Houston dad shoots, kills boy found inside daughter’s bedroom

[KittySlayer]

Has anything been written about the "boyfriend" who was shot? His family's perspective? Did they know their son was dating the girl?

Brief coverage on NBC morning news show. Portrayed as a nice young man that did not like guns or violence (he was a lover not a fighter). Boys family looked pretty normal for having just lost their son but NBC does have to keep with their agenda. Of course the crack news reporters failed to mention the lying daughter.

 

[hoosierdoc]

But what if the dad was on Ambien and drugged at the time? Does that throw out his claim of "I viewed his actions as threatening" since he was under the influence of sedatives?

 

[TwinTurbo]

Yes, because somehow rather than critiquing her behavior and possible de-railing of her upbringing, I was actually insulting the mentally deficient. Of course. Next I'll proceed with the Down's Syndrome and Fetal Alcohol Syndrome jokes, because those are so funny, right?

It's very easy to say 'bad seed' or 'it just happens sometimes' rather than to admit that as a parent, somehow, in some way, one has failed. Oh, it was some external influence. How convenient a claim! They hung out with a bad crowd, or kept making bad choices - who has ultimate control over them until the age of majority? Parents. Who decides who their children hang out with? Parents. Who decides the education their children will receive? Parents. Who decides what food their children will eat? Parents. Who decides the moral and religious instruction and influence upon their children? Parents. It is a poor craftsman who blames his tools and it is a poor parent who blames their child as incorrigible or unsalvageable or otherwise deficient in their behavior. Children don't have the ability to make informed decisions, which is why it is the job and role of parents to make those choices on their behalf. Castigating or blaming a child for having gone off the rails without one or many instigating influences is totally insufficient regarding solving or tracing the start of the problem.

Children don't go from being little cherubs in the cradle to total deliquent miscreants on the street overnight, they never have done so and never will. The path from good to bad isn't the flicking of a lightswitch. It the job and role of a parent to notice and detect and alter unacceptable behaviors before they become even more malfunctioning. Blaming outside external factors is just shirking responsibility. As a parent, there shouldn't be any external influences on one's child that one does not approve of as a parent, this is another job and role as parent. I don't buy the some-people-are-just-born-monsters theory. Do you think Adolf Hitler was evil? Undeniably, if we can resort to subjective terms. What about when he was a boy? Do you think he dreamed of Jews in the crematoria then? What about as a young man who envisioned himself an artist - when he painted landscapes, do you still think he had mass genocide on his mind? It's impossible to say for sure, but we know for a fact that his moral code, if he had one, was severely skewed and clearly a moral code that would have prevented the wholesale slaughter and genocide of entire groups of people clearly had not been instilled into him well enough.

Adam Lanza's father wishes his own son - who is admittedly a mass-murderer - had never been born. Much easier to do that and wish than to accept some personal role in his offspring going off the rails and sinking into mental illness and not noticing until it was too late. Much easier to try to wash the blood off one's hands by imagining that he had nothing to do with not noticing his son's illness or having any hand in his son's upbringing despite being one of the two most influential and present people in his son's life. Much easier to shirk responsibility than to admit that one has not done one's job properly. Admitting that would be hard indeed.

I won't say - can't say with certainty - that any parenting style is good or bad. But the results of that parenting people will ascertain as those offspring grow into adulthood. A tree is known by its fruits.

Look, you basically stated that a child makes poor choices because they were lacking rigid discipline, rules and structure, and their lackluster behavior and decision making is a result of poor parenting. Tell me, then, how "good" parenting can be just as effective for someone with a cognitive learning disability as it is with a child who doesn't have that type of disability. How does utilizing logic, cause and effect, etc. work with someone who has an inherent inability to understand those concepts as compared to someone that doesn't have that inability?

Don't twist my statement into me saying that you're insulting the mentally deficient. If anything, you're insulting the parents. Again, I can tell you don't have any experience raising a child with any sort of disability. If you did, you wouldn't be so defensive with the "the child was raised poorly" mentality. Sometimes, some children will make bad decisions and choices regardless of how they were raised. This shouldn't be a massively difficult concept to grasp, especially when more parents than just myself have called BS to those stating the contrary.

