I can't figure out how to change the situation with the wife. I would go with the M&P over the XD. I shot both at the range before I made a decision. Plus the M&P seemed easier to carry in my opinion
I am just like you. I was looking at the XD......went and shot one and left very disappointed. I shot the MP.....walked back in and said I'll take it. I did try a non-pro model too...but the Pro trigger was sooooooo much smoother....