Things to do while in a public restroom...

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  • mikea46996

    Shooter
    Rating - 0%
    0   0   0
    Jan 28, 2009
    1,750
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    Winamac
    Things to do in the bathroom stall...

    1. Stick your palm open under the stall wall and ask your neighbor, "May I borrow a highlighter?"

    2. Say "Uh oh, I knew I shouldn't put my lips on that."

    3. Cheer and clap loudly every time somebody breaks the silence with a bodily function noise.

    4. Say, "Hmmm, I've never seen that color before."

    5. Drop a marble and say, "oh shoot!! My glass eye!!"

    6. Say "Darn, this water is cold."

    7. Grunt and strain real loud for 30 seconds and then drop a cantaloupe into the toilet bowl from a high place six to eight feet. Sigh relaxingly.

    8. Say, "Now how did that get there?"

    9. Say, "Humus. Reminds me of humus."

    10. Fill up a large flask with Mountain Dew. Squirt it erratically under the stall walls of your neighbors while yelling, "Whoa! Easy boy!!"

    11. Say, "Interesting....more sinkers than floaters.

    12. Using a small squeeze tube, spread peanut butter on a wad of toilet paper and drop it under the stall wall of your neighbor. Then say, "Whoops, could you kick that back over here, please?"

    13. Say. "C'mon Mr. Happy! Don't fall asleep on me!!"

    14. Say, "Boy, that sure looks like a maggot"

    15. Say, "Darn, I Knew that drain hole was a little too small. Now what am I gonna do?"

    16. Play a well known drum cadence over and over again on your butt cheeks.

    17. Before you unroll toilet paper, conspicuously lay down your "Cross-Dressers Anonymous" newsletter on the floor visible to the adjacent stall.

    18. Lower a small mirror underneath the stall wall and adjust it so you can see your neighbor and say, "Peek-a-boo!"

    19. Drop a D-cup bra on the floor under the stall wall and sing "Born Free"

    20. When you're in a bathroom stall take a Snickers candy bar with you and when someone is next to you, squish it in your hand and reach under the stall wall and say "You got any more toilet paper over there, This side's completely out."
     

    Jack Ryan

    Shooter
    Rating - 0%
    0   0   0
    Nov 2, 2008
    5,864
    36
    Things to do in the bathroom stall...

    1. Stick your palm open under the stall wall and ask your neighbor, "May I borrow a highlighter?"

    2. Say "Uh oh, I knew I shouldn't put my lips on that."

    3. Cheer and clap loudly every time somebody breaks the silence with a bodily function noise.

    4. Say, "Hmmm, I've never seen that color before."

    5. Drop a marble and say, "oh shoot!! My glass eye!!"

    6. Say "Darn, this water is cold."

    7. Grunt and strain real loud for 30 seconds and then drop a cantaloupe into the toilet bowl from a high place six to eight feet. Sigh relaxingly.

    8. Say, "Now how did that get there?"

    9. Say, "Humus. Reminds me of humus."

    10. Fill up a large flask with Mountain Dew. Squirt it erratically under the stall walls of your neighbors while yelling, "Whoa! Easy boy!!"

    11. Say, "Interesting....more sinkers than floaters.

    12. Using a small squeeze tube, spread peanut butter on a wad of toilet paper and drop it under the stall wall of your neighbor. Then say, "Whoops, could you kick that back over here, please?"

    13. Say. "C'mon Mr. Happy! Don't fall asleep on me!!"

    14. Say, "Boy, that sure looks like a maggot"

    15. Say, "Darn, I Knew that drain hole was a little too small. Now what am I gonna do?"

    16. Play a well known drum cadence over and over again on your butt cheeks.

    17. Before you unroll toilet paper, conspicuously lay down your "Cross-Dressers Anonymous" newsletter on the floor visible to the adjacent stall.

