Guns and depression. Family/Friends responseibility.

[dragun762]

If your close with him just be a friend. talk to him in private and work in your concerns. maybe this could give you a common interest and help him with his situation. i would fear that taking it away could reinforce any negative feelings by showing a lack of faith by friends and family. the fact that he is on medication should be a concern at least until he has a long term knowledge of how it is going to effect him. be aware, be there, and work together. If someone truly wants to end their life gun or no gun they will find a way. i may take some flak for this but i feel that it is my right to check out if i want to....... i mean really if the time comes that i can no longer care for myself i would rather go on my own terms than die in a nursing home.

 

[JimmyR]

DON'T EVER lay your rights and gripes in the hands of any Social Worker! Øbummer was a Social Worker !!! ! ! ! Stick with Med Drs, Shrinks and Physicians. They make diagnoses, whereas So.Wo. just write out OPINIONS! And never in the Vets' favor. And if you are the patient, demand immediately to see your Drs exit-notes immediately after seeing the Dr. Make a Xerox if you must, and DON"T wait for FOIA to kick in for you. If the Dr won't give you those notes don't go back again. It's your absolute right to know what they say about you. "We were just following D.H.S. Directives to follow up on your PTSD symptoms" would have been a likely scenario! It took me over a month to find out that the SoWo suggested that my daughter apply for MY Guardianship, and my guns. She got neither! And you do not have to visit any Dr all by yourself; take a knowledgable (about you) friend along to ask questions and fend off prying questions. The Dr has a Nurse, and you have your friend. Voice of experience.

Geez, a little harsh on us social workers, dude. We aren't all libby gun-snatchers. I don't know what your situation was, but just because you got a social worker that rubbed you wrong, doesn't mean there aren't some of us who are just concerned mental health professionals trying to help someone in a time of crisis.

 

[DocGlock86]

Thanks to all for your input. Tomorrow I'm going to try and talk to the ex MIL again with a little more urgency. I'm hoping maybe I can get her to not shrug this off so easy. If not I'm going to do my best to man up and talk to him. Just going to be awkward because he's a father figure to me and he should be my guidance not vice versa. If that makes sense?

800 273 8255. Help is there, whether the Vet himself calls, of a family friend. I am a M/D O/C PTSD survivor & 'Nam vet who has safely worked with, bought, sold, shot, built guns ever since I got out in 1968. NEVER any incidents, despite what some MODS here think that they may have detected (BTW, thanks for the advice and assistance, Mods ... you know who you are), but I am a preacher for gun safety and gun rights. And some men and some mentalities cannot handle weapons ... not just guns. [added: In 40 years I have never know any Vet to "just snap!" There are ALWAYS signs and special words to look for and listen for. Not to do that here, but YOU call that hot-line and ask for yourself. You'll be to blame for his possible actions if you don't.] We are in this together, guys, especially we Veteran gun owners, whom we know have been all classified as psychotic dangers to BigBrother society, et al, Treat the drug-dependent as you would be treated yourself, if you were so unlucky as to experience any TRAUMATIC exposure, especially in the Human De-Valuing theater of war in all its contexts. I'm just sayin' ... judge not, lest ye be judged. ('Nam, Eye-Core, 1966~1968. ) 12-ways out.

He's not a vet.

 

[Tanfodude]

I've been depressed, basically for a long time and I have firearms. I thought of it but never pull it off as it helf me see things on a different perspective, the consequences and the people left behind.

I guess I'm blessed with a strong mind but everyone's different in terms of coping skills.

It's sad that a majority of people's depression is immediately treated with medication when that person just needs emotional support and close friends. Maybe you can be that person.

 

[ReadnFool]

Depending on the situation and previous discussions, one possible approach might be to suggest that he keep the fire arm in your gun safe.

This will be especially effective if they live in a higher crime area and are out of the house a lot. Not so much if you talked him towards the gun as a self defense option.

Suggest that to keep it from getting stolen he keep it in your safe just until "he can get one of his own".

Good luck.

 

[EvilBlackGun]

Glad ...

... to hear your testimony, and I think you may be an exceptional SoWo. But, "... don't ever lay your gripes and rights in the hands of a SoWo .." I bet you have been trained in an agenda that you are not stating openly here. IMHO.

We aren't all libby gun-snatchers. I don't know what your situation was, but just because you got a social worker that rubbed you wrong, doesn't mean there aren't some of us who are just concerned mental health professionals trying to help someone in a time of crisis.

 

[jwh20]

Geez, a little harsh on us social workers, dude

Not really. Social worker, social-ist, Barak Obama... It's all the same.

Just kidding I hope you realize. But the liberal-elite mindset sure is OVER represented among those who choose social work as a career. I'm not sure if they are drawn to this because of their political views or their political views are shaped by their profession.

But since you're HERE and not at Sen. Feinstein's anti-gun-o-rama, I take it you are one of the exceptions to the rule...

 

[cobber]

Some clown on NPR last night said up to 50% of Americans have a mental health disorder.

UBC anyone?

