I would reccommend the Walther P22. They are smaller and would fit into most womens hands very easily. They come with two backstraps. I have had very few issues with mine once I broke it in. I got mine for my 11 year old son and it fits in his hands nicely and he is very accurate with it.
So what I recommend is a .22LR revolver with a steel frame and a 4" or so barrel (the frame will tame the recoil and the longer barrel will keep the noise down a bit). Preferably one with more than 6 round capacity, but that is a nice to have since most self defense shootings average about 5 rounds (and most cases of a handgun used in self defense result in zero rounds being fired). A .22LR revolver is simple, very unlikely to jam and if it does not go bang...pull the trigger again. Reloads could be tricky, but the chance of needing one is pretty low and the need for simplicity is more important.
So at your price point, the Taurus model 94 and the Charter Arms Pathfinder are pretty much your choices. Now I have no experience with either gun, but they are really the only ones that meet all your criteria...