 

[HeadlessRoland]

Look, you basically stated that a child makes poor choices because they were lacking rigid discipline, rules and structure, and their lackluster behavior and decision making is a result of poor parenting. Tell me, then, how "good" parenting can be just as effective for someone with a cognitive learning disability as it is with a child who doesn't have that type of disability. How does utilizing logic, cause and effect, etc. work with someone who has an inherent inability to understand those concepts as compared to someone that doesn't have that inability?

Don't twist my statement into me saying that you're insulting the mentally deficient. If anything, you're insulting the parents. Again, I can tell you don't have any experience raising a child with any sort of disability. If you did, you wouldn't be so defensive with the "the child was raised poorly" mentality. Sometimes, some children will make bad decisions and choices regardless of how they were raised. This shouldn't be a massively difficult concept to grasp, especially when more parents than just myself have called BS to those stating the contrary.

Again, my comments were not at all geared toward those with genuine learning deficiencies or developmental issues.
As to the notion that there is no real difference in behavioral outcomes of different parenting styles, we'll just have to agree to disagree on that point.

 

[LarryC]

You are free to speak with authority about you and your kids. You know nothing about me and my kids. The realm of mistakes it look like went on in this case, I never was close to as a teenager (and the '80s and early '90s were not that different). Neither was my wife (we happened to have started dating when we were 17). It is both realistic that kids can refrain from acting like animals in heat and it is not inevitable that they will fail to exercise control no matter the draw.

I have to disagree, children raised with good morals, religion, and even with good examples from parents, still often go astray. They do not have the same brain function adults have. The inability to discern the difference of a minor adventure vs real danger (and influence from their peers can and often does outweigh all the things they have been taught) results in actions we consider terrible. This does not mean anyone has failed as a parent - just that we cannot control all the actions of a teenage person even when they have been taught responsibility, honesty and good morals.

Actually I consider myself lucky (as compared to being an excellent parent) that my children (wife and I raised 6 - his / hers and ours) have all turned out to be productive citizens. I am old enough to have seen my children raise their children, and am now observing my Great Grandchildren being raised.

I recall one of my sons calling me and complaining about the actions of his teenaged son some years ago, I laughed and said "revenge is sweet" and recounted some of his misdeeds when he was his son's age. (I think he will repeat the phrase in a few years - looking at my 4 year old great grandson's antics.

 

[LarryC]

This is a tangent, but one that's important. People don't always act like you'd expect them to, especially when a sex crime is involved. There has been an unfortunate trend in the history of law enforcement to discount rape victim's statements because they were "too calm" or "too compliant" or the like. I'd like to say this is all in the past, but recent events with another jurisdiction proved me wrong. Luckily IMPD was able to set it right, and the guilty party is in jail.

I had a woman report a carjacking. 3 months later she calls me and says it was actually a rape and then a carjacking, and for a variety of reasons (she felt like she'd been stupid in 'allowing it to happen', didn't want her parents to find out, etc.) but her friend wanted her to tell the truth. I believe her, but 3 months later there's nothing I can do with it. I remember she was extremely calm at the scene, like shell shock calm, but I chalked it up to the carjacking. She still doesn't want to prosecute for the sex crime because of the threat of having to testify, face him again, etc. I talked to one woman who was raped by two men who stated she simply stared at a church's steeple through the window during the attack because she knew she couldn't overpower them or summon help. Not everyone is in hysterics, some simply shut down or concentrate on surviving.

Please don't make the mistake of disbelieving someone who claims to be the victim of sexual assault, especially a date rape scenario, simply because their behavior doesn't conform to what you think it should be.

Very intelligent rebuttal. In addition to your comments we don't know the context of her statements, even if she had not known the boy, she may have been calm if just awakened and seeing her father in control of the situation. In my opinion the "boy" was 17 years old and should have known the risks he was taking - and he certainly should have held his hands up in plain sight (not reached for something) when confronted by an armed homeowner.
It is a sad situation but if a case like this came to Indiana and I were on a jury I certainly would find the fathers actions justified unless other facts were brought into evidence that are not currently published.

 

[Texas-M4]

Now going through Arraignment. Let's see if castle rule applies.