OMG... Help with wife.

[Glockowner]

Just my stupid opinion, but maybe she would be more comfortable with the pistol not on the nightstand. I keep my gun several steps from the bed. That at least gives me a few feet to become coherent when rising from a dead sleep to address a noise in the night.

My firearms instructor suggested this 7 years ago and I have followed that advice ever since. Good way to avoid shooting family/ friends because os confusion.

 

[Steve B]

This may be a bad idea, but load it with dummy round, break into your own houer and scare the **** outta her, it will prove your point. I accidentally scared my ex one day, she learned quickly that it needs to be loaded.

What it can also accomplish is to get someone to second guess hearing someone entering their home. Possibly causing them to get hurt. Or get yourself shot if they notice the training rounds and change them back thinking they forgot after training last time. My .

 

[jgreiner]

Hey Ya'll.....
So, I travel a lot for work. And went to put the pistol I bought for the wife on the nightstand before lights out ( alram is set for 0415, FML). And she says she wants the magazine removed, in the holster, in the nightstand with the mag next to it. She also won't carry it with the mag in it.
So after an exchage of thoughts I hold her is better off in the safe or just throwing it at the would-be intruder. So needles to say, she got her way.
Anyway I can educate her on the best way to have it 'ready' for use. For her safety, and she won't have the mind set to load a magazine and pull the slide if she hears something or the dog are going ape sh#t.

(We don't have any kids, and no one lives in the house but us)

Has she ever shot a revolver? She might feel more comfortable with one that is loaded than a semi auto.

 

[wizard_of_ahs]

I'm glad my bride of 40 years insists on carrying AT ALL TIMES !!!

It's NEVER more than arms length away and ready to "rock and roll"

 

[42769vette]

Do a mockup. You stand at the bedroom door and run in while she tries to find a mag, put it in, take it out of the holster, cock it, point it. If she can do that before you jump on her she wins, if not you have a huge bedroom, or are really really slow.

 

[jkwparrott]

My wife always asks if my gun is loaded. I tell her "Yes, and it will stay that way." I have tried to explain that it needs to be loaded or there is no reason to have one. The idiots who keep a gun in the closet and the ammo in the closet in another room are fools. I carry my .45 everywhere, with one in the chamber and a full mag.

But she does keep HER .357 loaded at all times. It must be something about how the gun works that she just doesn't understand. A revolver is fine loaded but mine isn't?

 

[Spike_351]

What it can also accomplish is to get someone to second guess hearing someone entering their home. Possibly causing them to get hurt. Or get yourself shot if they notice the training rounds and change them back thinking they forgot after training last time. My .

I completely agree, my brain wasnt functioning at full capacity at the time of the post, it was more or less just a dumb suggestion I spouted out.

 

[Cemetery-man]

Might I suggest getting her a revolver? Some women find them less intimidating than a semi-automatic. idk.....

I agree. That's how I got my slightly anti-gun wife to accept a firearm for home defense that she felt comfortable with.

 

[Armored Saint]

I agree with a couple of posts from above:

1. shoot, shoot, shoot! She needs to be very comfortable with the gun.
2. have her keep it a few feet away to allow her time to come out of a sleep. I've heard horror stories of spouses coming home in middle of the night to find that they are looking down a barrel.

Just my 2 cents.

 

[CitiusFortius]

please, please, please, whatever you do.....do NOT force her to handle a gun in a way that makes her the least bit uncomfortable. That's how accidents happen.

If needed in the middle of the night, she'll likely be groggy anyway, maybe one locked and loaded isn't such a great idea. The time it takes to load a mag may be the time she needs to get her wits about her.

Just sayin...

 

[N8RV]

Just an observation from my own personal experience about women -- wives in particular: Often, WE can't teach them anything.

It's as frustrating as can be, but I literally can't teach my wife much. It's not that I'm not good at teaching, or that she's a bad student. I'm sure psychologists have a name for it, but someone else can tell her the same information and it suddenly clicks for her. We both know it, even if we don't understand it, and we just live with it.

I tried for years to get my wife comfortable with guns in the house. I wasted a lot of breath explaining how they work, what they can and cannot do just lying on the night stand or coffee table ... and she still insisted that they remain out of her sight.

One day, I wanted to take an NRA Basic Handgun Orientation because, although I had owned guns for years, I had never taken any instruction. When I asked if we had plans for that Saturday, she looked over the flyer and said that she wanted to go, too. As long as they had snacks.

She paid attention and asked the instructor questions. He said nothing more than what I had been preaching for years, but this time she actually heard. At the range, she then fired a .22 semi-auto, a .40 semi and a .357 mag revolver, and had better results than I!

The next day, she saw the front door standing wide open, an act of omission that I'd chided her about for years. She sat there, staring at the front door, and finally said, "I get it now. Somebody could just waltz through the front door while we're sitting here and we couldn't stop them." Bingo.

Next thing I know, she's suggesting that we keep a loaded pistol somewhere in the kitchen, now that she knows how to secure it and use it if necessary.

You might be amazed at her change of heart if you can get her to take a class from someone else. He may say exactly what you've told her, but perhaps it will click and she will understand in a way that she never has.

