The Parental advice thread.

[NordicHeathenVinlander]

As a Father, I've learned alot, something's through the hard lession of life.

I'd like to make a thread to help Parents, or soon to be parents.

My first advise

1). Use baby sign language to communicate with your young babies, it does help when there is a language gap.

2). Donate your baby clothes to family members or friends just having babies, it will save them a bunch!

I cannot stress these two enough.

 

[Ironjaw's-wife]

Never ever have beads in your house!!! they like to stick them up their little noses and you have to go to the neighbors to have them help you get it out!

 

[shooter521]

"Sleep when the baby sleeps." Best parental advice we ever got!

 

[clt46910]

Know that young children are fast and expect anything. Even if you are right there watching them all the time.

Listen to what your kids are talking about when they are talking to other kids.

Don't try to be their friend until they are grown. You are a parent first, not their friend.

 

[MrsGungho]

choose your battles.

 

[LYHTSPD]

1). Use baby sign language to communicate with your young babies, it does help when there is a language gap.

I might add my 2 cents in here. I recommend that you do NOT use "baby sign language". If you are going to learn to sign, it is in everyone's best interest to use ASL. That way even after your kids are grown, they can still communicate with someone that uses ASL. We did this with both our kids (and will with the one in the oven), and it has been a HUGE help. Our son is 3 now, but he did not start to talk until he was almost 2.5 years old. He knew ASL and could tell us what he wanted and how he felt, but the verbal skills were not there.

You will be amazed at what your baby/toddler can tell you even when they can not talk. I was surprised at how smart little kids are even if they can't speak. We still use ASL with our kids and it is great to be able to say "touch your brother again, and you well get the belt" without saying a word at a nice restaurant.

Oh, and a saying I have been known to use: "I don't care if you like me or not. Sometimes, I don't like you... but I will always love you."

 

[NordicHeathenVinlander]

Everytime my wife has been pregnant, we always attach the Ipod to the belly, and play classical music.

She's a Christian, so she also undoubtedly plays that music for them.

I believe it help soothes, not to mention gives them something which helps them remember (IMO).

My daughter still goes nuts when she hears this song.

[ame=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=b7HKktNbUCQ]YouTube - Denez Prigent & Lisa Gerrard Gortoz A Ran - J'attends videoclip - HQ audio[/ame]
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I have numerous family and friends across Europa. Some advise I've been given, is to give Omega3 fish oil, but only by certain brands, which practice a method of extracting the oil.

Omega3 is akin to Brain food.


I dont know how accurate any of it is, in a Scientific experiements, but my Daughter towers over 34 inches, and is well beyond her time in advancement - Only 15 months old, communicates in sign language, speaks several words, and phrases, understand instruction/ direction and command. And has been accepting potty training for sometime.
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I also believe in the No Fear, tough love policy. Basically, I dont over dramatize scratches, falls, bumps and bruises outwardly, though I am racing like a F16 Fighter pilot, internally.

This is not suggest, dont cuddle the children. Love is priceless, and love at a very early will set the standard for life.

Bonding by holding, rather than lying them down, reading a book, news paper anything will greatly benefit your child more so than anything in the near future.
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I also promote bilingual. Mainly for Heritage sake, but also for Job market competition.

Some Languages we work on

1). English
2). French
3). German
4). Celtic (Irish)

These will increase overtime to other languages, such as Spanish, and Farsee; Perhaps Egyptian Arabic.
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[stilllearning09]

No matter how busy you are, have at least one meal a day together at the dinner table.

 

[EvilElmo]

Don't baby your baby, or when they grow up they'll still be babies.

 

[Indy_Guy_77]

I appreciate the timing of this thread.

 

[TheLoneRaider]

 

[Fletch]

One hug can sometimes do the job of half a dozen spankings.

 

[Walter Zoomie]

Beatings. Threats of violence. Fear. Hugs. Repeat as necessary.

 

[Arm America]

Good topic with good advice.

Kids are like sponges, they will soak up whats around them.

I can't stress enough being a good role model.

As said before, be a parent until their old enough to vote.
Then you can build a friendship with them.

 

[WillBrayJr]

If you're thinking about having children and you're either poor, a drunk, or drug addict, save your tadpoles and eggs for when you're more responsible.

Don't let your children watch horror movies and give then access to dangerous items and tell them to go play. In my case it was a gas powered chainsaw.

Don't allow your children to have adult mags, not even "soft" mags like Easy Rider.

Don't allow your children to pitch a load in your neighbor's property as they won't like it.

Don't ground your children in a closed up room for several days at a time. This WILL cause issues with them down the road.

Allow your children to be interested in physical activities like sports, even if you don't approve.

IF you're child becomes a Bully do EVERYTHING in your power to get them to stop. Likewise if your child is being bullied, yank them out of school as soon as they tell you. Better safe than sorry. Investigate thoroughly and if they're telling the truth don't force them to attend that school anymore.

When you have children, they come FIRST. No exceptions.

Buy them appropriate clothing and enough. Don't expect your child to attend school with just one outfit, clothes that don't fit, or wrong gender. It's asking your child for trouble.

Don't allow your children to bring home dead animals to cut up and bury in your backyard.

If you catch your teenage child exploring themselves, let them and don't make them feel ashamed about it. Perfectly normal and I know you did it at that age too. Just the natural order of things.

When your child brings the boy/girlfriend home to meet you, don't poke fun of the boy/girlfriend no matter how fugly they are. My sister brought home some real winners in the looks department and she hates our biological mother because of those comments. As for me, I've been single my entire life. It's a long story, don't ask.

Don't get your child something for graduating a grade in school that costs a whopping $10 when you have alot more money because you're a cheapskate. Your child WILL know you're holding out and WILL hate your guts for it.


Okay, I'm done digging into my past for now.

 

[johnb62]

choose your battles.

+ 1 on that!

 

[Hotdoger]

Some things we have tried to do , our parents didn't:


Read to your kids every night. After they learn to read, have them read to you.
Any grade below a "b" is not acceptable.
Sports should not come ahead of excellent grades and family time.
Make them "work" from a young age.
Teach them the values of saving, spending, and charity.
Tell them repeatedly that borrowing money for anything other than a home is a poor choice!
Insist they are going to college from a young age.
Apply for every scholarship in the country.
College degress should be based on the field they will be employed in.

 

[Pami]

Any grade below a "b" is not acceptable.

I don't know that I'd agree with this one. Don't get me wrong - I maintained a B+ or better average in every school I've attended. However, the first time I got a C (9th grade Biology), I was so completely freaked out about it that I cried for two days straight, and my mom had to dig out her old report cards to show me all the Cs and Ds she got as a student.

The goals above are admirable, but just be sure you don't instill a fear of failure. I generally succeed at anything I put my mind to, but I found out because I'm a psychotic over-achiever, I have a real fear of failure. Consequently, I tend to not take many risks, even if the odds are that I'll succeed, just not brilliantly. Part of learning to succeed is learning to fail (and how to deal with failure appropriately).




Back to the advice:

Be there. Be there when they fall. Be there to help pick themselves back up. Be there to give them attention when they need it, even if they don't want it.
Let them fall.

 

[IndyMonkey]

be firm, be consistent.

If you want a friend go to a bar and buy a round of drinks.

 

[360]

I like the ASL suggestions. We have been teaching our 1 1/2 yr old to sign, and she does a very good job of communicating. Her vocabulary is about 30 "words", but she signs just as well. I have even had to learn to keep up.

It's amazing how quickly children pick things up. I wish I still had that ability.