chuck norris

[Benny]

LMAO, I love Chuck Norris facts.

Some of my favorites:

Chuck Norris can sneeze with his eyes open.

If you have five dollars and Chuck Norris has five dollars, Chuck Norris has more money than you.

Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits.

Chuck Norris has two speeds. Walk, and Kill.

Chuck Norris doesn't go hunting.... CHUCK NORRIS GOES KILLING.

Chuck Norris once ate three 72 oz. steaks in one hour. He spent the first 45 minutes having sex with his waitress.

What was going through the minds of all of Chuck Norris' victims before they died?




His shoe.

 

[Dyerbill]

When the boogie man goes to bed.................................he looks under it for Chuck Norris!

 

[Clay]

That's one of the best ever. If it's original to you, I salute you, sir!

hehe, I heard it somewhere else a while back, but changed it a little bit to make it sound better.

 

[Benny]

Chuck Norris once visited the Virgin Islands. They are now The Islands.

 

[Vigilant]

Bauer trumps Norris! Chuck IIRC never shot dead a single person with his Ghey Stainless Beretta. Jack, otoh, has dispatched many an evil-doer with G's, HK's, AK's, M4's, Microtech Halo's, Grenades, etc. Plus, Jack pulls better tail than Chuck.

 

[Benny]

Bauer trumps Norris! Chuck IIRC never shot dead a single person with his Ghey Stainless Beretta. Jack, otoh, has dispatched many an evil-doer with G's, HK's, AK's, M4's, Microtech Halo's, Grenades, etc. Plus, Jack pulls better tail than Chuck.

Does Superman wear Bauer underwear? I didn't think so.

Vigilant, you seem like a decent person, so I'll pray for you that you don't get roundhoused for your Bauer > Chuck comment.

 

[dburkhead]

Bauer trumps Norris! Chuck IIRC never shot dead a single person with his Ghey Stainless Beretta. Jack, otoh, has dispatched many an evil-doer with G's, HK's, AK's, M4's, Microtech Halo's, Grenades, etc. Plus, Jack pulls better tail than Chuck.

Invasion U.S.A. (1985)
The Delta Force (1986)
Delta Force 2: The Colombian Connection (1990)
Missing in Action (1984)
Missing in Action 2: The Beginning (1985)

That should put to rest any claims of shortcomings in Chuck Norris' use of ordnance to put a fatal hurting on the bad guys.

 

[Seancass]

Chuck Norris can slam a revolving door.

 

[epsylum]

Chuck Norris' primary export is pain.

 

[Chefcook]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NdD54rG9oQA

 

[Chefcook]

Whatever did Chuckie do with WOW or do that took you off of it?

[ame]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NdD54rG9oQA[/ame]
TOO many Chuck Norris jokes in trade chat...

 

[Seancass]

I once watched all of those Will It Blend vids. That is one sweet blender.

 

[Chefcook]

I once watched all of those Will It Blend vids. That is one sweet blender.

Yea I would love to have one but the cheapest one is $800 or so....

 

[Benny]

Invasion U.S.A. (1985)
The Delta Force (1986)
Delta Force 2: The Colombian Connection (1990)
Missing in Action (1984)
Missing in Action 2: The Beginning (1985)

That should put to rest any claims of shortcomings in Chuck Norris' use of ordnance to put a fatal hurting on the bad guys.

Well done.

 

[2ADMNLOVER]

Hate to burst your bubble folks but Chuck was a horrible actor .

Even his infomercials sucked :moon: !

Jason Bourne would've smoked chuck like a splif !

 

[bowhunter_1978]

Hate to burst your bubble folks but Chuck was a horrible actor .

Even his infomercials sucked :moon: !

Jason Bourne would've smoked chuck like a splif !

Jason Bourne couldn't carry Chuck's balls in a dumptruck!

 

[Benny]

Jason Bourne couldn't carry Chuck's balls in a dumptruck!

Quoted for troof.

 

[redneckmedic]

Chuck Norris isn't afraid of the dark.... the dark is afraid of Chuck Norris.
Remember the Mid Evil Times... Chuck went on vacation from his policing duties.
Women don't have twins naturally, they are a result of Chucks Super Sperm.