How do we change the stigma on female gun ownership?

[OkieGirl]

I finally admitted it, in a comment I made in an earlier thread, I don't tell a lot of people I carry.

The few folks that I have talked to about it are rarely positive about it and want some type of explanation from me. Apparently it's far more socially acceptable to live with your head in the sand than stick out your neck and take your safety seriously. So how do we change this perception that a woman with a gun has to be crazy?

 

[Manatee]

It isn't male/female stigma. It is carry/non-carry. The non-carry group includes one heck of a lot of gun owners too...not just anti-gunners.

How to avoid the "stigma": The idea behind concealed carry is that others should not be aware that you are carrying. That means with your clothing and your mouth. Don't talk about it. It's really none of their business.

 

[rockhopper46038]

I imagine that more women need to understand that, for better or for worse, no one else can be more responsible for their safety than themselves. There won't necessarily always be a husband, boyfriend or policeman there when they need one, and woman should strive to be as self-sufficent in terms of their own safety as they strive to be self-sufficient in the other aspects of their lives. And they should support other women (like yourself) who endeavor to do so, rather than raise stereotypical gender or "politically correct" arguments and try to make you feel like an outsider.

 

[HavokCycle]

the only question should be: are you competent and confident with it?

thats a q that is gender neutral. the only stigma i think that is associated with women is just that, that they are less competent and confident with firearms. while largely untrue, its the same as any female with a masculine device, like a drill, or whatever.

the stigma is based in fear. 'oh god this woman can do more/better than me, wtf shall i do'
if i were an insecure person, and a female was better with tools than I, I'd be threatened. (im not btw)

 

[Leo]

I think a person is much better off not advertising firearms ownership or possession. The friends that really know you will not be judgmental or put you into a position to draw attention. I used to date a woman that was very accomplished in the martial arts. I watched her take a male competitor apart at a state level match. I CC most of the time. She never said much about either of our personal protection styles, but walked in the confidence that she would never be at the mercy of some evil doer.

As far as helping people understand, I think the Socriteal teaching method works the best when your helping people from false beliefs. Keep them engaged with questions that forces them to confront the shortcomings of their current beliefs. When they understand that their plan is flawed, they will seek you out for help adopting a better system.

Good Luck, and thanks for being part of the answer.

 

[Lonestar6]

Huh, I never looked at it that way and honestly never thought about a stigma being attached. When I carry I carry cc because I don't want to advertise.

Why when. Well my employer does not allow weapons and I like my job so I comply. I fly regularly and leave my weapon at home when I do.

That leaves nights and weekends when I am home/in town and I just don't think it is anybody's business. Most of the time my husband doesn't even know I am carrying.

 

[OkieGirl]

I'm a stubborn gal and sometimes have to learn the hard way...

I crossed paths with a Sociopath many years ago and it ended badly, was stalked, threatened, etc... I would love to say that my life is no longer impacted by that, but with a Sociopath it isn't ever over. The defining moment for me when I realized I was not safe no matter where I was. I learned very quickly from 911 calls that there was really nothing the police could do to protect me. They can come out in the event of an emergency but with a response time of several minutes I wasn't willing to risk my safety or that of my children on a phone call for help. It's not exactly a heart warming story I share with many people. I just wish it hadn't taken the school of hard knocks to persuade me to take my own safety seriously.

 

[Lonestar6]

I'm a stubborn gal and sometimes have to learn the hard way...

I crossed paths with a Sociopath many years ago and it ended badly, was stalked, threatened, etc... I would love to say that my life is no longer impacted by that, but with a Sociopath it isn't ever over. The defining moment for me when I realized I was not safe no matter where I was. I learned very quickly from 911 calls that there was really nothing the police could do to protect me. They can come out in the event of an emergency but with a response time of several minutes I wasn't willing to risk my safety or that of my children on a phone call for help. It's not exactly a heart warming story I share with many people. I just wish it hadn't taken the school of hard knocks to persuade me to take my own safety seriously.

I think that would convince most folks of the value of owning and carrying a weapon.

 

[the1kidd03]

I'm a stubborn gal and sometimes have to learn the hard way...

I crossed paths with a Sociopath many years ago and it ended badly, was stalked, threatened, etc... I would love to say that my life is no longer impacted by that, but with a Sociopath it isn't ever over. The defining moment for me when I realized I was not safe no matter where I was. I learned very quickly from 911 calls that there was really nothing the police could do to protect me. They can come out in the event of an emergency but with a response time of several minutes I wasn't willing to risk my safety or that of my children on a phone call for help. It's not exactly a heart warming story I share with many people. I just wish it hadn't taken the school of hard knocks to persuade me to take my own safety seriously.

