So your kid comes homes in tears

[Zimm1001]

Here is the funny thing:
I grew faster than most kids in school. I hate bully's and always tried to protect others from bullying when I could. The funny thing is that years later at a reunion I found out the bully's thought I was a bully for not letting them bully others. Go figure.

 

[Kelevra TAR-21]

Here is the funny thing:
I grew faster than most kids in school. I hate bully's and always tried to protect others from bullying when I could. The funny thing is that years later at a reunion I found out the bully's thought I was a bully for not letting them bully others. Go figure.

//////////////////

So you were The Bully King

 

[Woodsman]

In Bartholomew County schools they get expelled for retaliation, no matter what. had an incident where my son came home briused in the kidney area,same kid for 3 days whacking him in the lunch line. never a call about going to the nurses office or anything from the teacher about the bruises. I ask my son what the peoblem is and he states that he is more afraid of getting in trouble at home than getting picked on by the bully, now that makes you feel like a turd. So the next day i went to the office,talked with the principal about the situation and was informed that they new about it and the little brat had missed 5 minutes of recess for the infraction. thats when my son and I had the talk,about not taking it from a bully, not to start but to finish and i explained to the principal that if my boy came back home with any more marks it would be handled against their policies. 2 days later my son fed the brat his lunch box, no more trouble and amazingly no phone call.
The polocies are to train kids like sheep from day 1. End rant.

Had a similar situation myself in HS. It was always the same group of guys led by one or two of the leaders. One day I got cold-cocked walking around a corner and the powers to be did nothing. The next time it was the other leader who felt he needed to earn his stripes. When the last one occurred I do not remember much beyond the original instigating event which ended with me being pulled off of him. That was the last time I had any problems with the entire group. They stayed away then.

Sometimes you just have to handle the situation yourself.

 

[chraland51]

Being nearly 60 years old, I am obviously from a more primitive generation where getting picked on by the older guys was just a rite of passage. As a freshman and sophomore on the JV football teams it was like running a gauntlet trying to get to the showers through the varsity locker room. You had to go through in numbers to make it in one piece. You usually got flipped with towels or held down to have Atomic Balm (a very potent linament) applied to your privates. The same, to a lesser degree, was true of the track team dressing room. I could not wait until it was my turn to be at the top of the heap. When I came, I took advantage of it. However, we did not do any of the crap with broom sticks that the carmel boys have been accused of. Underclassmen were not allowed to wear cream colored corduroy pants with or without the artwork. Underclassmen were not allowed to drink out of certain water fountains. Underclassmen were not allowed to pick on upperclassmen even if they could have kicked their butts. We were not predators. That was just how it was. A fight in the parking lot ended when someone's lip or nose bled or they surrendered. However, the underclassmen would be defended by the upperclassmen against the bullies that came from Norwell or Southern Wells high schools. That is just the way that it was in the late 60s at good ole Bluffton High School. I taught my son not to be a bully or to pick on those that were not as fortunate as him. However, when he was a teenager, I bought him two pairs of boxing gloves so that we could go out in the back yard and fight. I wanted him to know that you were going to be hit in a fight, but it should not deter you from defending yourself or running away with your tail tucked between your legs. Kids have to learn to defend themselves and not depend on parents or school administrators to protect them every minute of the day. I really do beleive that extreme bullying (physical, mental or even on the internet) should be prosecuted and the offenders should be punished. However, learning to take a few bumps here and there is just part of maturing. My son's mother, a very liberal democrap attorney once told him that when someone picks on you, you should stand up, look them straight in the eye and tell them that what they are doing is not nice. I told her that if he would do such a stupid thing, every kid on the block would line up to take a whack at him. I found it very amusing that as my son was growing up with her and in her opinion, I went from being a bad influence to the dominant male role model that he sorely needed.

 

[VaGriller]

I have 3 boys that will be in the same schools at the same time. We're set, bullies don't normally target somebody that has 2 brothers in the next classroom.

 

[Pale Rider]

I got picked on through middle school, came home from basketball practice complaing about it. My father's response was

"Either do something about it or quit complaining."

My response to his comment was to go to practice the next day and punch a kid square in the mouth who wouldn't let up, and I got popped myself. Never got messed with again. (the kid I punched became a starting LB at IU, he was the biggest kid on the team then) Worked out great.

However on the other side of things I have a parent who is a school administrator and know how serious fighting and bullying is to them and the other school staff. Seems like all the time I hear about kids getting suspended and parents called for stuff that was no big deal when I was that age.

My biggest issue is the parents on both ends. The bully's parents can rarely see that their child has done anything wrong. The parents of the child being bullied seem to always want the school to teach their kids about conflict resolution and communication skill etc. It all goes back to parenting and home environment in my opinion. If parents want to teach their kids that love is the only way then great. Jesus himself said in Matthew that loving your neighbor as yourself is the second greatest commandment. He also taught us to turn the other cheek. However, David squashed Goliath and cut off his head. I think the real answer is somewhere in between and what will work is dependant on each child and thier personality.

 

[ATOMonkey]

I tried standing up for myself. Got into more fights than I can remember. The only reason they stopped hitting me was because they didn't want to get in trouble. I was too small to ever win a fight against kids 2 and 3 years older than me. I was caught fighting 2 times, becasue I was standing up for myself, and got thrown into detention twice. Good times...

Even when the fighting eventually stopped, the name calling and mental abuse didn't. In fact it gained momentum.

I do remember one of the rednecks got into a 4 wheel accident and ended up in the hospital and it actually made me happy, because I felt justice was being served. I was practically giddy about the whole thing. Seeing him in that wheelchair with a halo made me grin from ear to ear. He wasn't even the worst one, but he was part of the group.

Now you tell me, is that a healthy mental condition for a young boy?

There are soooooo many times I've thought of killing myself and still do. My self esteem took a long long time to repair, and to this day it doesn't take a lot of send me into a suicidal depression.

Luckily I have always been close to God, or I probably would have ended it long ago.