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Military Sayings: Got one--or two?
- Thread starter goinggreyfast
- Start date
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How can our services talk to each other when they don't even speak the same language.
When the word comes down to "secure this building", they don't even know how to act.
The Army does the sensible thing and does a walk through, posts guards on every floor posts guards by the outer doors and maintains watch.
The Navy just turns out all the lights and locks the doors.
The Air Force negotiates a a 5 year lease with an option to buy.
The Marines call in a fire mission and then storm the building floor by floor, kill everyone in it, then blow it up.
When the word comes down to "secure this building", they don't even know how to act.
The Army does the sensible thing and does a walk through, posts guards on every floor posts guards by the outer doors and maintains watch.
The Navy just turns out all the lights and locks the doors.
The Air Force negotiates a a 5 year lease with an option to buy.
The Marines call in a fire mission and then storm the building floor by floor, kill everyone in it, then blow it up.
rooster3654
Plinker
"it's gonna be hot today with a heat index of what the f**k."
"push"
"one weekend a month my a**"
"I'm living the dream..... To bad it's someone else's"
"push"
"one weekend a month my a**"
"I'm living the dream..... To bad it's someone else's"
I've been on the ****ter at test depth longer than you've been in the Navy.
Chief says to a NUB on a submarine.
NUB. Non Useable Body. Also called: Non-Qual, oxygen breather.
On a sub, there are only two kinds of leaks. The kind you find. And the kind that find you.
"don't worry, when the hatch is shut, God can't hear you scream"
Chief says to a NUB on a submarine.
NUB. Non Useable Body. Also called: Non-Qual, oxygen breather.
On a sub, there are only two kinds of leaks. The kind you find. And the kind that find you.
"don't worry, when the hatch is shut, God can't hear you scream"
.452browning
Master
Not really a "saying" but I always found stuff like this good.
Military Quotes and Quotations, Funny Quotes, Mottos, Military Jokes and Humor
Rank Recognition
General
Faster than a speeding bullet.
More powerful than a locomotive.
Leaps tall buildings in a single bound.
Walks on water.
Lunches with God, but must pick up tab.
Colonel
Almost as fast as a speeding bullet.
More powerful than a shunting engine on a steep incline.
Leaps short buildings with a single bound.
Walks on water if sea is calm.
Talks to God.
Lieutenant-Colonel
Faster than an energetically thrown rock.
Almost as powerful as a speeding bullet.
Leaps short buildings with a running start in favourable winds.
Walks on water of indoor swimming pools if lifeguard is present.
May be granted audience with God if special request is approved at least three working days in advance.
Major
Can fire a speeding bullet with tolerable accuracy.
Loses tug-of-war against anything mechanical.
Makes impressively high marks when trying to leap tall buildings.
Swims well.
Is occasionally addressed by God, in passing.
Captain
Can sometimes handle firearm without shooting self.
Is run over by trains.
Barely clears outhouse.
Dog paddles.
Mumbles to self.
Lieutenant
Is dangerous to self and comrades if armed and unsupervised.
Recognizes trains two out of three times.
Runs into tall buildings.
Can stay afloat if properly instructed in the use of life jacket and water wings.
Talks to walls.
2nd Lieutenant
Can be trusted with either gun or ammunition but never both.
Must have train ticket pinned to jacket and mittens tied to sleeves.
Falls over doorsteps while trying to enter tall buildings.
Plays in Mud puddles.
Studders.
Officer Cadet
Under no circumstances to be issued with gun or ammunition, and must even be closely supervised when handling sharp pieces of paper - staples are right out.
Says: "Look at choo choo!"
Not allowed inside buildings of any size.
Makes good boat anchor.
Mere existence makes God shudder.
Sergeant-Major
Catches hyper sonic armour peircing fin stabilized discarding sabot depleted uranium long rod penetrators in his teeth and eats them.
Kicks bullet trains off their tracks.
Uproots tall buildings and walk under them.
Freezes water with a single glance; parts it with trifling gesture.
Is God.
Military Quotes and Quotations, Funny Quotes, Mottos, Military Jokes and Humor
Rank Recognition
General
Faster than a speeding bullet.
More powerful than a locomotive.
Leaps tall buildings in a single bound.
Walks on water.
Lunches with God, but must pick up tab.
Colonel
Almost as fast as a speeding bullet.
More powerful than a shunting engine on a steep incline.
Leaps short buildings with a single bound.
Walks on water if sea is calm.
Talks to God.
Lieutenant-Colonel
Faster than an energetically thrown rock.
