A friend of mine bought a SR9c and she loves carrying it. It's small enough for her to cc. She has small hands and says this weapon feels great. She hasn't complained about the recoil on it, either.
I have not fired it yet, but am looking forward to trying it out and seeing for myself.
I carry a full size M&P 9, but am looking at the M&P9c. Occasionally, I carry an LCP but if she doesn't like recoil on your 9, I don't think she would like it. The LCP hurts my hands after 30 rounds of practice. Good luck in your search.
Thanks to all of you for your input and advice. We went in and saw Stan at Applied Ballistics today and came home with a new pistol. No range report as yet.