Separating

[Leadeye]

Has anyone on here ever been married once......besides me? My wife and I married at 18 and 16....been together for 27 years. I can't imagine life without her! We did it old school......

I sometimes think modern families are doomed for failure. Mom and Dad both work like dogs....to give kids $ and future, reality is the kids would rather have mom and dad, not the money.

OP, Wishing you the best. Try to make it work.

Old school marriage for 35 years, two kids, one job, still works for me.

 

[gungirl65]

I will tell you one thing for sure since I am in the middle of a divorce myself: In Indiana the law is biased towards the woman.

I don't think it works like that anymore. At least not in Wayne Co. I think it depends on the attorneys involved.

I was paying my lawyer $200 an hour and did not receive any such advantage. If anything he treated me as if I didn't matter because I am a woman. He preferred to let bad things happen and then charge me crazy money to try to fix them. Once he burnt through almost $1,800 with few results, I fired him.

 

[Mr Evilwrench]

Well, now, I did get into a rebound, and it was [bad word] AWESOME; she did things that I'd never have dreamed of, and she did them well and frequently. Very frequently. While I was driving the car. Man, I have some good memories. The cop didn't even know there was more than one of us in there. Very frequently.

 

[brew45]

The kids change everything. I totally understand. I lost mine for several years due to them being used as leverage over me. It is not their fault but they will see it that way if things are not handled properly.
If she is already using them then get ready as this will become the norm from my experience.
Keep them in your heart and deal with them gently. It is so easy for emotions to come out during these times. Be the rock for them.
Nothing we say or suggest will make any of this easier for you and your children. Just protect yourself and be there for those baby's. They are all that matters.

Some of the best advice I've heard as of late, thank you Church.

 

[churchmouse]

Some of the best advice I've heard as of late, thank you Church.

From a damaged heart my friend. Once those baby's are hurt it is a hard thing to get past. My oldest would have been 44 this June. There is not a day goes by that I do not wish I had handled my situation better if only for him and his brothers.

 

[CindyE]

IMHO the one that wants to leave the relationship should be the one leaving the house.

If I was a judge...................

Depends why they want to leave.

 

[CindyE]

I will tell you one thing for sure since I am in the middle of a divorce myself: In Indiana the law is biased towards the woman.

Maybe in your situation, but not always. I was stupid when I got divorced (only 23 yrs old) and just wanted it over and done with, my heart was broken, it hurt too much, blah, blah. I didn't fight for hardly anything. I definitely could have.
Someone very close to me just went thru a nasty divorce. Husband is unstable, pulled all kinds of asinine stunts, even disobeying judge's orders, yet I would say the divorce did not go in her favor.

 

[churchmouse]

Maybe in your situation, but not always. I was stupid when I got divorced (only 23 yrs old) and just wanted it over and done with, my heart was broken, it hurt too much, blah, blah. I didn't fight for hardly anything. I definitely could have.
Someone very close to me just went thru a nasty divorce. Husband is unstable, pulled all kinds of asinine stunts, even disobeying judge's orders, yet I would say the divorce did not go in her favor.

Do not settle for just any attorney. Like mechanics/plumbers/Doctors some just suck at their jobs.

 

[Baditude]

If you PM me I can tell which attorneys I used and definitely would not recommend - I am on my 2nd, can't afford a 3rd

 

[hoosierdoc]

Do not settle for just any attorney. Like mechanics/plumbers/Doctors some just suck at their jobs.

I appreciate the proper noun usage

 

[Mr Evilwrench]

Child custody and child support are seriously f'd up in this state. Had a SIL that kind of accidentally signed over her custody rights during her divorce and couldn't convince the court to give them back. His father moved outside the acceptable radius and suffered no consequences. Had a father that was about $40k behind in support but we couldn't get any of it, even after spending about $6k with a lawyer that should've been able to shake it loose. The state would help us to the extent of telling us the balance. Bastiges. For that and other reasons, lawyers are not my favorite kind of person now.

 

[Hawkeye]

Has anyone on here ever been married once......besides me? My wife and I married at 18 and 16....been together for 27 years. I can't imagine life without her! We did it old school......

I sometimes think modern families are doomed for failure. Mom and Dad both work like dogs....to give kids $ and future, reality is the kids would rather have mom and dad, not the money.

OP, Wishing you the best. Try to make it work.

Been married to my first wife for going on 37 years now.