Who ate my food?!

[hoosierdoc]

Typical office discussion here: you bring in a brand spanking new box of toaster strudel's to work, eat 2/6 of them and place the rest in the freezer in the break room. The next day, you go for pastries #3 and #4 only to find them missing, and #5 and #6 claim they didn't see anything suspicious and have no idea where the other two are.

Do you:
1) roundhouse to the chest until someone vomits strawberry filling?
2) punish the remaining pastries by roasting them alive
3) eat a bite out of every remaining lunch in the fridge
4) call the police and report pastry larceny
5) pull out your sidearm and shoot two "warning shots" into the air from your first floor breakroom
6) other

Note: these are not mutually exclusive. I didn't want a poll, I wanted discussion and smilie emoticons.

 

[OneBadV8]

bring in more toaster strudels that are "tainted" maybe just with a diuretic

 

[hoosierdoc]

bring in more toaster strudels that are "tainted" maybe just with a diuretic

Yeah, I thought about inserting a fake roach or something into one and see who screamed. Intentional poisoning could be frowned upon. The diuretic would probably show me the perp too though.

Remember that M*A*S*H episode where they spiked something and the person complaining of discolored urine was the culprit? I can't remember the exact plot though.

 

[Nightwalker65]

Call in the FCSI(Freezer CSI) track down the missing pastries and/or the pastrynapper,and deal with them with extreme prejudiceThere's not a jury in the world that would convict

 

[SEIndSAM]

It may have been an urban legend, but 20 years ago I heard a story at a factory I was working in. A guy always has chocolate covered peanuts in his locker at work, when he gets tired of opening his locker to find them gone, he comes up with a plan. Over the weekend he covers several dozen pieces of rabbit poop (from his daughter 4-H rabbit) with chocolate and leaves them in his locker. At the end of the shift, when he finds them missing, he announces what he has done. The one's that turn green of rush to the mens room are the culprits.

Seriously, someone did you a favor. Have you ever looked at what's inside those things???

 

[hoosierdoc]

Seriously, someone did you a favor. Have you ever looked at what's inside those things???

He's got the crazy eyes, and he knows what you said!

 

[Dirc]

Put them in these from now on.

 

[printcraft]

Open the box in front of everyone in the office
and take each TS out and lick it.
Place back in box and place in freezer.

 

[Ragenarok007]

Put a pornographic image inside the box and see who complains to HR.

Leave one in the urinal for a day in the wrapper then loudly announce that you have replaced it into the box. Which one? IDK.

Sit and inject an unknown substance into one through the wrapper.

Go around laughing and making jokes about how someone got the tainted one. Mention that its incurable and that they will find out soon enough and have a hard time explaining it to their spouse.

 

[ATOMonkey]

Lace them with Silver Nitrate.

It's relatively benign, but leaves indellible marks on the culprits hands.

- It also takes a while for the nitrate to turn the fingers black, so they won't know they've been caught at first.

 

[RockofStrength]

Inject a very small amount of syrup of ipecac

 

[XMil]

Open the box in front of everyone in the office
and take each TS out and lick it.
Place back in box and place in freezer.

I saw a similar discussion once, where someone was tired of people drinking their Cokes. They put a sticker on one that said "I spit in this".

When they went back for it, there was another sticker that said, "So did I".

 

[eldirector]

Funny story:

My wife worked in a gastroenterologist's office for *years*. One of her coworkers had a bad habit of helping herself to whatever was in the fridge. So, the other girls mixed up some of the colonoscopy prep solution with some strong lemonade, and left it in the fridge. They next day, a certain someone spent many hours in the bathroom. She was a tad more careful about what she took from the kitchen after that.

The other solution? Don't keep your personal food in the break room. That's just me, though.

 

[braz007]

That is terrible... I recently (about a year ago), put a fridge, a personal coffee maker (the office coffee is always terrible), and a cabinet for a small pantry in my office. Now the only thing I use the kitchenette for is the sink and microwave (which I would have my own if I came across a smallish one for cheap).

Re-reading my above post, it seems that I don't play well with others...

 

[sepe]

Have you thought of firebombing the building?

 

[Kase]

Lace them with Silver Nitrate.

It's relatively benign, but leaves indellible marks on the culprits hands.

- It also takes a while for the nitrate to turn the fingers black, so they won't know they've been caught at first.

 

[MrsXtremeVel]

I caught a co-worker getting into my Peppermint Mocha coffee creamer one morning. I had wrote, " Use at your own risk" on it. She was smelling it when I walked in. I thought I'd cleverly hid it in the back of the fridge. She said, " I wonder if it is bad?" I said, " No, but if you want to keep your hand, you'll put it back." Then, I proceeded to tell her it was mine. Never had another problem after that.

 

[Arm America]

Record the dastardly cheap skate with one of those hidden buttons
the perverts use in the girly locker rooms.

Then post the video on You tube. Problem solved.
(singing) "Chestnuts roasting on an open fire"

 

[.452browning]

you could always do what my brother did. someone kept eating his lunch at work and nobody would fess up to it. so he went home one night and decided to fix the ultimate sandwich for the next day. he put it on whole wheat bread with lettuce, tomato, bacon, pickles, condements, and in the middle.....a nice hard litter covered cat turd. the next day he came to the fridge at lunch to discover the thief stole his cat turd sandwich. again, no one fessed up to it. but no one ever stole his lunch again.

 

[sepe]

Record the dastardly cheap skate with one of those hidden buttons
the perverts use in the girly locker rooms.

Then post the video on You tube. Problem solved.
(singing) "Chestnuts roasting on an open fire"

So umm...weird question but where do you get these and do they have HD capable?