Need help proving a point

[cbseniour]

It's his house and his rules, however you might ask him to take a handgun safety course with you.

 

[ViperJock]

My friend, no son can win the argument of reason.

You must win him over with the argument of responsibility.

Get signed up for a class. Your dad is worried that you will do something foolhardy. Prove him wrong with responsibility.

I think this. ^^
Also agree with the comment to have him take the class with you. Let him see you in the class, taking it seriously and learning to be responsible with it.

On the other hand if he is just "anti-gun" no amount of reason or logic will sway him.

Good Luck.

 

[DustyDawg48]

As a parent and a very intelligent yet completely hell-raising and irresponsible child you will never convince your parents by showing the statistics. Ever. Only in rare occasions does it really ever work; most parents will assume that you are trying to sell them something by bringing up all of these instances of self-defense or crime or your own personal record of being safe and responsible. No matter the insane amount of truth in your statements it doesn't work to convince a great majority of people. You may not ever be able to get your father on your side when it comes to this and that is something you are going to have to square away for yourself; don't beat your head against the wall, if he doesn't want to hear it, he won't hear it. You may just have to tell him that he will just have to live with being disappointed in you and leave it at that. The hardest thing to do is to stop worrying about justifying things to your parents...I am still my mom's little boy even after having 3 kids of my own and have managed to live a life where I've never done time or killed anyone

Many times parents transfer their fears of losing you to violence into everything...'drive safe' 'be careful' 'don't drive fast' 'watch out for speeders' kind of things and your father just may very well be one of those people that think by the act of possessing a firearm you invite violence and that simply isn't the case. Again, do not argue the point or try to sell him on your beliefs, if he is set against it then he is set against it. Get the gun, carry it, be a responsible human being when carrying and not carrying and he may some day at least respect you for sticking to your guns, no pun intended.

 

[iChokePeople]

I think you should start by trying to understand, THEN, maybe, try to be understood or sway him. Find out what it is that he doesn't like about it. Don't guess. Talk about it. I'm a father of a 20-year old boy/young man. I see some of you saying "man", and that might be the case, but there are plenty of 19-20s who are clearly "boys" and not ready for carrying a gun, IMHO. I'm here, I'm a gun lover, I carry most of the time. I joined the Marine Corps at 17 and fully understand that 17-year olds carry guns and fight wars. I collect them, I shoot them, I carry them, I fondle them, and I've raised my sons around them... and I would not want my 20-year old son carrying a gun right now.

I know, you can throw all of the reason and logic you want around, but the bottom line is my feeling, as his father, as the one man in this group who has known him for 20 years, that there's more RISK in his having a gun on him today than there is REWARD. I can't quantify the chance that he'll legitimately need one, or the chance that a situation that might have otherwise been resolved with an argument or a fistfight or the exchange of medium-sized puff-pastries would turn into something bad because there was a gun in play... I can only go with my gut feeling, as his father, and today, that is "no, I'm not in favor of it, yet." Can't stop him, without a doubt, but I'm not there. How would *I* get there? More training would certainly help, but part of it is simply maturity and responsibility. I'm absolutely certain that HE would say he's plenty mature, responsible, and ready. Me, I'm just not quite there.

In any case, my point is only that you try to understand his concerns first, THEN decide whether to sway him, ignore him, or maybe even listen to him, if he happens to have legitimate concerns. The fact that you care about his approval tells me that either he's been a reasonably good dad, or you just really want our support in proving him wrong... I'm assuming the former.

Good luck.

 

[mikefraz]

I think you should start by trying to understand, THEN, maybe, try to be understood or sway him. Find out what it is that he doesn't like about it. Don't guess. Talk about it. I'm a father of a 20-year old boy/young man. I see some of you saying "man", and that might be the case, but there are plenty of 19-20s who are clearly "boys" and not ready for carrying a gun, IMHO. I'm here, I'm a gun lover, I carry most of the time. I joined the Marine Corps at 17 and fully understand that 17-year olds carry guns and fight wars. I collect them, I shoot them, I carry them, I fondle them, and I've raised my sons around them... and I would not want my 20-year old son carrying a gun right now.

