Phone spammers

[Scutter01]

I love messing with phone spammers. This was tonight's call:

Her: Hello, I'mwithBlahBlahBlahMarketResearchmayIpleasespeaktothemanofthehouse?

Me: Oh, great! Let me give you my rates. For opinion surveys, I charge $50 for the first five minutes, and then $25 for each additional five minutes. I am having a special this week, though. Until 6PM each night, I'm only charging $40 for the first five minutes, and it looks like you just squeaked in under the cut-off time! Now, I can take Visa or Mastercard. I can also do an EBT, but I'm afraid you'll have to call back after it's cleared. How will you be paying this evening?

Her: Uh...what? We don't pay anything.

Me: I don't understand. The company isn't paying you?

Her: Well, no, I get paid.

Me: Well, why is your time more valuable than mine? You don't give surveys for free, why should I answer them for free?

Her: Uh...can you hold on the line for just a second?

...

Her: *click*

Me:

 

[Mr.Lubie]

Lmao I'm gonna have to use that one

 

[Brandon]

that is awesome!

 

[Scutter01]

Sadly, I've never made a sale yet.


ANYTHING that derails them from their script is absolute entertainment gold. Protip: Small talk will not derail them. Once you take control of the conversation, they have no idea what to do.

 

[spasmo]

My daughter and I love to let him answer these calls. It's funny to listen.

 

[hornadylnl]

Is scutter really Tom Mabe?

 

[GodFearinGunTotin]

Sadly, I've never made a sale yet.

Maybe you're charging too much.

 

[Bunnykid68]

Had a collection agency call my house after my brother moved out.
They asked if my brother was there, I said he is no longer with us, they said sorry and hung up.

 

[hoosierdaddy1976]

Is scutter really Tom Mabe?

he can't be. mr. mabe was murdered some time ago
http://youtu.be/-7OgWcwgB50

 

[JetGirl]

When MiniJet was about two and lurrrved to talk on the phone (not much has changed), a telemarketer called and asked to speak to the person in the household who was responsible for the majority of the purchases made. I said, "sure" and handed the phone to MiniJ. I have no idea how long that lasted on the *other* end, but the littlest Jet was entertained for the better part of half an hour.

 

[Scutter01]

I keep a list of survey questions handy. Once you take control of the flow of the conversation, you can start asking them survey questions. I can usually get ten or twelve questions in before either they realize it or the supervisor monitoring the call realizes it. When you can make the supervisor yell at you, you know you've won. I've also done "Cash Cab". That one's all kinds of fun.

 

[JetGirl]

I keep a list of survey questions handy.

Post them up!

 

[pirate]

People still have land lines?

 

[sepe]

People still have land lines?

I get those calls on my cell phone and I don't sign up for anything using my phone as a way to contact me. I signed my phone number up for a emergency notification system through my local IU campus and I've been getting offers for student credit cards, trips to Vegas, sweepstakes to win Apple products, surveys, and some that I've forgotten. If I'm in the mood to play with them a bit, I'll have some fun...if not, I'll be a bit rude.

I get tons of spam texts from these same companies and I can't think of one single time that I've been polite. I really should be annoyed by the people that sold my number to advertisers but creating a scene could cause me some issues with the 1-2 semesters I have left.

 

[tgallmey]

We should get a collection of these "what to do to telemarketers and spammers" and make it a sticky

 

[GodFearinGunTotin]

One afternoon, I was visiting my brother's house when a telemarketer called. Turns out she lived close by...he pretty well had a date lined up til his wife decided that particular call had gone on just about long enough.

 

[rby1rby]

These are good anybody else have any related experiences?

 

[Mike H]

When they call me selling stuff I listen to what they have to say, then ask them to repeat because I didn't understand what they were saying.....then I tell them I have to ask my wife. lol
After all that I set the phone down, make sure the tv is up loud enough for them to hear and then I go about my business until they hang up.
Being on the no call list though I rarely get those calls anymore.

 

[Indy_Guy_77]

When I had a landline in my apt, and before I signed up for the Do Not Call List...

I'd just say "Sure, hang on a second" and then put the receiver on the floor.

Come back in several minutes and hang it up.

-J-

 

[Scutter01]

Just had another call from the same company. The guy was in the bottom percentile of intelligence. I think he could barely read as he seemed to be struggling with the script. He didn't understand why I was trying to charge him for my time. Eventually, he just kept repeating "Uhh...thank you for your time" but he refused to hang up (often, they're not allowed to hang up on you without the supervisor's permission), so I stayed on the line and kept "running up the tab", demanding to know what method of payment he was going to use to compensate me for the ever-increasing amount of time he was using up. I got him up to four minutes before the line suddenly went dead.