Dealing with some stuff right now myself and this gave me something to think about thank youI am so sorry for your loss. I can kinda relate to this. I lost my parents and grandparents within 3 years. Actually within 2 days away from being 3 years to the day. I stopped carrying also. The ol lady had no clue how to help me or even deal with me. It wasn't till about 2 years later I was almost involved in an accident on the road. A friend was driving. When I saw the other car coming right towards me, I smiled. My friend was able to avoid the accident. And I went on home. After walking into the house and seeing the ol lady, kids and the family pet. Lives that depend on me, then it scared me. I realized that I had been laser focusing on what I lost over what I still had, and how important I was to others. It still took me some time to work some things out in my head. And even today I still struggle with it at times. Life still goes on, and everyday gets a little better and better. This is my story so I hope that you can find something in it to help.