abusive spouse + divorce + leaving home + guns

[Gluemanz28]

Kuddos to Jedi for helping a friend in need. I hope and pray that that Jane can get help before things get worse because they will. John has a sickness and needs professional help. I also hope that no abuse has been witnessed by the children, if it has that will be bad for John and something the children with need help coping with.

 

[indyjohn]

Jedi-

A Restraining Order is a court document, not a shield. Not knowing the difference can be fatal.

The correct next steps take some planning; it goes like this: Your friend needs to file a complaint, then an RO. Then she needs to quickly gather up the kids & leave immediately and plan on not ever coming back. She needs to go to a shelter for women & children that specialize in this kind of social crime. She is at great risk and she shouldn't take it lightly. Nor should you.

Best of luck. God bless her & the children.

 

[1861navy]

The best advice has already been given. I hope things turn out alright for "jane" and the kids.

 

[Harleyrider_50]

Kuddos to Jedi for helping a friend in need. I hope and pray that that Jane can get help before things get worse because they will. John has a sickness and needs professional help. I also hope that no abuse has been witnessed by the children, if it has that will be bad for John and something the children with need help coping with.

Whut John needs.......is a tall tree.....an'a short piece o' rope...........

 

[churchmouse]

Whut John needs.......is a tall tree.....an'a short piece o' rope...........

Yeah buddy.

 

[Harleyrider_50]

Yeah buddy.

Works in my world.....
baaaad situation 'at chic's in......an' the young'ns compound it, greatly..........

 

[churchmouse]

Works in my world.....
baaaad situation 'at chic's in......an' the young'ns compound it, greatly..........

If she has been a stay at home mom with no attachment to the working world she is double screwed and the A$$hat abuser knows it.
To get a decent job to support 4 kids will be really hard. Starting from scratch is why a lot of woman return to the abusive relationship. They can not climb the hill in front of them. How does a none working female with 4 kids start fresh. That is beyond a daunting task.

 

[Harleyrider_50]

If she has been a stay at home mom with no attachment to the working world she is double screwed and the A$$hat abuser knows it.
To get a decent job to support 4 kids will be really hard. Starting from scratch is why a lot of woman return to the abusive relationship. They can not climb the hill in front of them. How does a none working female with 4 kids start fresh. That is beyond a daunting task.

.....Agree on all points......an' it blows fer her, an'em kids......

They was a time.....when the men.....in'a family......would take care this kind'a shizz......know whut I mean ?......

 

[churchmouse]

.....Agree on all points......an' it blows fer her, an'em kids......

They was a time.....when the men.....in'a family......would take care this kind'a shizz......know whut I mean ?......

Yes I do.
Those men are few and far between these days. PC has neutered them.

 

[CountryBoy19]

Yes I do.
Those men are few and far between these days. PC has neutered them.

I don't know that it's solely the men that have been neutered, it's also the legal climate. There once was a time when law enforcement would turn a blind eye to a men stepping in and taking care of things like this (to a certain extent). I don't know that a man can count on that anymore; therefore a man that does step in and take care of business may end up in hot water himself. I don't think many men would jeopardize their future and the future of their families to try to help a woman/family if the woman isn't also willing to help herself...

I hope this isn't being mis-construed. Just trying to point out that there are many real men left in this world, but many of them have their hands tied...

 

[Brian Ski]

If she has been a stay at home mom with no attachment to the working world she is double screwed and the A$$hat abuser knows it.
To get a decent job to support 4 kids will be really hard. Starting from scratch is why a lot of woman return to the abusive relationship. They can not climb the hill in front of them. How does a none working female with 4 kids start fresh. That is beyond a daunting task.

Triple screwed when she does not have a family to fall back on. A shelter is good for a while but will not last long. She needs a good set of friends and the back bone to not go back.

 

[Harleyrider_50]

I don't know that it's solely the men that have been neutered, it's also the legal climate. There once was a time when law enforcement would turn a blind eye to a men stepping in and taking care of things like this (to a certain extent). I don't know that a man can count on that anymore; therefore a man that does step in and take care of business may end up in hot water himself. I don't think many men would jeopardize their future and the future of their families to try to help a woman/family if the woman isn't also willing to help herself...

