Am I a good neighbor? Did I do the right thing?

[Indy_Guy_77]

How about discreetely making/printing some flyers for the neighborhood and putting them at people's houses?

I've heard of more than one instance of a concerned neighbor doing that...

What ever you do, you should also be very careful that you don't cross the line into "harrassment" of this guy or you could very easily find yourself on the wrong end of a lawsuit.

-J-

 

[22rssix]

How about discreetely making/printing some flyers for the neighborhood and putting them at people's houses?

I've heard of more than one instance of a concerned neighbor doing that...

What ever you do, you should also be very careful that you don't cross the line into "harrassment" of this guy or you could very easily find yourself on the wrong end of a lawsuit.

-J-

I worry about the harrassment factor as well that is why I want to wait until I hear back from the DOC.

 

[Fletch]

I think a lot of people work themselves into a tizzy over these sex offender registries and should probably just relax a bit. I often wonder how exactly offenders are supposed to re-integrate with society when everyone is doing their best to make sure they can't.

I don't know if your sex offender registries list the offenses or the details of the offenses, but not every sex offender is a child molester. Not even every "child molester" is a child molester. Anyone who pays even the slightest bit of attention to the news knows that an 18-year-old having consensual sex with a 17-year-old can be charged in some places with statutory rape or child molestation and forced to register as a sex offender. Hell, in Texas, an adult working at a shop that sells sex toys to other adults can be forced to register as a sex offender. For all you know, streaking the field at a Purdue game might be enough to get you registered.

Yes, there are some bad people out there, and yes they've done some horrible things. But if they've served their time and are back in society again, it seems to me that the least we can do is try to help them on their road to becoming normal, productive, functioning citizens again. I've never seen anyone get beaten down on a daily basis and not become bitter, resentful, and even more anti-social as a result.

As for the more... extreme responses, it seems to me that the existence of registered sex offenders allow some to fantasize about murder (or actually commit it) without feeling guilty for doing so.

By all means, keep the local kids safe (if they're actually in any danger to begin with), and keep a watchful eye on your neighborhood, but completely ostracizing someone from social interaction is a pretty strange way to get them to value society.

 

[Caleb]

I think a lot of people work themselves into a tizzy over these sex offender registries and should probably just relax a bit. I often wonder how exactly offenders are supposed to re-integrate with society when everyone is doing their best to make sure they can't.

I don't know if your sex offender registries list the offenses or the details of the offenses, but not every sex offender is a child molester. Not even every "child molester" is a child molester. Anyone who pays even the slightest bit of attention to the news knows that an 18-year-old having consensual sex with a 17-year-old can be charged in some places with statutory rape or child molestation and forced to register as a sex offender. Hell, in Texas, an adult working at a shop that sells sex toys to other adults can be forced to register as a sex offender. For all you know, streaking the field at a Purdue game might be enough to get you registered.

Yes, there are some bad people out there, and yes they've done some horrible things. But if they've served their time and are back in society again, it seems to me that the least we can do is try to help them on their road to becoming normal, productive, functioning citizens again. I've never seen anyone get beaten down on a daily basis and not become bitter, resentful, and even more anti-social as a result.

As for the more... extreme responses, it seems to me that the existence of registered sex offenders allow some to fantasize about murder (or actually commit it) without feeling guilty for doing so.

By all means, keep the local kids safe (if they're actually in any danger to begin with), and keep a watchful eye on your neighborhood, but completely ostracizing someone from social interaction is a pretty strange way to get them to value society.

I'm sorry, I disagree....while yes, there's some circumstances when they are forced to register when they shouldn't have too but that's no reason to let your guard down. I'd rather be over-protective then under-protective because quite frankly, you really don't know the good folks from the bad folks. They are the one's who has to prove they aren't a threat...

 

[Fletch]

I'm sorry, I disagree....while yes, there's some circumstances when they are forced to register when they shouldn't have too but that's no reason to let your guard down. I'd rather be over-protective then under-protective because quite frankly, you really don't know the good folks from the bad folks. They are the one's who has to prove they aren't a threat...

When you figure out how to prove a negative, there are a lot of scientists worldwide waiting to talk to you.