    18. Lower a small mirror underneath the stall wall and adjust it so you can see your neighbor and say, "Peek-a-boo!"

    19. Drop a D-cup bra on the floor under the stall wall and sing "Born Free"

    20. When you're in a bathroom stall take a Snickers candy bar with you and when someone is next to you, squish it in your hand and reach under the stall wall and say "You got any more toilet paper over there, This side's completely out."

    Not a pipefitter, plumber, or maintenance person of any kind I take it.
     
    Rating - 100%
    10   0   0
    May 19, 2008
    1,836
    38
    Indian-noplace
    In Jr. High football camp, we had a guy put a snickers bar in his hand and melt it under the hand dryer.

    He then proceeded into the stall. When all of us boys came in after him from practice, he got out of the stall with it all over his hand asking people for a wipe.....
     

    Scutter01

    Grandmaster
    Rating - 100%
    2   0   0
    Mar 21, 2008
    23,750
    48
    Pretty sure I didn't just curse (again) by thinly disguising it behind slightly altered spelling. :rolleyes:
     

    Bubba

    Expert
    Rating - 0%
    0   0   0
    Apr 10, 2009
    1,141
    38
    Rensselaer
    A tiny but highly visible fraction of truck drivers are... less than fastidious when it comes to personal hygiene. Finding soiled underwear stashed in corners or splattered feces is a not-uncommon event. One of my employees in particular, John, finds this truly offensive. Don't get me wrong, he's one of my best, but his ceaseless * would be annoying if he weren't so * funny about it. He was recently named Employee of the Month, so to celebrate he became the target of the best April Fools' Day prank I've ever had the pleasure to see in person, much less participate in.

    We've been planning for two days on how to get him. After a great deal of plotting, it happened like this: A coworker, LeAnne, brought in a pair of well-used (but washed) of her boyfriends tighty-whities and a can of chocolate cake frosting. Our computer system tracks which showers are being cleaned and which are dirty, so while John was at lunch, we used the manager's override to open a shower without tipping off the computer. Leanne spread clumps of chocolate frosting on the sink and toilet, on a towel, and on a pair of dirty socks. As the piece de resistance, she put a huge glob in the undies and streaked them on the shower wall as if the dirty drawers had been hurled against the wall and left there. Just to push all John's buttons at once, we left the TP dispenser open as if it had been pried, shreaded some TP on the floor, and put a half-dozen booklets of "You're going to hell" type cartoons. The only thing lacking was the six pennies and a nickle as a tip.

    An hour passes. Two. It was a slow afternoon in the showers. Finally John starts cleaning. I happen to be walking down the hall and I hear John exclaim to another coworker "God D--- it! Look what those f----ing pigs did in shower #11! I'd like to find who did this and kill him! I'm leaving this for Robb to see."

    "Leave what for me?" I ask as I walk up, trying hard to keep a straight face. "What'd they do?"

    "Look at this mess! I swear these aren't people they're animals on two legs! Whoever thinks this is acceptable should be killed."

    John continues on this vein for awhile. LeAnne, our heroine, comes walking up and plays right along. Finally John gets frustrated and starts to walk away. LeAnne calls him back and, as he turns around, takes a lick of the frosting on the towel. John gets a semi-disgusted look on his face like he thinks he knows what he just saw but can't believe it. Feeling the need to be a bit more blunt, I take a fingerfull of frosting from the toilet seat (we cleaned everything well before laying the trap since we knew eating the frosting was going to be part of the prank). I held up the glob and said, "John it can't be that bad," and ate it.