Almost as powerful as a speeding bullet.
Leaps short buildings with a running start in favourable winds.
Walks on water of indoor swimming pools if lifeguard is present.
May be granted audience with God if special request is approved at least three working days in advance.
Major
Can fire a speeding bullet with tolerable accuracy.
Loses tug-of-war against anything mechanical.
Makes impressively high marks when trying to leap tall buildings.
Swims well.
Is occasionally addressed by God, in passing.
Captain
Can sometimes handle firearm without shooting self.
Is run over by trains.
Barely clears outhouse.
Dog paddles.
Mumbles to self.
Lieutenant
Is dangerous to self and comrades if armed and unsupervised.
Recognizes trains two out of three times.
Runs into tall buildings.
Can stay afloat if properly instructed in the use of life jacket and water wings.
Talks to walls.
2nd Lieutenant
Can be trusted with either gun or ammunition but never both.
Must have train ticket pinned to jacket and mittens tied to sleeves.
Falls over doorsteps while trying to enter tall buildings.
Plays in Mud puddles.
Studders.
Officer Cadet
Under no circumstances to be issued with gun or ammunition, and must even be closely supervised when handling sharp pieces of paper - staples are right out.
Says: "Look at choo choo!"
Not allowed inside buildings of any size.
Makes good boat anchor.
Mere existence makes God shudder.
Sergeant-Major
Catches hyper sonic armour peircing fin stabilized discarding sabot depleted uranium long rod penetrators in his teeth and eats them.
Kicks bullet trains off their tracks.
Uproots tall buildings and walk under them.
Freezes water with a single glance; parts it with trifling gesture.
Is God.
"You must know misery to know joy. You'll know joy very well once we're done here."
LT: "We need to focus on winning their hearts and minds, sir."
CAPT: "Yeah, two in the heart, one in the mind."
"If you go through life with the attitude, "hey, I'm going die any day now", everything seems better."
LT: "We need to focus on winning their hearts and minds, sir."
CAPT: "Yeah, two in the heart, one in the mind."
"If you go through life with the attitude, "hey, I'm going die any day now", everything seems better."
blamecharles
Master
DAT - Dumb A$$ Tanker
CDAT - Computerized Dumba$$ Tanker
If you forgot which way the claymore is facing its facing you.
If the mission is going to easy it's an ambush.
Favorite saying I remember from the army was a Lt Colonel telling a butter bar to "get your head out of your rectal defilade" over the battalion channel. We all thought about it for a minute and then laughed our a$$es off.
We also had an Ethiopian loader on our tank and got stuck in a river after our dumba$$ Lt ordered us to cross it, even after we argued that we were going to get stuck, as we were trying to get out the tracks started heating up some brush that was under one side and it caught fire. I was in the drivers hole and see this orange glare coming through the turret and hear " bala, bala, bala, and I ask WTF is bala? He says fire in Ethiopian. You have never seen someone get out of a tank so fast.
CDAT - Computerized Dumba$$ Tanker
If you forgot which way the claymore is facing its facing you.
If the mission is going to easy it's an ambush.
Favorite saying I remember from the army was a Lt Colonel telling a butter bar to "get your head out of your rectal defilade" over the battalion channel. We all thought about it for a minute and then laughed our a$$es off.
We also had an Ethiopian loader on our tank and got stuck in a river after our dumba$$ Lt ordered us to cross it, even after we argued that we were going to get stuck, as we were trying to get out the tracks started heating up some brush that was under one side and it caught fire. I was in the drivers hole and see this orange glare coming through the turret and hear " bala, bala, bala, and I ask WTF is bala? He says fire in Ethiopian. You have never seen someone get out of a tank so fast.
EvilBlackGun
Master
What a reminder!
These are all cadenced 12-bar blues lyrics based on jive in the 30-s & 40-s. I used to have a "bible" of these, numbering in the thousands. Paid $50 for it and sold it for $100. Thanks for the memories. <Family Friendly:> "If You Don't Like My Peaches, Why Are You Shakin' My Tree? Get Outa My Orchard And
Leave My Peach Tree Be!" EBG
These are all cadenced 12-bar blues lyrics based on jive in the 30-s & 40-s. I used to have a "bible" of these, numbering in the thousands. Paid $50 for it and sold it for $100. Thanks for the memories. <Family Friendly:> "If You Don't Like My Peaches, Why Are You Shakin' My Tree? Get Outa My Orchard And
Leave My Peach Tree Be!" EBG
Make a hole.
I was waiting for this one!
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