 

[22rssix]

You are right there are many different reason that you can wind up on the list. I have no reason to keep him from living a normal life. But with his name on the list and the kids playing in his yard concern me. That is why I took the steps to contact the DOC about this first.


This guy was charged with rape and criminal deviate conduct.


So I called one of the numbers listed and spoke to a woman who said that anyone listed a sex predator raises some red flags. She told me to call a different number to followup with the county. I called the second line and it bounced to the main line and I have to call the other lady back in a few minutes to speak to her.

 

[Bubbajms]

That is a good point, Fletch - just because someone's on the list doesn't mean they're a child molester.. there are PLENTY of things that can get someone on the list..

 

[Fletch]

You are right there are many different reason that you can wind up on the list. I have no reason to keep him from living a normal life. But with his name on the list and the kids playing in his yard concern me. That is why I took the steps to contact the DOC about this first.

Understand that I'm not mad at you, and I don't even think that what you did was necessarily all that bad. What I'm commenting on is more about the way we, as a society, have decided to scare the bejeezus out of ourselves with these registries. I think it's stupid. We don't have murderer registries, or home invader registries, or assault registries, and I can't imagine how paranoid everyone would be if we did, given how completely loopy everyone's gotten over sex offenders.

It also bugs me because I know there is a high likelihood a good many members of this board could be sex offenders if situations in their past had gone a different route. Almost every college guy I know has had a "questionable hookup" where the wrong thing said to the wrong people could have turned it into a date-rape investigation. On these very boards, in the "Girls & Guns" thread, we had nude pictures posted where an under-18 member could have seen them. Once a person gets the "sex offender" label for something like that, do you think they'll be able to make new friends easily enough to ever get around to explaining how that went down, especially when folks are using the registries as lists of "people I never want to be friends with"?

This guy was charged with rape and criminal deviate conduct.

And in all likelihood, it's just as bad as it sounds, except that rapists are not generally child molesters. The college girls you mentioned likely have more to worry about than the kids in his yard.

I'm not saying that these people are like fuzzy little puppies that you can cuddle up with. I'm saying that they are no more dangerous than everyone else around you -- the guy down the street in the middle of a nasty divorce and losing his job is probably far more dangerous, but you're not worried about him because he didn't show up on a list on the internet.

 

[jennybird]

I might have to take the dog for a walk and if I see anyone out I will stop to speak with them.

Yep, all you'd really have to do is casually mention it to one person... the grapevine will take care of the rest.

And as for Fletch... Dude, you're nuts. There is no way in the world I am risking my kids' safety, or other kids' safety, simply so a sex offender can have a chance to "re-integrate with society". I understand that there are cases that aren't a big deal, like when parents throw the book at some poor 18 year old sap who dated their 16 year old daughter. But I'm talking about the REAL offenders. The molesters. The rapists. The deviants. As far as I'm concerned, they willingly forfeited the privilege of integrating with society. How in the world does your theory reflect a society that values children? Putting the criminal's rehab before your kids? With all due respect, I'm glad you're not my neighbor. There is nothing in the world you can say that will convince me that I should allow my children, my daughters, to be anywhere near someone like that.

Edit: Knowing the guy's crime is helpful. It appears to be the women in the neighborhood who should be protected.

For all you parents out there, here is a link to some ideas about how to help protect your family. How to Protect your Family - Megan's Law - California Dept. of Justice - Office of the Attorney General

 

[Fletch]

And as for Fletch... Dude, you're nuts. There is no way in the world I am risking my kids' safety, or other kids' safety, simply so a sex offender can have a chance to "re-integrate with society".

I don't recall asking anyone to risk anyone's safety. I'm asking people to calm down a bit and evaluate the risk rationally. I'm also saying that if you ostracize previous offenders, you will dramatically increase the odds that they will re-offend. People kept outside the social network have little to lose by acting counter to the network's accepted norms.

Relationships are powerful modifiers of behavior -- some would say they're the most powerful -- and those without strong relationships are the ones most likely to offend. How many times have we heard the same refrain, over and over: "he was a quiet guy, a loner, didn't have many friends, kept to himself..."? If we truly want these people to be "safe to be around", the best thing we can do is accept them back into society and stop kicking them over and over again for the things that are in their past.

