makes you think who your friends are...

[drysdaleg]

so...im getting married in september of this year. the guys i asked to be my groomsmen are real close friends of mine. we have been through a lot of tough **** for many years. honestly anytime they needed a place to stay, money, or someone to just vent to i was always there for them. 3 months ago i asked everyone to be a part of my wedding. thinking that they would take it as serious as i am. i spoke to everyone about getting fitted and payments for there tux. (basically broke down exactly what they needed to do) i figured they would be responsible enough to go out on there own and get fitted. i told them by july 1st they needed to have been fitted/paid off the tux. only 1 of 4 have done this, even my best man failed to do as promised. im pretty pissed off and feel completely disrespected. makes me think that maybe im "blind" when it comes to looking at our friendship. but to look back on all the **** we have done together, to me, it doesnt seem like it wasnt a "real" friendship. i even called everyone last month telling them that they have 30 days to get everything paid off. they all promised they would get it done. now i gotta tell them to basically **** off. i feel betrayed 100% i dont even want to see these people/speak to them ever again. on one of the most important days of my life they wont be there for me, when i have always been there for them.

so with that said, has anyone here at INGO had anything like this happen to them? and how did you handle the situation or how would you handle this?

thanks

 

[netsecurity]

Yea, I think it is common, and highly irritating, considering the stress you're already under. They will probably get the money, but some people are so dang frugal that they want to wait and gain interest for an extra week. Most likely though, they just forgot, so you need to politely remind them. No one takes your wedding as seriously as you do.

 

[drysdaleg]

ive reminded them several times by calls,messages,texts.

i mean come on, they are all adults. how hard could it be?

 

[No Lot Lizards]

Sorry to hear that man. Ive had to cut alot of friends loose over the years, mostly due to them being irresponsible bums that commit to nothing and couldnt hold a job.

 

[drysdaleg]

Sorry to hear that man. Ive had to cut alot of friends loose over the years, mostly due to them being irresponsible bums that commit to nothing and couldnt hold a job.

ya I'm starting to see that in people. Granted I'm still young and can make new friends, id still like for these guys to be there. But after this I'm not giving them a 2nd chance.

 

[femurphy77]

True friends are difficult to find. I've had people I consider my "friends" on two seperate occassions jack me in not so nice ways.

I'm alot more careful now about who EARNS the title "friend" from me now!

 

[KLB]

Sounds like a major lack of maturity. How old are all of you?

It is a shame if they are your friends that they would not do something for you that is so important to you.

 

[karl77]

the last few weddings i was i, ALL the groomsmen got fitted, then went to a local tavern afterwards.

And we were told to bring our tux $$$$ then.

 

[PistolBob]

ive reminded them several times by calls,messages,texts.

i mean come on, they are all adults. how hard could it be?

Now is the time in your life that you will cull the boys from the men. Most of the good old boys I ran with pre-wedding all but disappeared after the wedding day. Most didn't even come to the wedding. They were too busy being wrapped up in their own things. The one guy that was my best man, I still talk to and hang out with maybe once a year. People change, life goes on, it's a journey you have to do by yourself most of the time.

 

[hornadylnl]

Do your groomsmen like your soon to be wife?

 

[No Lot Lizards]

My best friend since 5th grade asked me to be best man in his wedding in South Carolina last year. His fiancee planned it all and we were going to wear black and purple tuxedos with purple dress shoes and purple shirts. Thank god that wedding got called off.

But still, I was gonna don that Dolomite outfit and make the 700 mile drive because he is my best friend.

 

[No Lot Lizards]

Do your groomsmen like your soon to be wife?

Of course they dont...Its always hard losing a friend/drinking buddy to the rampant virus that is marriage.

 

[hornadylnl]

Of course they dont...Its always hard losing a friend/drinking buddy to the rampant virus that is marriage.

I mean do they have legitimate reasons for not wanting to see them married?

 

[goinggreyfast]

Now is the time in your life that you will cull the boys from the men. Most of the good old boys I ran with pre-wedding all but disappeared after the wedding day. Most didn't even come to the wedding. They were too busy being wrapped up in their own things. The one guy that was my best man, I still talk to and hang out with maybe once a year. People change, life goes on, it's a journey you have to do by yourself most of the time.

^^^This^^^

I was 32 before I got married. There was a group of us that all hung out together and we thought we would be best friends for life. At the time, many of my friends lived up in MI and my then fiance' and I lived down in Posey Co. They all did as they should have done in a timely manner. Their commitment our wedding was stellar.

Thing is, that was 18 years ago. We now all live very different and separate lives and don't really even talk that much anymore. Stuff happens man, if you go through this life with even ONE person who will be your "best man" you are blessed. Even if that "best man" isn't the one who stood up with you in your wedding.

Mine ended up being my father--who went home to be with the Lord 8 years ago. If you would have asked me 18 years ago who that "best man" would have been, I probably would have given you a different answer.

 

[drysdaleg]

I mean do they have legitimate reasons for not wanting to see them married?

Yes they like my soon to be wife. We will be getting married on our 5 year ANv. We also have a 17month old son. As for my groomsmen I'm the youngest of the group at 23. The oldest is 35. The one that actually stood up to the promise is 23 also. So basically the older guys (25. 31. 35) didnt stand up to there word. When I give my word to someone or something. I mean it. I've never broken that in any circumstance.

 

[drysdaleg]

the last few weddings i was i, ALL the groomsmen got fitted, then went to a local tavern afterwards.

And we were told to bring our tux $$$$ then.

This is what I wanted to do. But to work around our schedules is hard. My "ex" best man lives in Bloomington. One in Columbus. One in greenwood (that actually got fitted) the other in brownsburg. We all used to live in Columbus though. So as you can see its hard to rally up the troops when myself and the brownsburg resident are the only ones with vehicles. My one friend walked to the place and got fitted. The one in Bloomington (BM) I offered to go pick up and take him and he wouldn't reply. So it's not like I never gave them the chance.

 

[hornadylnl]

I got married almost 15 years ago and I can't remember for sure who my groomsmen were. My brother was my best man and my old boss was another one. Can't remember for sure on the other. I got home from Germany a week before my wedding. Of my year long engagement, I saw my wife a total of about 18 days.

 

[hornadylnl]

This is what I wanted to do. But to work around our schedules is hard. My "ex" best man lives in Bloomington. One in Columbus. One in greenwood (that actually got fitted) the other in brownsburg. We all used to live in Columbus though. So as you can see its hard to rally up the troops when myself and the brownsburg resident are the only ones with vehicles. My one friend walked to the place and got fitted. The one in Bloomington (BM) I offered to go pick up and take him and he wouldn't reply. So it's not like I never gave them the chance.

So out of the 4 guys, the youngest is 23 and only one of them has a vehicle. Doesn't sound like they're the mature type.

 

[No Lot Lizards]

So out of the 4 guys, the youngest is 23 and only one of them has a vehicle. Doesn't sound like they're the mature type.

Sounds about right.

 

[U.S. Patriot]

I don't trust/like most people.