LMAO Buuurrnnn!!!
Girls -- Please have a sense of humor!
I never quite figured out why the sexual urge of men and women
differ so much. And I never have figured out the whole Venus and Mars
thing. I have never figured out why men think with their head and women
with their heart.
FOR EXAMPLE:
One evening last week, my girlfriend and I were getting into
bed. Well, the passion starts to heat up, and she eventually says, 'I
don't feel like it, I just want you to hold me.'
I said, 'WHAT??!! What was that?!'
So she says the words that every boyfriend on the planet dreads
to hear...
'You're just not in touch with my emotional needs as a woman
enough for me to satisfy your physical needs as a man.
She responded to my puzzled look by saying, 'Can't you just love
me for who I am and not what I do for you in the bedroom?'
Realizing that nothing was going to happen that night, I went to sleep.
The very next day I opted to take the day off of work to spend
time with her. We went out to a nice lunch and then went shopping at a
big, big unnamed department store. I walked around with her while she
tried on several different very expensive outfits. She couldn't decide
which one to take, so I told her we' d just buy them all. She wanted new
shoes to compliment her new clothes, so I said, 'Lets get a pair for
each outfit.' We went on to the jewelry department where she picked out
a pair of diamond earrings. Let me tell you... she was so excited. She
must have thought I was one wave short of a shipwreck. I started to
think she was testing me because she asked for a tennis bracelet when
she doesn't even know how to play tennis.
I think I threw her for a loop when I said, 'That's fine,
honey.' She was almost nearing sexual satisfaction from all of the
excitement. Smiling with excited anticipation, she finally said, 'I
think this is all dear, let's go to the cashier.'
I could hardly contain myself when I blurted out, 'No honey, I
don't feel like it.'
Her face just went completely blank as her jaw dropped with a
baffled, 'WHAT?'
I then said, 'Honey! I just want you to HOLD this stuff for a
while. You're just not in touch with my financial needs as a man enough
for me to satisfy your shopping needs as a woman.'
And just when she had this look like she was going to kill me, I
added, 'Why can't you just love me for who I am and not for the things
I buy you?'
Apparently I'm not having sex tonight either....but at least
that b_tch knows I'm smarter than her.
Girls -- Please have a sense of humor!
I never quite figured out why the sexual urge of men and women
differ so much. And I never have figured out the whole Venus and Mars
thing. I have never figured out why men think with their head and women
with their heart.
FOR EXAMPLE:
One evening last week, my girlfriend and I were getting into
bed. Well, the passion starts to heat up, and she eventually says, 'I
don't feel like it, I just want you to hold me.'
I said, 'WHAT??!! What was that?!'
So she says the words that every boyfriend on the planet dreads
to hear...
'You're just not in touch with my emotional needs as a woman
enough for me to satisfy your physical needs as a man.
She responded to my puzzled look by saying, 'Can't you just love
me for who I am and not what I do for you in the bedroom?'
Realizing that nothing was going to happen that night, I went to sleep.
The very next day I opted to take the day off of work to spend
time with her. We went out to a nice lunch and then went shopping at a
big, big unnamed department store. I walked around with her while she
tried on several different very expensive outfits. She couldn't decide
which one to take, so I told her we' d just buy them all. She wanted new
shoes to compliment her new clothes, so I said, 'Lets get a pair for
each outfit.' We went on to the jewelry department where she picked out
a pair of diamond earrings. Let me tell you... she was so excited. She
must have thought I was one wave short of a shipwreck. I started to
think she was testing me because she asked for a tennis bracelet when
she doesn't even know how to play tennis.
I think I threw her for a loop when I said, 'That's fine,
honey.' She was almost nearing sexual satisfaction from all of the
excitement. Smiling with excited anticipation, she finally said, 'I
think this is all dear, let's go to the cashier.'
I could hardly contain myself when I blurted out, 'No honey, I
don't feel like it.'
Her face just went completely blank as her jaw dropped with a
baffled, 'WHAT?'
I then said, 'Honey! I just want you to HOLD this stuff for a
while. You're just not in touch with my financial needs as a man enough
for me to satisfy your shopping needs as a woman.'
And just when she had this look like she was going to kill me, I
added, 'Why can't you just love me for who I am and not for the things
I buy you?'
Apparently I'm not having sex tonight either....but at least
that b_tch knows I'm smarter than her.
hilarious!!!