I know, you can throw all of the reason and logic you want around, but the bottom line is my feeling, as his father, as the one man in this group who has known him for 20 years, that there's more RISK in his having a gun on him today than there is REWARD. I can't quantify the chance that he'll legitimately need one, or the chance that a situation that might have otherwise been resolved with an argument or a fistfight or the exchange of medium-sized puff-pastries would turn into something bad because there was a gun in play... I can only go with my gut feeling, as his father, and today, that is "no, I'm not in favor of it, yet." Can't stop him, without a doubt, but I'm not there. How would *I* get there? More training would certainly help, but part of it is simply maturity and responsibility. I'm absolutely certain that HE would say he's plenty mature, responsible, and ready. Me, I'm just not quite there.

In any case, my point is only that you try to understand his concerns first, THEN decide whether to sway him, ignore him, or maybe even listen to him, if he happens to have legitimate concerns. The fact that you care about his approval tells me that either he's been a reasonably good dad, or you just really want our support in proving him wrong... I'm assuming the former.

Good luck.

Like I said, i'm 19, and most kids(yes, i reffered to myself as a kid, contrary to popular belief, I don't think I know everything. In fact, quite the opposite) my age aren't mature enough to own and handle a gun in a responsible manner. It's also up for debate that the age to recieve a drivers liscense should be raised, which i'm also all for. But my point is, though it seems like the majority of kids my age are immature little brats without respect, there are a few good apples out there. And i'd like to believe that I am one of them. I guess I should have clarified my intentions on persuading my dad's opinion. I want his approval because he has always been a good father to me and I have earned his respect in many different situations. Therefore he also has my respect.

 

[iChokePeople]

I want his approval because he has always been a good father to me and I have earned his respect in many different situations. Therefore he also has my respect.

IMO, that reflects well on both of you. Don't risk or ruin that. Take it slowly, figure it out together. If you understand his concerns, you can figure out how to address them. If he understands that it's important to you, and that you'll take a responsible, mature path to getting there (rather than just defying him or hiding it from him...), you'll probably get there AND improve your relationship in the process. Saying "**** off, I'm an adult and I can do what I want to" will get you the gun now, but would, IMO, serve to reinforce the idea that you're not really ready. That whole instant gratification thing is a large part of my personal reservation about MY son being mature enough for that kind of responsibility.

Again, sincerely, good luck in getting to a place that's good for BOTH of you.

 

[Cherryspringer]

I think you should tell your dad that you are not going to Carry yet because you wish to honor his wishes. Keep in mind that he has your best interests at heart. You can still get your LTCH. It lasts a lifetime. Maybe get a target weapon and see if you can spark some interest with your dad. Just don't carry yet.

 

[patience0830]

not bad

I think you should tell your dad that you are not going to Carry yet because you wish to honor his wishes. Keep in mind that he has your best interests at heart. You can still get your LTCH. It lasts a lifetime. Maybe get a target weapon and see if you can spark some interest with your dad. Just don't carry yet.

Nice measured response. Might work. Guns are just another power tool. Used carefully, they make certain jobs easier.

You're suffering from what is known as "Diapered Butt Syndrome"

It is VERY difficult in many cases to convince someone who has diapered your downy tush that you will ever be responsible enough to take care of yourself in some matters. Yet, you will be on your own in a very few years and should have some experience and training in the self defense arena. If your Pop is just blatantly and stubbornly anti gun, I'd say get your LLTCH and seek out some training on your own. You may never convince him. It sounds like he just loves his boy and is worried about you. Or maybe he knows you better than any of us and thinks you really aren't responsible enough for the carry thing. I can't tell from here.

 

[mikefraz]

I think you should tell your dad that you are not going to Carry yet because you wish to honor his wishes. Keep in mind that he has your best interests at heart. You can still get your LTCH. It lasts a lifetime. Maybe get a target weapon and see if you can spark some interest with your dad. Just don't carry yet.

I honestly wasn't planning on carrying to the store or just driving around anyway. Atleast not at first. My main concern was home defense(we also have been having a series of break-ins in our neighborhood lately) and getting familiar with guns/target shooting.

