well said and I've experienced the same thing, although I rarely take out my carry weapon, and if i do, it is generally for about 3 people...all of which i shoot with.
Personally though, I feel like the question of "are you carrying" or "do you have a gun on you right now" is incredibly rude. first off, the person that just asked you the question has essentially "made" you to every person in the room. now, you are uncomfortable because all of your cards are shown to every person there. second, it brings unwanted attention to something that you are concealing for a reason in the first place. If you wanted the attention on your gun, you would be OCing. third, in my opinion, discussing guns in a room full of mixed company is like talking about politics or abortion...it just shouldn't be done unless you know everyone's view on the subject in the room...and even then, it might not be what you expected. As a general rule though, if someone pulls the old "are you carrying right now" question on me in a group, I will say "no" and later they will be asked politely never to ask said question again in mixed company.
My
I also think it's rude to ask someone if you can fondle their piece.
If they wanted you touching it, they would have offered.
Just like people asking if they can drive your car or whatever else. If it's not yours, don't touch it.