 

[jennybird]

I don't recall asking anyone to risk anyone's safety. I'm asking people to calm down a bit and evaluate the risk rationally. I'm also saying that if you ostracize previous offenders, you will dramatically increase the odds that they will re-offend. People kept outside the social network have little to lose by acting counter to the network's accepted norms.

Relationships are powerful modifiers of behavior -- some would say they're the most powerful -- and those without strong relationships are the ones most likely to offend. How many times have we heard the same refrain, over and over: "he was a quiet guy, a loner, didn't have many friends, kept to himself..."? If we truly want these people to be "safe to be around", the best thing we can do is accept them back into society and stop kicking them over and over again for the things that are in their past.

I understand what you're saying and tend to agree with you... to a point. If there is a convicted child molester living on the block, there is no way I'm going to allow my children to play in his yard. If there is a convicted serial rapist living next door, I'm not going to become buddies with him. If there is a drug dealer living down the street, I'm not going to allow my kids near him. I'm just not. Period. Tell my kids that's unfair of me if you wish. But when it comes down to it, the good Lord gave me the honor and privilege of being the mother of two beautiful little girls and with that comes the responsibility of protecting them at all costs. And I will do everything in my power to do just that... no matter how wrong it may appear.

 

[Agent 007]

There is no such thing as a "rehabilitated" child molester. Adults who have impulses to have sex with children under the age of 14 (the legal definition of child molesting in Indiana) are not going to be reintegrated into society after any amount of prison time. Sex is a base instinct, like hunger or thirst. If it's screwed up in your head, causing you to only want sex with children, then that's what you want.....period.

The "sex misconduct" offenders on the registry might be a different story, it depends on the scenario. But if the charge is "child molesting," you know that's one sick puppy.

 

[RogerB]

 

[jennybird]

I'm done Rog. You can take a poddy break now.

 

[K_W]

Did this man encourage the children to play on his lawn, or do they just play there by chance?

 

[RogerB]

I'm done Rog. You can take a poddy break now.

Whew thanks ......

 

[Fletch]

I understand what you're saying and tend to agree with you... to a point. If there is a convicted child molester living on the block, there is no way I'm going to allow my children to play in his yard. If there is a convicted serial rapist living next door, I'm not going to become buddies with him. If there is a drug dealer living down the street, I'm not going to allow my kids near him. I'm just not. Period. Tell my kids that's unfair of me if you wish. But when it comes down to it, the good Lord gave me the honor and privilege of being the mother of two beautiful little girls and with that comes the responsibility of protecting them at all costs. And I will do everything in my power to do just that... no matter how wrong it may appear.

Honestly, I don't think it would be very helpful for you or any other woman to play the buddy role. You must necessarily approach the world and potential threats in a fundamentally different manner than your male counterparts. And that's fine... as a great man once told me, "all you can do is all you can do".

 

[Fletch]

There is no such thing as a "rehabilitated" child molester. Adults who have impulses to have sex with children under the age of 14 (the legal definition of child molesting in Indiana) are not going to be reintegrated into society after any amount of prison time. Sex is a base instinct, like hunger or thirst. If it's screwed up in your head, causing you to only want sex with children, then that's what you want.....period.

This has been found to be largely true of pedophiles, especially "fixed pedophiles", while incest perpetrators tend to respond to treatment fairly well because their issues are more relational than sexual. The devil, as always, is in the details.

 

[paddling_man]

Adults who have impulses to have sex with children under the age of 14 (the legal definition of child molesting in Indiana) are not going to be reintegrated into society after any amount of prison time.

Folks falling under this category just lost all of their rights, in my view as a father of two. Right to freedom, right to air, right to life.

I'm conservative in a number of views, moderate in many and liberal in a few.

Ignoring any pretense at behaving in a civilized manner but acting purely as an instinctual mammal protecting my offspring:

Folks, as quoted above, are viewed by me as a predator and their proximity to my offspring changes my situational awareness to a high enough level that things can't possibly turn out well.

For some things, there should be no "second chances." ​

 

[right winger]

Am I a good neighbor? Did I do the right thing?

As a former Correctional Officer. I say you did the right thing.
I would have done the same.