 

[BlueEagle]

I think you sound like you have a level head on your shoulders; but, like other members have said, you're still his little boy in his eyes.

I was lucky; I was raised by a Marine who joined the service when he was 17, and served 20 years. I was brought up learning about guns, and all things related to them. Gun safety was always stressed, and I took all those lessons to heart. I was shooting from something like 7 years old; got my first pistol, (not counting rifles,) at 15, I believe. It was a target pistol, a Ruger Mark III. Dad taught me to shoot it.

3 years later, when I bought my .45 for daily carry, we took it home, and I asked him "so, are you going to come out and teach me to shoot a REAL pistol now?" He responded "I already did."

He's never had a problem with me carrying; I was lucky in that respect. The very first time I carried, he said "Be careful out there." Beyond that, he just knows that he trained me well, and he trusts me to carry responsibly and safely.

Its that trust you need; I second the idea that you should try to get him to go and take a gun-safety course with you. Even if its just a "don't point this end at yourself" class designed for 4 year olds; if he'll go with you, it will help.

And even if you carry without his "approval," he's not going to love you any less. He may disagree, and it may cause a couple of tense moments, but once he sees that you've gone 3, 6, 9, 12 months without anything bad happening...he'll come around.

What would really work is if you saved him/your mother/grandmother from a murderer with a firearm....thats not really a "likely" occurrence though, (I hope not, at least,) so you'll probably have to win him over gradually.

 

[mikefraz]

I think you sound like you have a level head on your shoulders; but, like other members have said, you're still his little boy in his eyes.

I was lucky; I was raised by a Marine who joined the service when he was 17, and served 20 years. I was brought up learning about guns, and all things related to them. Gun safety was always stressed, and I took all those lessons to heart. I was shooting from something like 7 years old; got my first pistol, (not counting rifles,) at 15, I believe. It was a target pistol, a Ruger Mark III. Dad taught me to shoot it.

3 years later, when I bought my .45 for daily carry, we took it home, and I asked him "so, are you going to come out and teach me to shoot a REAL pistol now?" He responded "I already did."

He's never had a problem with me carrying; I was lucky in that respect. The very first time I carried, he said "Be careful out there." Beyond that, he just knows that he trained me well, and he trusts me to carry responsibly and safely.

Its that trust you need; I second the idea that you should try to get him to go and take a gun-safety course with you. Even if its just a "don't point this end at yourself" class designed for 4 year olds; if he'll go with you, it will help.

And even if you carry without his "approval," he's not going to love you any less. He may disagree, and it may cause a couple of tense moments, but once he sees that you've gone 3, 6, 9, 12 months without anything bad happening...he'll come around.

What would really work is if you saved him/your mother/grandmother from a murderer with a firearm....thats not really a "likely" occurrence though, (I hope not, at least,) so you'll probably have to win him over gradually.

Great advice. I think the best bet for me is going along with my business. Because, in the end, actions speak louder than words.

 

[BlueEagle]

Sounds like you've got it figured out.

Be careful out there.

 

[squirrelhntr]

This video is on one of the 2nd ammendment blogs.

But it is very convinsing on the need to be able to carry firearms.

But also get some training.

YouTube - Suzanna Gratia Hupp explains meaning of 2nd Amendment!

there is good advice for u on this post. but this video trumps them all. u cannot depend on leo, u have to protect yourself. i'm also a dad, having said that, dont disappoint him. you and your dad go to training offer to pay for it if need be. go slow and good luck.
" its better to have a gun and not need it
rather than
need a gun and not have it"

 

[mikefraz]

So here's a little update. Me and my pro-gun uncle have since talked some sense into my family. Since my last post, my older brother has bought a shotgun, my dad is looking at revolvers, and my mother wants to go to the range and learn how to shoot my SR40. Mission accomplished? Better than I would have hoped...Thanks guys(and gals)

 

[zcsmith464]

My biggest suggestion, if he is willing, ask him to participate through the process with you, i.e. the classes, the application for LTCH, etc. This is what worked for me. I did this with my father and he progressively developed his own interest in firearms and now cc's on a regular basis.