 

[funeralweb]

Depression is a killer that is the #1 reason why suicides outnumber homicides 2:1. We give it a name that mistakenly leads us to think someone will "cheer up" and "get over it". Many times when a person hints at suicide they are crying out for help. Get it. GET HELP and remove as many implements of destruction as possible. In that order. In 30 years as a funeral director I've handled countless cases of suicide. One victim basically set me up to find them. We almost figured out their plan that day but were about 5 minutes too late to intervene. The victim had already shot themself and lived another 5 horrible hours before finally dying. Since then, red flags have popped up many times with other friends and I hope that action taken on their behalf averted other tragedies.

 

[nascarfantoo]

If he is making statements about suicide, no matter by what method, get help for him. It won't be esay at all, but seek out some place that can work with him on an inpatient basis if need be. Talk with his doctor.

Have experienced this in our family and it was finally necessary to seek inpatient treatment until some meds were found that helped. Long struggle. Lots of pain for all, but mostly for the individual going through it. Can't be anything worse than the inability to control the way you feel.

Your family is in my prayers.

 

[verv]

Its hard to tell when someone is getting ready to "snap" because I had a family member that appeared to be doing fine and then hits some hard times and his wife pushed him to far and one day he opened the top of his head. It was a sad day.

 

[Slapstick]

2 people I know have been in similar situations, one following a divorce and another a death. In both cases family and friends talked with them and asked if it would be ok to have someone they trusted to hold the firearms until they felt they were ok. They approached it more from the perspective that they would feel better about it, not that individual who actually owned the guns would doing anything. I don't know if was the "intervention" so to speak or just knowing that people really cared but it did the trick but both agreed.

 

[bobzilla]

<--- suffers from mild depression and is on prescription drugs. I may be a little different in that A.) I embrace the condition and choose to tackle it head on and 2.) have never considered suicide.

Not everyone that suffers from depression is suicidal/homicidal.

 

[cbseniour]

We have a couple of family members who suffer from depression. We as a family have taken their guns for 'safe keeping". YOu say you are not very close at least openly to your former father in law but you convienced him to buy a gun. Now it is your responsibility to convience him to let you hold onto it "just for safekeeping" until he gets his demons under control. There is nothing wrong with taking him to the range if he wants to shoot. Just get the gun out of his house where it is not a temtation when his devils are active.

 

[Pierce]

Talk again with his wife & daughter & convince them to pickup & put away the gun till they're sure he"s OK. Went thru this with one of my family members. Better safe than sorry!

 

[danielson]

My feeling is, hindsight is the only thing thats gonna give you the kick in the pants you need to know whats right. Your gonna have to do your best bud. You know him better than we do. If hes depressed, but doesnt have any hopes of burdoning the people around him, maybe letting him know that you would never forgive yourself if something happens with the firearm, and you would like it if he let you keep it for awhile, FOR YOU. Some people will not do for themselves, but will do for those they care about. If this is the case, make him feel like hes doing it for you.

Tell him youve lied awake at night, sick with worry about being responsible for anything that might happen. Make him feel that if he did anything, you would "know" its your fault.

Once again though, this is assuming hes not seeking emotional stress on loved ones, this might reinforce his behavior.

Even if hes just seeking attention, which with his age is unlikely, this is not the best course of action.


This is why a well trained Psychologist is your best bet.
My ex is, and I learned alot from her, and being around her when she was learning. I can assure you, from having dinner with them, there is at least one room full of people who genuinely care about the health and happiness of people with mental illness.

 

[redgreenrider]

I've been depressed, basically for a long time and I have firearms. I thought of it but never pull it off as it helf me see things on a different perspective, the consequences and the people left behind.

I guess I'm blessed with a strong mind but everyone's different in terms of coping skills.

It's sad that a majority of people's depression is immediately treated with medication when that person just needs emotional support and close friends. Maybe you can be that person.

Laying your vulnerabilities out on the table for some one to see is a terrifying thought to most people. So you see an add for a happy pill and it looks more manageable to try. The ads don't advertise how much more important counseling is than the their product. Taking the pill alone is often just sweeping your problem under the rug.

 

[danielson]

This is why I believe you should go to a Psychologist, then if that doesnt work, a Psychiatrist. Psychologists do not prescribe meds. They just try to help YOU fix your probs.

 

[Tombs]

I've had depression issues in the past.

A loaded gun on the counter only serves as a reminder of your mortality, which for me fended off any suicidal considerations quite efficiently. Funny how things work the opposite of how you may expect.

 

[DocGlock86]

Just wanted to post a follow up. If anything maybe this can help anyone who runs into this situation in the future.

I ended up just having a heart to heart with him. Went out hiking together and I just opened up to him. It was awkward and at first he didn't say a word. I thought for a moment he was peeved off at me and that was the end of it. Then it was like a wall just broke, he started opening up in a way that in 10+ years I've never seen from him.

He agreed to let me hold the gun for a couple months until he is a little more stable. And now that I know what is really the core of his depression, I can begin to help him.

Thanks INGO for giving me the spunk to do this. I know I haven't contributed much on here but I've been a member for a few years and can honestly say this is a great community.