I've worked with a number of women who've been victims. If you really want to help the cause and change people's minds, the absolute BEST way you personally can do that is to talk to people about your experiences and what motivated you to learn and take your safety seriously. That is easier said than done for a LOT of women. Some close to me have been so traumatized by their situations that they feel ashamed to publically talk about it. Others simply don't have the interest in wanting to help others.

If you are one which contradicts both of these mantras, then reach out and talk about it to help people. I have several groups I'm involved with where you could do that if that becomes an interest to you one day.

One lady in particular told me about how her and her sister we anti-gun, until finally she changed her mind or something helped her to change it. She tried and tried to convince her sister to change her mind for a long time. FINALLY, she did and told her that she wanted to learn about guns and go buy one. A day or two later someone broke into her home and she was killed. Interacting with that other sister and her opening up to tell me this story has always stuck with me as a prime example of why people need to be encouraged to take their safety seriously.

 

[actaeon277]

I'm a stubborn gal and sometimes have to learn the hard way...

I crossed paths with a Sociopath many years ago and it ended badly, was stalked, threatened, etc... I would love to say that my life is no longer impacted by that, but with a Sociopath it isn't ever over. The defining moment for me when I realized I was not safe no matter where I was. I learned very quickly from 911 calls that there was really nothing the police could do to protect me. They can come out in the event of an emergency but with a response time of several minutes I wasn't willing to risk my safety or that of my children on a phone call for help. It's not exactly a heart warming story I share with many people. I just wish it hadn't taken the school of hard knocks to persuade me to take my own safety seriously.

Maybe giving them a story like that would help. No details or anything.
Ask them what their plan is when the chips are down.

 

[guncakes]

i have a friend who is a borderline wack-a-doo liberal who is very anti-gun. I simply talk to her about my excitement about my gun stuff just like I would about getting an awesome deal at the store. It opens up a chance for her to ask questions and me to provide some education.

I also talk with her when I read gun stories about people acting irresponsibly with guns to share how I hate it when one person can make a whole group look bad.

I think that by making the conversations as casual as what is going on at our children's school, then it becomes less of an issue between us.

On a side note, it was because of one of these discussions that she had a "oh really" moment. She was all for everybody being required to take a gun safety class because "you need driver's ed to drive a car". When I explained to her that driver's ed was NOT required in every state, she was shocked, then did some research. She thought that the state should have some sort of minimum standard for driving. I explained to her that the state does, it is just lower than what you think it should be. I swear I could see a light bulb over her head. I also reminded her driving is a privilege, not a right, and wouldn't you know it, another light bulb.

 

[gunlover85]

I would love to say that I saw "the light" 7 years ago when I left my abusive husband but I didn't. CCing a gun at that time would've probably made me feel safer. As it was, I was always watching my back waiting for him to show up at any place and time to hurt me. I bought pepper spray and had a PPO against him, but I still didn't feel safe.
It took my older brother, who was in the Air Force, 2 years of talking to me on a constant basis about my personal safety before I took it seriously. I live in an area that over the last few years has seen a few bloody crimes. That professor that was killed in Goshen a few years ago lived within 10 blocks of my house. I don't think our area is particularly violent, but I don't think I should live with my head under the sand anymore.

 

[OkieGirl]

Thanks for the post GunLover.

I took some time to come around to gun ownership after leaving the situation I was in too. I grew up around guns but never owned one till after the split from my ex. My kid brother is a cop and kept pushing me. I took two self defense courses geared specifically toward women and went thru a lot of soul searching before I decided to make my first purchase. When I'm at the range trying to teach myself to focus and be accurate I fall back on those memories of leaving the grocery or a doctors appointment and realizing that I was being followed by my ex (who had moved out of state).

I don't have a good answer YET on how to help other gals wrap their heads around the truth that there is someone out there who will put way more effort into doing them harm than they have put into keeping themselves safe.

 

[BaconGrease]

I finally admitted it, in a comment I made in an earlier thread, I don't tell a lot of people I carry.

The few folks that I have talked to about it are rarely positive about it and want some type of explanation from me. Apparently it's far more socially acceptable to live with your head in the sand than stick out your neck and take your safety seriously. So how do we change this perception that a woman with a gun has to be crazy?

It goes back to societal stereotypes that have been around for years. Women have always been pigeonholed into what jobs or lifestyle they can and can't do. Firearms and women is one such area that there hasn't been a large womens movement to change that. Part of that reason is that the government has not bothered to foster the idea to its citizens that they should take care of themselves. Instead it has continued to teach (brainwash) citizens into believing that they need government to take care of them. This coupled with the way a large majority of women feel that a man will take care of them has caused women to ignore their own safety. I believe that you will find that women that have been through some sort of traumatic event will be much more open and receptive to you carrying because they have realized what you finally realized with your stalker. The only true way to change the stigma is to recruit more women to the idea that women and guns should go together. This will of course cause you in some circles to be seen as the crazy outsider. You just have to accept the fact that you can't change everyones mind and not everyone will agree with you. Sharing your story will help.