I hope this isn't being mis-construed. Just trying to point out that there are many real men left in this world, but many of them have their hands tied...

I'a jus'.......leave 'is here for ya.......

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vSo8D59bFJI





Sum sh**stain ever pull'at crap on MY girl.....MY daughter...?....well I rec'n I'a make the news........

 

[churchmouse]

I don't know that it's solely the men that have been neutered, it's also the legal climate. There once was a time when law enforcement would turn a blind eye to a men stepping in and taking care of things like this (to a certain extent). I don't know that a man can count on that anymore; therefore a man that does step in and take care of business may end up in hot water himself. I don't think many men would jeopardize their future and the future of their families to try to help a woman/family if the woman isn't also willing to help herself...

I hope this isn't being mis-construed. Just trying to point out that there are many real men left in this world, but many of them have their hands tied...

Yes. So true.
I have history in this. SIL and a sister were being abused. Not going any deeper but times have changed so much. Again....PC will be the end of us.

 

[Hookeye]

Yup, some women stay in abusive relationships.
And many who leave, pick another loser.
But some women who make claims of abuse, are complete liars..............and some good guys have had a heck of a legal mess.

Indiana shouldn't be a "no fault" state.

And those that make up lies in court, when it's discovered, should be punished.......severely. Judges and attorneys can have a field day with whoever they want to subject to their nonsense. Heck, the "winner" or "loser" is often determined over which lawyer bought lunch, or missed a putt last week.

 

[T.Lex]

Others have touched on this, but she should consider shooting him in self defense the next time he might get abusive. Would be great if there's a history of runs to the house or hospital visits, but it isn't really necessary. Even with a divorce, their lives will be tied together and he probably won't be any less angry a month, a year, or 5 years after the divorce.

Nary a prosecutor in the land will successfully pursue charges against her in that situation.

Caveat: this is a comment on self defense and my experience with Indiana prosecutor's interest (or lack thereof) in prosecuting cases involving domestic violence. I'm not advocating any pre-meditated action, other than preparing to use self defense.

Matthew Eric Wrinkles #1188

 

[Trigger Time]

Get this guy locked up. Video evidence, 911 calls, an arrest on file. And as mentioned follow it through!!!! Worst case scenario since there's kids involved, is self defense. But if her life is in danger I wouldn't rule that out as an option. For goodness sakes get out of there with those kids and yourself (typing as I'm speaking to the woman). Don't stay!!!!

 

[CHCRandy]

Jane needs to take self defense class and arm herself. PO don't mean squat. If he wants to kill her, he will...........unless she defends herself. I mean after all....schools have signs that say no guns allowed.

I knew a guy who walked in to his dinner table about 10 years ago, after his wife filed for divorce, and shot her with his kids sitting at the table........a screwed up mind is nothing to mess with. This guy was successful, owned his own company, wasn't a drunk or doper.....

It's not near NWI......but Sheltering Wings maybe can help her.

Sheltering Wings | Haven - Home - Hope

 

[Baditude]

Jane needs to think about her kids and safety first. If she does not act and file charges, then she will get more of the same. If CPS were to find out, they will take those kids and rightfully so. Also she would be able to keep the house, car and get paid child support.

 

[jedi]

Thank you all for your help and info.
I'm still very concern and don't recall who said it but it looks like this won't go well.
I gave Jane all the info and she told my family that she was aware of St. Jude as she was there a week last year before going back to him.
***SIGH***
On the bright side divorce papers were filed today.
Please prayer for her.

 

[churchmouse]

Thank you all for your help and info.
I'm still very concern and don't recall who said it but it looks like this won't go well.
I gave Jane all the info and she told my family that she was aware of St. Jude as she was there a week last year before going back to him.
***SIGH***
On the bright side divorce papers were filed today.
Please prayer for her.

Already in my prayers.