What a vasectomy is really like

[Hoosierdood]

Found this on the Best of Craigslist. Guy goes into great detail to describe the Big V. I can testify to the fact that the whole time it feels like someone just kicked you in the junk. My wife was there for mine and the Dr. kept saying "Hey come take a look at this" and cracking jokes at me.

Note: 2-3 NSFW words in the posting.

best of craigslist: What a Vasectomy is Really Like

 

[hoosierdoc]

a partner of mine had it done by a urologist in a combo supply room/spare exam room. The guy asked if he'd had his sedative that morning but it was never called in so he didn't take it. After the procedure he told my partner he was retiring because his vision is getting so poor now. Heh.

I saw a guy who played a round of golf the same day after his vasectomy. HUGE hematoma in the scrotum. D'oh.

 

[SEIndSAM]

Yeah, your Urologist will tell you that it doesn't hurt. They are all lying S.O.B.'s.

 

[IndyDave1776]

There was a hillbilly who realized that he could not support any more than the 9 children he already had, so he went to teh doctor for a vasectomy. The doctor told him it would cost $1500, which, of course, he could not afford. The hillbilly said, "Doc, I just can't afford that. Is there anything cheaper I can do?" The doctor said, "Well, yes there is. Go get a cherry bomb and an empty beer can. Light the cherry bomb and put it in the can, and then count to ten while you are holding the can." The hillbilly said is shock "That will really work?" The doctor replied, "I guarantee you won't have any more children."

He went home, picked up an empty beer can and a cherry bomb and followed the instructions and was holding the can with the lit cherry bomb as he counted (on his fingers) from one to five--then he had a problem. Thinking quickly, he held the can between his legs as he continued counting on his fingers to ten. The doctor was right that he wouldn't be having any more children!

 

[shemp01]

A tattoo artist will tell you the same thing......LIAR!

 

[Hoosierdood]

I drove myself home from Valparaiso (a 45 minute drive) when I had mine. Spent the next 3 days getting real friendly with a bag of frozen peas.

 

[Hookeye]

Check for a vas on both sides. If you can't find one get an Xray done BEFORE you go in for the surgery. If not the clown might go exploratory and damage a lot of nerves, and cause an inguinal hernia on top of that.

Lightning storms in the groin, plus any activity was like getting slammed with a steel bar, of course your buds are in a friggin' glowing frying pan when getting "smashed".

Yup, 3 yrs of that crap, then "pop" and the pain dropped 50% immediately, then slowly ebbed. 3 friggin years of that...........every day, all day. Married to a size 1 turbo prop too. Brutal aint even close to describing the pain.

Only saving grace was the constant aspect of the pain. You get used to it, but man does it kill your activity level. No mountain biking or running, feel like crap all the time. Gain a few pounds.

Healed fine, eventually. But a wicked 3 yrs.

Do the check.

You've been warned.

 

[Hookeye]

Hell I thought my pain was from me being a sissy (even with garden hose abdomen swelling from guts hanging out). It was next day and stepkid couldn't get the mower started, so I hopped off the couch and got it going, mowed the yard.

I never slowed down on normal activities, I was in agony no matter what. Just didn't do anything crazy.

No swelling or discoloration whatsoever. Just incredible amount of pain, plus those "lightning storms"..............several times a day for 1st yr, then maybe a couple of times a week for the next 2. They'd make me sweat, squeeze the juices out of chair arms.........even oak ones. Yeah.

Wild friggin' ride man.

Again, get the check before you trust some hack.

1 in 5000 missing a vas. Don't let the butcher make you a learning experience.

FWIW there is some acronym for preemie babies, missing vas can be indicative of a missing kidney, missing kidney/related being represented by one letter of the acronym.

 

[gunman41mag]

I just pull out when I feel that tickling sensation, don't need to be cut on

 

[littletommy]

Man, I lucked out I guess, the DR gave me a prescription for pain meds, but I never used it. Did use the frozen peas thing, though, and beer.

 

[Caldad]

Eighteen years ago, my doctor (with over 30 yrs experience) informed me that he had only seen one other person that the numbing meds didn't work on... of course I had to be number two.

I think he thought I was lying until he cauterized (which I couldn't see... all skirted off down there), and after almost leaping off the table in the middle of the procedure he knew I was serious. The procedure took three times longer than it was supposed to... the nurse kept me going with smelling salts, and when it was done, and I went out to the waiting room, my wife said my face was the same green color as split pea soup. That was not a fun day!

I knew the doctor was good, because several other people I knew, that had the surgery, recommended him... it wasn't his fault. I guess some of the numbing meds just don't work on some people. I think bamboo under my finger nails for a few hours would have been more pleasant.

 

[gunman41mag]

i'll take my chances with paying child support

 

[Mini-14]

Had mine a few yrs ago..Pc of cake!

 

[hornadylnl]

My wife said I had to get it done because I didn't want another kid and she didn't want to be on the pill forever. I got it done and got cleared on the followups. She went off the pill and started having female problems and went back on the pill shortly after.

 

[littletommy]

i'll take my chances with paying child support

No, I've been dealing with those idiots for the last 9 years, I'd take a kick in the nuts over dealing with them ever again. Drooling stupid people!

 

[indytechnerd]

heh, that dude certainly didn't see my doctor. Worst part of my experience was driving to Scottsburg to get a doc that was in network (lovely work insurance at the time). The guy I had was an old Navy doc from Vietnam era. He told me that he surmised he'd done more than 5000 snips in his 30 years of doctoring, and suspected he could do one by feel alone. I took his word for it, and told him I would not be his test case.

 

[Clay]

I've posted this here before somewhere, oh here it is:

https://www.indianagunowners.com/fo...l_i_am_now_unable_to_reproduce_hopefully.html

I said it then, and I still say it...... little to no pain during the procedure. The only pain was the first numbing shot, and that was just a pinch. After that, they could have set my junk on fire and I wouldn't know.

I just followed the docs orders to the letter, took the Tylenol-3 he for the first 1.5 days, and everything was golden.

 

[PapaScout]

Man, I lucked out I guess, the DR gave me a prescription for pain meds, but I never used it. Did use the frozen peas thing, though, and beer.

This. Dr Grey in Martinsville did mine about 10 years ago. Never used the pain meds and just took it easy for a few days.

 

[Hoosierdood]

I sat on the table and the Dr. and nurse walked in. He started making small talk before getting to the task at hand. He then compared my anatomy to his 5 year old girl's purse that she carries around. (thanks) He only made one incision, and it wasn't really that bad once I was numb. The worst part was when he pulled the tubes through the incision so that my wife could get a good look. He kept tugging on it commenting about how it looked like spaghetti. Every time he tugged on it it felt like someone was kicking me in the junk. I told him that, and he just laughed.

Recovery was nothing. Never took any pain pills, very little bruising, just kept switching bags of peas. Everything was fully functional in 3 days.

BTW, he never removed any section of tube. He left everything connected but just cauterized the tubes so they wouldn't work. It's held up for 7 years.

 

[PeaShooter]

I said it then, and I still say it...... little to no pain during the procedure. The only pain was the first numbing shot, and that was just a pinch. After that, they could have set my junk on fire and I wouldn't know.

The part where they numb the tubes was the worst. Felt like getting a knife in my gut. The second was worse than the first because I knew to expect it!