Do you and your SO have a "safe word"?

[Cameramonkey]

No, ya perv! Not THAT kind of safe word.

Im in talking about when you are out in public and you need to convey something important without being obvious to someone else within earshot.

In my case the wife just doesn't get it when I react to something and tell her "don't worry about it" but she continues to hound me and gets frustrated. Sometimes to the point that the person I need to talk about looks over. Well, so much for being discrete.

The last time we were out on a lunch date and a young mom made a minor scene behind my wife and I (and everyone else in the restaurant) noticed it. It wasn't obvious unless you watched it happen. I reacted visibly and the wife asked what was wrong. I told her not to worry about it and she wouldn't let it go. We were only 2 booths away so I couldn't really say anything without the mom hearing me.

So I think I need to come up with some kind of safe word so the wife knows I can't discuss at that moment


and yes, I've tried "I'll tell you later" but that doesn't always help.

 

[hoosierdoc]

Sorry, going to respond based on my assumption...

yes, and my close friends know if they get a text with the safe word to call 911 because we're in trouble. I also explained autocorrect and typing on the phone with a toe or other body part may make it look different so have a low threshold. They also know where the keys are and the Narcan.

 

[UNCLE HARLEY]

How about, Shutup!!

 

[Vigilant]

Sorry, going to respond based on my assumption...

yes, and my close friends know if they get a text with the safe word to call 911 because we're in trouble. I also explained autocorrect and typing on the phone with a toe or other body part may make it look different so have a low threshold. They also know where the keys are and the Narcan.

Narcan? I always knew doctors partied like rock stars! How does one get on your social list?(purple)

 

[churchmouse]

I have a certain look and body language that my entire family understands and SA goes full on.
It starts with "Here"

 

[AtTheMurph]

Your safe word should always be "Oprah".

 

[shibumiseeker]

Our family doesn't have a specific safeword, but when one of us goes on alert, everyone is on alert, and we've become pretty subtle about it. We've been training and doing SAR together for almost a decade now so we work together as a team very well.

 

[db1959]

My safe words are "I love Obama". Family or friends hear that phrase coming from me then they know I am in dire need of help.

 

[hoosierdoc]

Narcan? I always knew doctors partied like rock stars! How does one get on your social list?(purple)

FDA Approves Naloxone/Narcan 'Rescue Pen' for Opioid Overdose Mobile

Seriously though, I say my wife's name quiet and quickly and seems to do the trick.

 

[Sylvain]

In case like that you could always speak in a foreign language with the other person.It's like switching to a secure line.Of course the other person with you has to speak or at least understand that language as well.
It's more complex than a simple safe word but you can make elaborate plans without other people knowing.

If a bad guys are trying to rob you and you're with a partner it can be very useful.
Then you can say, in a language foreign to the native thugs, "You kick the one on the left in the balls and I will punch the one on the right in the throat at the same time".Usually they will ask "What did you just say?" and you can answer in their native tongue "You will get it in a minute".

 

[7.62]

In case like that you could always speak in a foreign language with the other person.It's like switching to a secure line.Of course the other person with you has to speak or at least understand that language as well.
It's more complex than a simple safe word but you can make elaborate plans without other people knowing.

This. I just say it in a different language! Better then just a word!

 

[snapping turtle]

" Fran Tarkenton "

 

[Sylvain]

This. I just say it in a different language! Better then just a word!

Oh course you're kinda ****ed if you're robbed by a polyglot.

 

[mbills2223]

and the Narcan.

You guys have all the fun.

 

[Rookie]

Fluggaenkoecchicebolsen

 

[Gluemanz28]

If I think that I'm understanding Cameramonkey's question correctly, he is asking for a way to say "Lets talk about it later, because we are within earshot of others"

My wife and I use "Cornfield" As in cornfields have many ears. I will admit that I have had to even use it in a sentence to get her on board. "Do you remember when we drove past that cornfield that had all the ears in it?"

 

[hoosierdoc]

You guys have all the fun.

Actually I think the last time I had a narcotic was when I was 16 and had wisdom teeth taken out. I took one, puked, and never looked back. Eyelid surgery, vasectomy, in-law visits, all natural!

 

[Mark 1911]

OK silly question. Can't you just keep your voices down and not be heard by someone at another table? I understand that some people's voices just carry more than others.

 

[phylodog]

My wife and I make every effort not to annoy one another. If she asks me something and I say "don't worry about it" or "never mind" that'll be the end of it. Same thing if I'm asking her. If it's something either of us feels strongly about or particularly curious we can bring it up again later.

 

[Cameramonkey]

Thanks guys. I needed one but couldn't think of one easy to remember. I'll have to use cornfields.

And alternative languages doesn't always cut it.

My best friend and his wife are whiter than white looking. They were having a garage sale and a couple Hispanics walked up. One said cockily at a normal level in Spanish " you ask her questions and keep her distracted and I'll grab the stuff."

She replied in Spanish at the top of her lungs, " you had better get the F off my property before the cops get here!" I heard the tires were turning before she could even reach her cell phone. LOL