    At this he practically keeled over. He gave a loud, disgusted yell and ran down the hall to get away. He came back a few minutes later so we could wish him April Fools etcetera. Of course after that, we had to arrange a huge parade of cashiers and managers (and one customer in another shower who wanted to know what was so funny) through the little shower room to see what we had done. I think John was the only one in the store who didn't know what we were planning for him...
    http://i176.photobucket.com/albums/w190/bobbyone64/n641469967_2353386_56005001.jpg
    http://i176.photobucket.com/albums/w190/bobbyone64/n641469967_2353389_21611791.jpg
    http://i176.photobucket.com/albums/w190/bobbyone64/n641469967_2353388_663871.jpg
    http://i176.photobucket.com/albums/w190/bobbyone64/n641469967_2353387_18014751.jpg
     
    Last edited by a moderator:

    theweakerbrother

    Grandmaster
    Rating - 100%
    3   0   0
    Mar 28, 2009
    14,319
    48
    Bartholomew County, IN
    A tiny but highly visible fraction of truck drivers are... less than fastidious when it comes to personal hygiene. Finding soiled underwear stashed in corners or splattered feces is a not-uncommon event. One of my employees in particular, John, finds this truly offensive. Don't get me wrong, he's one of my best, but his ceaseless * would be annoying if he weren't so * funny about it. He was recently named Employee of the Month, so to celebrate he became the target of the best April Fools' Day prank I've ever had the pleasure to see in person, much less participate in.

    We've been planning for two days on how to get him. After a great deal of plotting, it happened like this: A coworker, LeAnne, brought in a pair of well-used (but washed) of her boyfriends tighty-whities and a can of chocolate cake frosting. Our computer system tracks which showers are being cleaned and which are dirty, so while John was at lunch, we used the manager's override to open a shower without tipping off the computer. Leanne spread clumps of chocolate frosting on the sink and toilet, on a towel, and on a pair of dirty socks. As the piece de resistance, she put a huge glob in the undies and streaked them on the shower wall as if the dirty drawers had been hurled against the wall and left there. Just to push all John's buttons at once, we left the TP dispenser open as if it had been pried, shreaded some TP on the floor, and put a half-dozen booklets of "You're going to hell" type cartoons. The only thing lacking was the six pennies and a nickle as a tip.

    An hour passes. Two. It was a slow afternoon in the showers. Finally John starts cleaning. I happen to be walking down the hall and I hear John exclaim to another coworker "God D--- it! Look what those f----ing pigs did in shower #11! I'd like to find who did this and kill him! I'm leaving this for Robb to see."

    "Leave what for me?" I ask as I walk up, trying hard to keep a straight face. "What'd they do?"

    "Look at this mess! I swear these aren't people they're animals on two legs! Whoever thinks this is acceptable should be killed."

    John continues on this vein for awhile. LeAnne, our heroine, comes walking up and plays right along. Finally John gets frustrated and starts to walk away. LeAnne calls him back and, as he turns around, takes a lick of the frosting on the towel. John gets a semi-disgusted look on his face like he thinks he knows what he just saw but can't believe it. Feeling the need to be a bit more blunt, I take a fingerfull of frosting from the toilet seat (we cleaned everything well before laying the trap since we knew eating the frosting was going to be part of the prank). I held up the glob and said, "John it can't be that bad," and ate it.

    At this he practically keeled over. He gave a loud, disgusted yell and ran down the hall to get away. He came back a few minutes later so we could wish him April Fools etcetera. Of course after that, we had to arrange a huge parade of cashiers and managers (and one customer in another shower who wanted to know what was so funny) through the little shower room to see what we had done. I think John was the only one in the store who didn't know what we were planning for him...
    http://i176.photobucket.com/albums/w190/bobbyone64/n641469967_2353386_56005001.jpg
    http://i176.photobucket.com/albums/w190/bobbyone64/n641469967_2353389_21611791.jpg
    http://i176.photobucket.com/albums/w190/bobbyone64/n641469967_2353388_663871.jpg
    http://i176.photobucket.com/albums/w190/bobbyone64/n641469967_2353387_18014751.jpg


    And Jack Chick tracts on the counter! I think those might have been even scarier!
     
    Last edited by a moderator:

    Bubba

    Expert
    Rating - 0%
    0   0   0
    Apr 10, 2009
    1,141
    38
    Rensselaer
    I'll admit I missed the first one that Shooter nixed when I copy/pasted out of my FB, but female dogs are now profanity too (yes, I'm well aware that usage has nothing to do with canines)?:dunno:
     

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