question for dads with daughters

[paintman]

My daughter will turn two in september and needless to say im very protective of her. My problem is that my brother ( when we are around him) is always up in her face kissing her and things like that. Which today he kissed her on the lips and i about came unglued. Ive never liked anyone other than my wife and i to be kissing her on the face and get that close to her but i have kept my mouth shut thus far. Just wondering what other think of this and what would you do. I dont want to start a fight but one day this will happen when im in a bad mood and things will get ugly. Any suggestions?

 

[joekoug]

I'd just be straight forward. My Wife's family does the whole kissing on the lips thing, and my family never did. Needless to say it creeps me out when her Mom tries to lay one on my lips.

 

[gungirl65]

I never liked anyone else kissing my children on the mouth either. I would politely ask them to reframe from doing that to prevent possibly exposing her immature immune system to any adult illnesses. That may not be your real reason but it is more polite than telling someone you think they might be a perv.

 

[Bunnykid68]

I have been kissing my niece on the lips and face since she was born, no biggie to me.

 

[Que]

As the parent, if you have a problem with it you should definitely say something. Sometimes people forget there is a line and they cross it. It's better to talk about it with a level head than wait for a time when you are upset.

 

[Naptown]

Be happy she has an uncle who is there to kiss her!

 

[Sylvain]

How can you think that it is creepy especially if it comes from your own brother?

 

[paintman]

Well my brother isnt exactly the most trust worthy person in the world. 90 percent of the time he is jobless and hooked on some Kind of drugs or pills. And i mean things that would be easy to transmit a disease. Just dont want to start a fight with him. He is also the type that really likes to fight and takes things out of context really easy. Just looking for some thought on how to go about it.

 

[PGRChaplain]

Explain you are really anal about Jerms so please don't kiss on the lips. Keeps everybody happy.

 

[TWalker]

Tell him to keep his herpes to himself. You are the parent you say how you want your child to be treated. I would add that following the advice of Que would be the method with the least amount of conflict. He's family just be up front about it. He should respect your wishes.

 

[hammer24]

She's your child, your rules. If he doesn't respect that and throws a fit then maybe it's worth a fight.
My siblings and I have always been pretty straight with one-another. I was/am very anal when it comes to germs and my son (especially when he was younger.) They thought I was crazy, until they had kids of their own.

 

[themadmedic]

As the parent, if you have a problem with it you should definitely say something. Sometimes people forget there is a line and they cross it. It's better to talk about it with a level head than wait for a time when you are upset.

Very well said!

 

[Bunnykid68]

I have to tell you if my brother or his wife told me this I would tell them both to kiss my ass, but as you say your brother has had a lot of troubles it is understandable

 

[Mackey]

You need to trust your instincts.
If your brother seeks out opportunities to be with the child alone you can bet there is a real problem.

 

[hammer24]

I have to tell you if my brother or his wife told me this I would tell them both to kiss my ass, but as you say your brother has had a lot of troubles it is understandable

Gotta tell you. If you were my brother, and I told you I didn't want you to do something with/ to MY child and you told me to kiss your ass then there WOULD be a fight, and that would be the last time you saw MY child for a LOOOOONG time.

 

[Bunnykid68]

Gotta tell you. If you were my brother, and I told you I didn't want you to do something with/ to MY child and you told me to kiss your ass then there WOULD be a fight, and that would be the last time you saw MY child for a LOOOOONG time.

Hope my brother never complains about me gettin kisses from my niece then

 

[kawtech87]

I dont have kids, But I have two nieces. I hug them and kiss them on the cheek or forehead.

Lip kisses I would have a problem with if they were my kids, so I dont do it to my brother's.

Some lines are best left uncrossed.

 

[Dargasonus]

My wife was raised that it was ok, I think it's creepy to kiss your kids on the lips. I tolerate it from her as a woman, but definitely would hold a double standard with a male. Thats creepy as hell.

 

[mrortega]

I love my kids and grandkids to death but I've never kissed any of them on the lips. I snuggle my grand babies and kiss them on the cheek or forehead. When they were little I'd pat them on the fanny while they hugged my legs. As they got older I just naturally didn't do that any more. The older ones get a great hug, kiss on the cheek and pats on the back. When they get older they also don't sit on my lap as they did when they were 4 or 5.

You just naturally know what is appropriate when you love them enough to give your life for them. You and they know what feels good and what isn't appropriate. Go with your instincts. If someone does something that creeps you out make it stop immediately.

 

[eldirector]

A) my wife's family does the whole "on the lips" thing, but mine doesn't. I got over it. My little girl smooches me now. Other then the slobber, I don't mind.
B) your family, your rules. Period. End of story. Set the boundary, use whatever "reason" you want (or none at all), and stick with it.

Another dad of a 2-year-old little girl here. Calling me "protective" is a slight understatement. My wife and I have set the rules for family and friends - and their feelings be damned. 99% of the time we have no issues, and we are actually pretty laid back on a lot of stuff. That other 1% may get some grief, but I (and my wife) have the final say. Period.