Bi-polar 1 disorder

[Aggar]

Anybody have it or live with or know of someone who has it? My wife has been diagnosed with it and is in the depressed side. She's started takIng meds and seein a counselor. My question is, how can I help her try this? She's doubting herself and really struggling with day to day stuff. Any ideas or thoughts would be helpful. Also prayers would be appreciated. Shes also pregnant and we have a 2 year old girl. We have moved into my parents house so mom can help take care of our daughter. I am having a hard time stayIng positive for her but I keep praying and looking towards the end of this phase.

 

[gungirl65]

I am so sorry for your wife's diagnosis. My 29 year old daughter has had it probably since her teens or before. Her dad was bi-polar as well.

It is a very difficult illness for all those involved. Being supportive and non-judgmental is very important. Unfortunately your wife has little control over her emotions. As hard as it is for you to witness her episodes, think for a moment how horrible it must be to be trapped inside her body having to experience it first hand. For her the hell will probably increase due to the hormonal changes she will be experiencing due to the pregnancy. Don't take her moods personally.

Time to practice your situation awareness skills. Pay attention to what makes her happy during "up" times. When she is "down" try using / doing some of the things that make her happy. The meds should help but they are not magic. She will probably still have episodes. It really isn't her fault, she can't control it.

Take care of yourself and your daughter. Pay attention to things that make you happy and make sure you make time to do them so her sadness doesn't affect you too.

God bless you and your family, I wish you the best.

 

[Knife Lady]

Prayers are with you and your family.
When I was in Management at the hospital I had a few employees with this and I have a brother with this also.
Patience is what you will need and plenty of it. Gungirl is right on everything she posted.

Remember your wife is not responsible for this. Her highs and lows will be the challenge. Just hang in there and hopefully the meds will help out a lot.

 

[Naptown]

My good buddy's ex-wife had bi-polar. It was a living hell for all of them. Stay strong and love your kids.

 

[Ted]

It is my understanding that Bipolar is generally a chemical imbalance. Hopefully the medication will build a level soon, and her mood will stabilize.

Being loving and supportive, without being co dependent or enabling, is the best course to pursue.

 

[strahd71]

my dad had it, my brother has it.............. its hell, do what you have to, to protect the kids. demand that she take her medication, do not take no for an answer. as much as possible live your life, when she can live it with you great but dont let yourself sit around and wait on her.

its a weird mix of patience, love, and being a hard ass


oh and i'm sorry for both of you

jake

 

[Double T]

Are you sure it's not just the pregnancy? A LOT of women seem bipolar when they are pregnant.

Perhaps the hormones exacerbate the depression. I would not take lithium when I was pregnant unless I had to.

 

[Aggar]

Not the pregnancy. She went into full blown mania in jan 11. I'm talking staying up for days with no sleep. Very grandiose ideas. She is bi-polar. Is runs in her family. She knows she needs meds and help. That's why we're doing it now. Thanks for all the kind words and advice.

 

[spec4]

FWIW, I used to know two people who have it and are fine IF they stayed on the meds. What I could never figure out is why they sometimes refused to take the meds. I'm not a Dr.

 

[seamusalaska]

My very best friend has a bi-polar girlfriend. He is a good man but it wears him down at times. He spends a lot of time in the 'waiting' room at the hospital. It is 'flat out' chemical. When ' she's good, she's very, very good; when she's bad; she's horrible". Once, again. It's not personal , it's chemical.

 

[seamus]

I had an ex-girlfriend who is bi-polar among many other issues. I hope things work out for you, it can be a living hell for sure.

 

[GunSlinger]

May the Lord be with you and your family, my prayers are with you and them.

Our daughter was mis-diagnosted with bi-polar disorder by a very good doc during her second pregnancy. It did end up being a hormonal imbalance and toward the beginning of her third trimester she began to feel a bit better and the episodes became fewer and fewer. Two months after she delivered she was fine. Hang in there Aggar, the Lord knows your situation and will not forsake you and your family.

 

[strahd71]

FWIW, I used to know two people who have it and are fine IF they stayed on the meds. What I could never figure out is why they sometimes refused to take the meds. I'm not a Dr.

its a combination of things, the body gets used to the meds and they dont work as well and allows thoughts to creep in "i dont need the meds i'm fine" and its time for a re adjustment of dosage etc.

or everything is going well and they think "hey everything is fine, i'm fine i bet i can keep this up without the pills" next thing you know they're throwing cats over the roof like the lady on the simpsons.

when their up it makes them think they are fine and dont need the meds.

when they are on their lows they just dont care and figure why bother.....

either way its a lie and they need their meds

jake

 

[sepe]

Not the pregnancy. She went into full blown mania in jan 11. I'm talking staying up for days with no sleep. Very grandiose ideas. She is bi-polar. Is runs in her family. She knows she needs meds and help. That's why we're doing it now. Thanks for all the kind words and advice.

