. His mom saved him both times. I am glad she did.
If for these reasons only I can see someone not wanting this pain in their lives......but look at my avatar. That makes up for most of it.

 

[Benny]

If you don't think you should have kids, then you probably shouldn't. You aren't crazy or selfish.

Kids aren't for everyone. Tell anyone being critical to go pound sand.

 

[churchmouse]

I wasn't responding to you, per se, CM. I'm getting ready for the Meet & Shoot in Winamac and didn't actually read all of the posts. The first few were enough to inspire me to reply.

And thanks to you and BA (and also JG) for the reppage.

And since it's not all about me-- to the OP. You are not crazy, and you and your wife don't need to justify your decision to anyone. Don't give in unless your feelings about the issue change first.

No worries SD-II....I see all sides to this issue.
I am jealous...no time for Winimac.

 

[bobzilla]

And since it's not all about me-- to the OP. You are not crazy, and you and your wife don't need to justify your decision to anyone. Don't give in unless your feelings about the issue change first.

This right here. Wife jus turned 40, I'll be 39 this year. We decided that kids were not for us. We've dealt with those "nosey ****ers" and being told that we'll "change our minds" or that "we'll regret it as we're old" or my personal favorite from the mother in law: "Who will take care of you when you're old?" Seriously? The only reason you have kids is to have someone to take care of you when you're old? WTF?

It's a personal choice but don't ever let some damn breeder try to guilt you into having kids for whatever twisted reasoning they use. If you want kids and are willing to make the sacrifice for the rest of your life to be a part of their life, great for you. Some of us aren't.

 

[churchmouse]

Damn Breeder....Really.....

 

[GodFearinGunTotin]

I hit SnappyD with reppage, too... "nosey ****er" made me laugh.

Currently, I'm choosing to not have grandkids.

I didn't even know that was an option.

 

[Cemetery-man]

Nice that you are allowed to have that opinion thanks to your parents who chose to be "damn breeders"!

 

[Benny]

Damn Breeder....Really.....

There are douche bags on both sides of the fence.

 

[JetGirl]

I didn't even know that was an option.

My fingers are still crossed with that one.

 

[Expat]

Being a Grandpa is the absolute greatest thing in the world. My daughter has given me two. My son zero. Guess which one I like the best now?