I'm a stubborn gal and sometimes have to learn the hard way...

I crossed paths with a Sociopath many years ago and it ended badly, was stalked, threatened, etc... I would love to say that my life is no longer impacted by that, but with a Sociopath it isn't ever over. The defining moment for me when I realized I was not safe no matter where I was. I learned very quickly from 911 calls that there was really nothing the police could do to protect me. They can come out in the event of an emergency but with a response time of several minutes I wasn't willing to risk my safety or that of my children on a phone call for help. It's not exactly a heart warming story I share with many people. I just wish it hadn't taken the school of hard knocks to persuade me to take my own safety seriously.

As far as this goes, its the same story I always tell my children and it applies to people that aren't willing to get their heads out of the sand.

"There are two ways to learn. One you can learn from someone elses mistakes or two you can learn from your own. Learning from someone elses is much less painful."

I don't say that to minimize what you have gone through I only say it as an example of why many people don't take their own safety seriously. It can't happen to me!

 

[88GT]

OC!!!!



I vehemently disagree with the "keep it hidden" crowd. Not only does it completely ignore the issue, it doesn't result in anything but a false sense of security.

Gender roles and societal realities have never required women to be active advocates for their safety like they do today. Socially, firearms ownership is also being demonized, regardless of sex. Those two factors alone create a very imposing hurdle for women to become comfortable with and proficient with firearms.

I answered "OC" somewhat tongue in cheek, but the hard truth is that until we (society in general, and women in particular) put a responsible, non-threatening face on firearms ownership/carry, and that by women, we will be a silent minority. Silence is ill-suited to changing minds. OC is the best way I know to be vocal without being preachy. And when it comes up in conversation, I just behave as if the abnormal position is NOT to carry or own.

We could take a page from any of the other number of previously deviant behaviors that have found their way into mainstream society. They sure as hell didn't get there hiding in the closet.

 

[No2rdame]

I don't have a good answer YET on how to help other gals wrap their heads around the truth that there is someone out there who will put way more effort into doing them harm than they have put into keeping themselves safe.

Despite years of trying to get my wife into guns, I never could. It wasn't until a couple of her friends were avid gun owners that she finally decided to give it a try and well, the rest is history.

Some people are just born to be victims and you can't change that, but for every 10 that think you're just another armed crazy you might encourage one to say "if she can do it, I can too."

 

[gunlover85]

Despite years of trying to get my wife into guns, I never could. It wasn't until a couple of her friends were avid gun owners that she finally decided to give it a try and well, the rest is history.

Some people are just born to be victims and you can't change that, but for every 10 that think you're just another armed crazy you might encourage one to say "if she can do it, I can too."

I think that is what it will take for a lot of women. Finding women who have the same mentality about guns will be all it takes. I'm sure if I had a woman telling me about guns and my safety I probably would've bought one a lot sooner than I did. I just had my brother, who I thought was a little gun crazy, telling me that I needed personal protection. And let's face it, he's my older brother so there's going to be more resistance just because of that.

 

[gunlover85]

Thanks for the post GunLover.

I took some time to come around to gun ownership after leaving the situation I was in too. I grew up around guns but never owned one till after the split from my ex. My kid brother is a cop and kept pushing me. I took two self defense courses geared specifically toward women and went thru a lot of soul searching before I decided to make my first purchase. When I'm at the range trying to teach myself to focus and be accurate I fall back on those memories of leaving the grocery or a doctors appointment and realizing that I was being followed by my ex (who had moved out of state).

I don't have a good answer YET on how to help other gals wrap their heads around the truth that there is someone out there who will put way more effort into doing them harm than they have put into keeping themselves safe.

You would think after what we both have been through that the decision would've been easier for both of us. I'm glad you decided to do what's best for you though.

 

[OkieGirl]

My employer doesn't allow weapons at work, but my coworkers know I am "gun friendly". Some are OK with it and some choose to make a point in any given conversation to voice their concerns about my safety (or that of my children) around my firearms.

Had a funny moment recently when one of the gals introduced me to a patron as a "Pistol Packing Momma". Turns out he was an INGO member and we knew a lot of the same people. We had a nice chat and after he left she looked at me and said "I didn't understand a thing you guys said. It was like a different language." I guess the joke was on her.

 

[88GT]

That would infuriate me.

I think I'd ask them whether she thought the risk came from their lack of faith in me to be responsible or from the firearm that was going to violate the laws of physic and fire on its own.