I'd say that this will be a major help to get back to normalcy. One of my friends almost called off his engagement because the chick went into a full blown mania (first time it was ever BAD) but while in counseling, their preacher mentioned that she seemed a bit different and asked the right questions. It was enough that they went for help. It kind of came as a surprise to them because nobody in her family (that they knew of) suffered with it. When she is good with her meds, she does really good. An uncle had it (among other things) and when he stayed on his meds, it was fairly controllable...he had several other issues so I don't know if he had a "normal" but he'd be his usual self.

It'll be really important to keep up with the doctor being that she is pregnant. The medications aren't all that friendly to the body anyway. From what I've heard (had a class with a pregnant bipolar girl), the first trimester and then breast feeding are when there can be issues depending on the meds (not real high risks). Postpartum can be rough but if you guys are staying on top of it and keep a solid treatment plan, you can get through it.

Sounds like you guys have a plan of attack and with family support, things should go a little easier. As others have said, patience is key no matter how difficult it might seem at the time.

 

[Archbishop]

My wife has been diagnosed as Bi-polar type 1. It can be very trying, but it's for better or for worse. There's been a lot of good advise already. Taking meds is pretty much going to be way of life and it can take years to get the meds adjusted right with adjustments needed from time to time. I would recommend that you consider seeing the counselor with your wife. It's your problem too by association. It might help you better understand what's gong on inside her head and give you better coping skills.
Our kids are older 7-12 and we talk very openly with them about Mom having a down day or what not. Make sure that it's nothing to do with them and it's just part of Mom's brain chemicals.
My wife keeps a "mood chart" every day it really helps when she talks to the doctor. Sometimes days later a previous day can seem better or worse than it was and record can help keep it in perspective.
Don't forget yourself. You already know you're going to have to be there for her more than "normal" person, but you also got to remember to find out how to unwind for yourself. Day at the range what not. I take mini trips back packing, kayaking whatever. Every bodies got their thing.
I think the single biggest thing to keep in mind is, there is no cure, it's forever, but it will get better more manageable and new normal will emerge that can be dealt with. And as you already know there will still be plenty of good days. You just have to learn to cope with the bad.
Take care.

 

[Archbishop]

its a combination of things, the body gets used to the meds and they dont work as well and allows thoughts to creep in "i dont need the meds i'm fine" and its time for a re adjustment of dosage etc.

or everything is going well and they think "hey everything is fine, i'm fine i bet i can keep this up without the pills" next thing you know they're throwing cats over the roof like the lady on the simpsons.

when their up it makes them think they are fine and dont need the meds.

when they are on their lows they just dont care and figure why bother.....

either way its a lie and they need their meds




jake

Exactly right, and the mental image of crazy cat lady tossing cats always cracks me up.

 

[JoshuaW]

Keep on top of it, and make sure she always knows you love her. It is important for her to trust you 100%. When she is up she needs to know that when you are trying to slow her down you aren't trying to hold her back, and when she is down she needs to trust you when you are trying to help her realize things are not as bad as they seem. She always needs to trust you of you suggest a change needs to be made. Also remember that you are still partners, and remind her of that. You need to look out for her, but you are not in charge of her.

Lastly, when the pregnancy is over, talk to your doctor about other treatments to supplement. Light therapy might be helpful in the winter, sleep aids might always be helpful. There are always new trends and fads, but don't jump on every bandwagon that comes through. If you find something that is working, stick with it until it doesn't.

 

[MrsGungho]

You've had a lot of good advice in this thread and I won't offer more, mainly because it's all been said. My mother suffered this the last 25 years of her life. I will keep you both in my prayers.

 

[Ted]

I want to restate a couple of things said previously, and expound upon them a bit.

Many people begin to improve with their psychotropic medications, but the side effects and adverse reactions leave a giant hole in their ability to perform as they wish. Knowing that the undesired effects come from their drugs, but not recognizing that their improvement comes from the same source, many people relapse due to their stopping their dosage.

Its a vicious circle that occurs entirely too often to the most rationale of people. You must, allow me to emphasize, must assure that her medications are taken everyday.....sees her physicians when schedule.....and have her lab work done to assure the proper levels.

 

[strahd71]

ok this is ugly and i dont mean any disrespect, but if she is preggy, WATCH HER CLOSE FOR THE FIRST 6-12 MONTHS AFTER THE BABY IS BORN! there have been cases where post par tum depression can be worse with Bi-Polar....... not saying she will do anything crazy but the family and friends of some of the women i'm thinking about never thought they would do anything either.

as with any illness sometimes knowing you have it makes the symptoms worse

jake