I call my dog the b word (female dog) and act like she's a pita around family/friends..but actually love her a lot.
I wish I was a mind reader and could tell who really needs help when asking for money. I don't give a dime. Ever. I would if I knew how it would really be used.
i don't pick up the House until minutes before my wife gets home.
I sometimes tell my son to tell mommy he needs a diaper change to get out of it. I keep it to myself if I smell it..
i fart in meetings at work and meander my way to the opposite side so I'm not blamed
I mistakenly signed up for a synchronized swimming class in college. When I showed up the first day and realize the mistake, I stayed in the class anyway.
Many years ago, my daughter wanted a turtle for Christmas. It was the only thing she really wanted. I'd looked at and called every pet store around but couldn't find one anywhere.
Finally, I came across a pet store in another town I was passing through, and I walked in and they had one. An adult Red-eared Slider. Twelve Bucks. I was looking at him smiling, and the lady came up to me and said "So, you're the guy we've been holding this turtle for?"
I said "Yes.............Yes I am."
I paid my twelve bucks, took my turtle and quickly left that store.
I'm shy in real life.
I hate it when extroverts try to drag us introverts along on their stupid self-engrandizement exercises.
I got to shake Roy Rogers' hand one time.
I'm claustrophobic.
I don't like shopping!!
I don't like ppl that don't know how to drive!!
I don't like pedestrians that think a cross walk with a yellow light means that cars should stop for them!!
I've attempted to change my kids diaper before and found a swampy mess under their pants, then pulled their pants back up, sent them to mom and left the house.