Worth a try. Might even save your marriage.

 

[cosermann]

Op, what's your question? Didn't see one in your post.

 

[Giddaltti]

Yep, training for sure. My daughter required additional range time, it built confidence, self assurance and better knowledge of the firearm. I will agree, a revolver may be in order. She's had trouble racking the slide.

 

[looney2ns]

I would never give my wife six rounds when she could have 16+.

Training, training, training... there really is no substitute. Going to the range to put hundreds of rounds through a gun does not compare to going through an actual training class.

However, if she will not take a class, pick up some dummy rounds and run through some scenarios at your house. Ask her to walk though what she would do. This wouldn't be the time for "I told you so," but to simply provide you a certain level of comfort while you are away and make her familiar with deploying the gun if needed when she hears that bump in the night.

Plus I'll add, simply dry fire, and handling of the gun while unloaded can help overcome her uneasiness. Go over the safety rules with her while demonstrating to her what they mean. Show her how to safely load and unloade the gun. Show her how to check that it's safe.
Have her practice picking it up while keeping her finger off the trigger.
Practice, practice practice. It won't happen over night. Takes time and patience.

 

[looney2ns]

Just an observation from my own personal experience about women -- wives in particular: Often, WE can't teach them anything.

It's as frustrating as can be, but I literally can't teach my wife much. It's not that I'm not good at teaching, or that she's a bad student. I'm sure psychologists have a name for it, but someone else can tell her the same information and it suddenly clicks for her. We both know it, even if we don't understand it, and we just live with it.

I tried for years to get my wife comfortable with guns in the house. I wasted a lot of breath explaining how they work, what they can and cannot do just lying on the night stand or coffee table ... and she still insisted that they remain out of her sight.

One day, I wanted to take an NRA Basic Handgun Orientation because, although I had owned guns for years, I had never taken any instruction. When I asked if we had plans for that Saturday, she looked over the flyer and said that she wanted to go, too. As long as they had snacks.

She paid attention and asked the instructor questions. He said nothing more than what I had been preaching for years, but this time she actually heard. At the range, she then fired a .22 semi-auto, a .40 semi and a .357 mag revolver, and had better results than I!

The next day, she saw the front door standing wide open, an act of omission that I'd chided her about for years. She sat there, staring at the front door, and finally said, "I get it now. Somebody could just waltz through the front door while we're sitting here and we couldn't stop them." Bingo.

Next thing I know, she's suggesting that we keep a loaded pistol somewhere in the kitchen, now that she knows how to secure it and use it if necessary.

You might be amazed at her change of heart if you can get her to take a class from someone else. He may say exactly what you've told her, but perhaps it will click and she will understand in a way that she never has.

Worth a try. Might even save your marriage.

Perfect post.

 

[Rock River]

Same here. My wife has a revolver that she just "feels" is safer than a semi-auto. She's much more willing to go shooting with me once she found something she feels good with.

 

[Cowboy45]

I tried to get my lady to shoot my guns so many times it drove me insane.. But she never felt comfortable with em and would get upset not being able to operate them properly.. We went to gun shops for weeks trying to find her something.. She finally settled on a Lama .380.. It looks exactly like a full sized 1911 and she loves it..

Just another thought.. She hates it when I sleep with a round in the chamber of my "night stand" gun.. (and no it's not really in the night stand).. Also no one else in the house.. Cause and I quote "You might shoot yourself in your sleep".. I guess it's one of those things that she worries about and it would never cross my mind..

 

[Magnum]

Just an observation from my own personal experience about women -- wives in particular: Often, WE can't teach them anything.

It's as frustrating as can be, but I literally can't teach my wife much. It's not that I'm not good at teaching, or that she's a bad student. I'm sure psychologists have a name for it, but someone else can tell her the same information and it suddenly clicks for her. We both know it, even if we don't understand it, and we just live with it.

I tried for years to get my wife comfortable with guns in the house. I wasted a lot of breath explaining how they work, what they can and cannot do just lying on the night stand or coffee table ... and she still insisted that they remain out of her sight.

One day, I wanted to take an NRA Basic Handgun Orientation because, although I had owned guns for years, I had never taken any instruction. When I asked if we had plans for that Saturday, she looked over the flyer and said that she wanted to go, too. As long as they had snacks.

She paid attention and asked the instructor questions. He said nothing more than what I had been preaching for years, but this time she actually heard. At the range, she then fired a .22 semi-auto, a .40 semi and a .357 mag revolver, and had better results than I!

The next day, she saw the front door standing wide open, an act of omission that I'd chided her about for years. She sat there, staring at the front door, and finally said, "I get it now. Somebody could just waltz through the front door while we're sitting here and we couldn't stop them." Bingo.

Next thing I know, she's suggesting that we keep a loaded pistol somewhere in the kitchen, now that she knows how to secure it and use it if necessary.

You might be amazed at her change of heart if you can get her to take a class from someone else. He may say exactly what you've told her, but perhaps it will click and she will understand in a way that she never has.

Worth a try. Might even save your marriage.

You are correct, psychologists have a name for it, reactance, but usually several of these are in play and not just one:

List of cognitive biases - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia