What handgun for vacation?

[BehindBlueI's]

So its about time for the annual trek to Florida, and of course with the dangerous world we live in I need something to carry on the beach. Last year I went with a Sig P220ST in a shoulder holster since I couldn't get the paddle holster to stay put in my Speedo, but the tan lines were weird so this year I want to stick to something that can stay on my waist. I'm also concerned that the .45 simply isn't enough gun for a beach vacation.

I'm thinking it has to be stainless so the salt water doesn't eat it since it won't be above the water line any longer. It must be a good caliber for sharks, giant squid, and any other aquatic menaces. I've also been warned of the under toad. I'm not sure what an under toad is, but the locals say if you aren't careful the under toad will pull you out to sea too far for you to swim back and you'll drown. I'm pretty big, so I figure any type of toad that can pull me out to sea is going to need a serious caliber.

Do under toads travel in packs? Will capacity be a concern? Where are their vitals? I'm thinking maybe a pair of Ruger Alaskans in .454 Casull, one on side in a Remora holster. I may need to add an aftermarket drawstring to my Speedo, but it'll be worth it.

What do you guys think? Anyone ever had to defend themselves against the under toad? Open to any suggestions.

 

[Joq867]

I was born and raised in Florida, the under toad isn't as bad as the squadrons of mosquitos. For those you need something belt fed and a very high cyclic rate. If you can hear the buzz, it's too late.

 

[Kagnew]

Planning to go to a pretty rough beach, are you? I don't recall having been to any which were particularly dangerous, myself. (You do have to be wary of those toads, though.)

 

[Manatee]

Get a love bug shooter.

 

[indiucky]

You must be careful and check gun laws for the Azores Islands...If the under toad gets you he may pull you there and due to the length of time the under toad would have you in the water your speedos may deterioate to the level where your pair of Ruger Alaskans may be seen by the public.

I would also stick with .44 magnum due to the under toad taking you to areas where there is only a walmart every 100 miles (and those are nautical miles mind you) and you would stand a better chance of finding ammo in the more common caliber..

 

[88E30M50]

If you are still planning on wearing the Speedo, you have plenty of options for carry. A middle aged man in a Speedo can wear a Phalanax CIWS on his hat and nobody would notice. Just be sure to sport a 70's style mustache to make it complete.

 

[Joq867]

I hope you have the proper amount of dunlop, chest hair and gold chains to wear a speedo, the fashion police are terrible down there. If your belly can't conceal at least a snubby then you can't wear the speedo.

 

[ru44mag]

The Under Toad is a powerful beast. I first learned about him from watching The World According to Garp. I'm pretty sure only Depth Charges will slow him down. But for all the other beasts you will encounter, by all means, go with the .454s. You will need arm floaties, flippers, mask and snorkle due to the weight of all that iron and to help you out swim the Under Toad. Have fun and don't forget to send pictures to all your INGO friends from the beach.

 

[BehindBlueI's]

If you are still planning on wearing the Speedo, you have plenty of options for carry. A middle aged man in a Speedo can wear a Phalanax CIWS on his hat and nobody would notice. Just be sure to sport a 70's style mustache to make it complete.

I hope you have the proper amount of dunlop, chest hair and gold chains to wear a speedo, the fashion police are terrible down there. If your belly can't conceal at least a snubby then you can't wear the speedo.

I'm thinking something like this, only not as subtle:

 

[WebSnyper]

Glock of course That's what I carried on the beach earlier this year when I went, and what I'll be carrying when I go back in a few weeks. Handles sea gulls, under toad, all kinds of sea life, and the various two legged creatures you will encounter.

IWB hybrid holster with a Speedo would leave an interesting tan line.

 

[Slawburger]

This should work on the Under-Toads.

 

[wlkjr]

What to do at the nude beaches? Everyone can see your weapon.

 

[TLHelmer]

What to do at the nude beaches? Everyone can see your weapon.

I guess that is called "open carry"!

 

[VERT]

Just crack carry one of those 454 Alaskans. As long as you don't bend over nobody will notice.

 

[DeadeyeChrista'sdad]

Ohhhh.... That is wrongggg......

 

[BehindBlueI's]

Just crack carry one of those 454 Alaskans. As long as you don't bend over nobody will notice.

Well, yeah, but then where will I keep my wallet?

 

[jrogers]

If the beaches I've been to are the norm you'd be fine having one of these made with a hollow for whatever handcannon you'd like and no one would be the wiser.

 

[VERT]

Well, yeah, but then where will I keep my wallet?

Just toss a couple twenties in the leather badge holder and hang it around your neck from a chain. I would tell you just to shove your wallet into the front of your speedo, but with the Alaskan already in the back it is going to get pretty tight in there. Sure the material stretches and all.........

 

[TEK]

thing I like about Florida, is guyabera shirts. all the Cubanos wearin them is cool because up here nobody does except for some old Mexicans sometimes. I happen to like guyabera shirts and I have a bunch of them so its fun to go somewhere they sport 'em. Of course they are good for CC too.

To Anglophiles, that is also called a safari shirt.

 

[PapaScout]

A little known fact about the under toads is that they can't stand the smell of urine. I recommend a hot cup of coffee every hour on the hour to keep up your defenses.