omg I messed up

[giovani]

I think pre-marital counseling should include at least two Appleseeds...

That's the thread winner right there folks!!!!!

 

[Ted]

I think pre-marital counseling should include at least two Appleseeds...

That's the thread winner right there folks!!!!!

and repped!

 

[MrSmitty]

Have you taken her shooting? That cures most of the Girl Gun Haters club I've ever known. My problem with my wife is getting her to put mine down long enough to give me some time with it.

You're talking about guns right..............

 

[mcolford]

OP/ Has anyone heard from OP? Should we have an OC Search Party?

 

[Skywired]

That's the thread winner right there folks!!!!!

and repped!

And Thank You

 

[CountryBoy19]

she was pissed that I mad a purchase of 300.00 without asking her. I make 85K plus and she makes 28K WTF? I need to ask her if I can spend my money?

I make 5X what my wife does and she makes pretty good money. We're not hurting for money by any means. I still ask if it's ok that I buy anything over $50 or so... not because I expect her to say no, but because we both always know about what each-other is buying and we respect eachother enough to just double-check that it's not going to be a problem etc...

 

[darkkevin]

My wife tried that starting on our honeymoon. The third day in, I threw my ring on the ground and told her we'll end this just as fast as we started it. That straightened her out pretty good.

Money wise, what you make is yours, what she makes is hers. You split the common bills (food, electric, mortgage, etc...), either 50/50 or based on your income ratios (80:25); whatever you two agree to.

Do NOT have kids until this garbage gets straightened out. If she don't straighten out soon, then get rid of her. There are lots of women out there looking for a guy making $80k+.

Wow, you seem like a real catch. Sorry for the lack of purple

 

[repeter1977]

I would hope that you would all work that out about bills beforehand. As for spending the money, would hope that you care enough about what she thinks. Granted, might be a rubber stamp process, but either she should know before or after the fact. Heck, since she makes 20g a year, what if she goes out and just buys a new car? would you be ok with that random purchase? What is the limit you expect for the money she spends vs what you spend. My feelings, if its good for her, it should be the same rules for you, no matter who "makes" more money

 

[Bunnykid68]

Disregarding this thread now

 

[ocsdor]

Wow, you seem like a real catch. Sorry for the lack of purple

Believe it or not, there are still some real men around; the types that don't lick the boots of our wife nor the gov't. Refusing to lick boots gains respect from both.

btw, we've been together for 15 years now, and married for 11 years. 1st marriage for both.

 

[RedneckReject]

Believe it or not, there are still some real men around; the types that don't lick the boots of our wife nor the gov't. Refusing to lick boots gains respect from both.

btw, we've been together for 15 years now, and married for 11 years. 1st marriage for both.

I don't think anyone is saying OP should give in, more that he should respect his wife just as she should respect him. And although refusing to "lick boots" can often earn you respect, it can also often make people think you are a spoiled DB. No offense meant. I congratulate you on being with your spouse for as long as you have and wish you both the best. Just saying that different things work for different types of people. Clearly your incident with throwing your ring worked for you and you two were able to get past your issue. That's wonderful for you two, but if my husband did that to me I would laugh at him and say "Well ok there's the door." Not that I disrespect him, just that acting that way isn't acceptable to me and I won't tolerate it. Talk to me like an adult. But that's ME. How OP handles this situation depends largely on what works for his wife and their relationship.

 

[CindyE]

IMO, the wife is scared. She may also have grown up in a family where ppl got their way by being controlling, demanding, and being dramatic, so she thinks this is the way to act.
Secondly, has the OP said or done anything to cause her to fear guns more? Acted irresponsibly, or made threats against others or himself? I know a few women who have nothing against guns, but don't want their spouses to have them because they've given them reason to think they'd do something irresponsible. For example, one husband has hinted at suicide and is going thru a tough time mentally. Another went on a drunken rampage and kept telling his wife to shoot him.

 

[patience0830]

What's this mean P/C? She sweeps with the fishes?

 

[Hornett]

I make 5X what my wife does and she makes pretty good money. We're not hurting for money by any means. I still ask if it's ok that I buy anything over $50 or so... not because I expect her to say no, but because we both always know about what each-other is buying and we respect eachother enough to just double-check that it's not going to be a problem etc...

This is good advice.
However, my wife gave me free reign on gun purchases a few years ago.
She doesn't know a Glock from a shotgun.
If she just lets me buy she doesn't have to be bored with all the details of why I need X when I already have Y.
I guess after 30 years she actually believes that I can be trusted with money.

 

[CountryBoy19]

Money wise, what you make is yours, what she makes is hers. You split the common bills (food, electric, mortgage, etc...), either 50/50 or based on your income ratios (80:25); whatever you two agree to.

I've never really understood people that do this (keep separate accounts and such). Maybe it was just my upbringing... but it seems to me like if you go into a marriage with separate account and pre-nups and all that other CYA stuff just in case you get a divorce you're almost planning for failure from the start. The mentality of "what's mine is mine and what's yours is yours" is quite possibly one of the main problems in marriages today.

I'm far from a marriage counselor or even an experienced married person (I've only been married for about 3 years now). But I've been with my wife for over 10 years and we've had our ups and downs and such but we are still absolutely 100% in love with one another. We we took the vows to join together as a single inseparable body before God, we meant it. Once we've been joined, there is no separation. We function as a single body, with the other always knowing what one is doing, not hiding anything behind each-other's backs, including financing. We have 1 joint account and that's it. What's mine is OURS, and what's hers is OURS... she commonly jokes around that "what's mine is hers and what's hers is hers", but our marriage definitely doesn't function that way, it's just a female thing that she has to joke around about it to remind herself that she owns me now...

Just my random thoughts. Not meant to be advice in any way, glean from it what you want. That is how I look at a marriage and it seems to be working great for me.

BTW, my wife used to hate guns... and once upon a time I was so desperately in love with her at a time when she wasn't so sure about me because of the guns that I had even told her I'd get rid of them all to be with her...

It's a good thing that never happened... we were just out shooting clay pigeons yesterday getting ready for OUR pheasant hunting trip coming up in a couple weeks. I had never imagined that she'd be going hunting with me someday but here we are, going hunting together (she is actually hunting, with her own shotgun)... and I'm a little bit scared that she'll show me up. I used to shoot trap competitively so I'm no easy push-over when it comes to shooting clays (even though I'm a bit rusty now). She can easily keep pace with my shooting. Especially if I keep reminding her of a couple tips etc throughout the shooting she just keeps dusting the clays...

<---- Very happy husband

 

[mcolford]

What's this mean P/C? She sweeps with the fishes?

Kick her to the curb, and there are more fish in the sea.

 

[Ted]

Disregarding this thread now

Before you get any ideas about your own home life?

 

[Ted]

......She's not your mother.

No, but she can bring her Mother into it and make life truly miserable.

 

[ret]

Not wanting you to have any or not wanting you to buy more...

 

[ATOMonkey]

This thread gives me teh lulz...