What do I do about my dog?

[Effingham]

This kills me.

I have a great dog. I love this guy. He's good, he's really smart (the behaviorist says he's one of the smarter dogs she's worked with), he's obedient (mostly), he's fun to play with and loves fetching balls, he likes to chase toys around the house, he doesn't bark (much) at strangers walking along the street, he doesn't howl at thunder or sirens, he likes to sit next to me with his head on my leg when I'm watching TV...

The problem is, I live alone. With Gladstone, though, for the past three months. He's eight months old now. And I work from home. I'm here all the time. That's part of the problem.

This is what I started with:

This is what I have:

When I leave the house (and I try to do so for at least half an hour every day), he totally freaks out. He cries, he scratches at the door, he freaks. I'm trying to desensitize him, but... damn. Even going to get the mail or to put out the trash is a major undertaking. And I like to go off on weekends to do things (re-enacting, conventions, what have you) and if I can't even go to the mailbox...

I love this dog, and he loves me. But I don't think I can keep him. I am losing my mind over this. The whole family cheering me on with Gladstone 'cause they know I've been through a ringer with him on his anxiety issues and trying to get him to calm down... and he's come a long way. He's a great dog. The whole family (I am told) have been dog people. We've always had dogs. Thing is, I'm 51, and this is the first dog *I* have ever had.

I love him. He loves me. But I don't know if it's fair to him or to me to keep him here. I don't know what I can do.

He's a good boy.

I can't get any work done (I work from home as a writer and translator) because he's always trying to get me to play. I try to ignore him, but he just sits there with big, pancake eyes and cocks his head and tries to jump into my lap. Either that, or he's at the door every fifteen minutes needing (wanting? Well, maybe) to be taken out. My behaviorist says I need to be more assertive and ignore him -- that he'll LEARN he has to be alone. But that's hard -- I'm too much of a softy. And that's part of the problem. Dealing with many of these issues causes me serious discomfort. Leaving him is harder on me (in many ways) than it seems to be on him -- and he's got issues about that. And I also know that it's going to end up seriously cramping my style as well as the weather improves and we move into "out for the weekend" weather.

What the hell am I to do?

Great font of internet wisdom, help me. This is tearing me up.

 

[darkkevin]

There's probably better advice than mine but I had a pointer that had separation anxiety like your dog and my ex was great with dogs/animals and made sure we ignored the dog when we got back home, it's like a treat for them ( just like it is for us) so when they get used to mundane returns like that they have less too look forward too, like I said, somebody prolly knows more than me but that worked for me

 

[rightwinger]

try the "thundershirt" it treats dog anxiety and from what i hear it works pretty well.

 

[doubleshock]

I feel your pain. Do what the theripest says to do. Remember it's a dog not a human. It may take awhile but he'll get over it and you both will then enjoy your times together even more! Do not give up and do not despare, this animal is the best friend you will ever have. I have 2 (brother and sister) and have gone thru the same stuff you are going thru now with them. Yeah they tore some stuff up but so what? It's so worth it. DO NOT SEND GLADSTONE AWAY! I can tell from the pics and your words you would regret doing that for ever! He's a great pup-pup! Hang in there, doubleshock

 

[LegatoRedrivers]

Don't send the pup away. It will be hard the first few times you leave the pup alone for more than a trip to the mailbox, and realize that he will probably think you're not coming back (that's just the way dogs are, I think.) But after the first few times, it will get easier, and once Gladstone gets a bit older, and realize that you are coming back, he will calm down.

I know how it is, it breaks your heart to leave him. At this point, you're his whole world. My pup was found abandoned on the side of the road, and used to freak out whenever I left.

It's hard right now, but stick with it. The lasting relationship will be rewarding enough for both of you to work through this with him.

 

[Bunnykid68]

Sounds like he needs more exercise time to really wear him out. Dog trainer might be able to help you break him of the separation anxiety

 

[williamnewman1]

1st off ill start by saying i work at a veterinarian office (not to bore you with the details) , but this is a VERY VERY common problem, when all other ideas have failed (behavior training etc) , in the most extreme cases we will use a drug called clomi-i-calm or even prozac , the idea is just to take the edge off and "retrain" them , after an initial period you ween them off of the drug with the idea that you have retrained them .............i suggest that check with your veterinarian about treating medically

 

[Mr. Habib]

You seem to be anxious about leaving him, that's fine, but when he sees you upset, that upsets him. You see him getting nervous, which worries you, making him more nervous, and so on. You need to remain calm. Take short trips, to the car, mailbox, ect. Treat them no differently than going into another room. Soon he will realize that it's no big deal.

 

[Cpt Caveman]

Stick him in a crate when you are leaving. You gotta train him to sleep in it so he feels secure there before hand obviously.

 

[rockhopper46038]

I've heard good things about the "thundershirt", too.

 

[Turn Key]

Prozac ..

Works great on dogs.

TK

 

[jsharmon7]

Stick him in a crate when you are leaving. You gotta train him to sleep in it so he feels secure there before hand obviously.

This would be my non-professional opinion as well. Put him in a crate with a blanket covering the top and sides so he feels secure and leave him for a bit. He'll probably whine and cry, but show him some tough love for his sake. The last thing either of you needs is to part ways over this. Good luck!

 

[Terry4570]

Keep him,he will come around use the crate with something of yours with your scent on it.He is still young he will change.

 

[Double T]

We crate our dogs most of the time when we aren't home. But they act out and tear cushion stuffing out of things.

I would try crating him while you are gone, or when you need to get some things done. our dogs sleep about half the time in their crate.

People say "A dog isn't meant to be caged" they also aren't meant to be inside domestic animals are they?

Since we've started crating (2 or 3 years now) they don't rebelliously crap on the floor, haven't had to buy a new sofa since because of them.

I would heed the behaviorist advice, but would also get a crate. He will learn that's his spot.

 

[williamnewman1]

not to bash the ideas , but i have had countless people come into the vet hospital and say they wasted $50+ on a thundershirt/jacket that worked once or twice (i assume it was just distracting the dog) and then went back to shaking and acting crazy just with a shirt/jacket on now

 

[wrigleycub]

I had a dog that had seperation anxiety for the 1st two years of his life. Solution = a crate and alone time, 2 to 3 hours a day, then 4 to 5, and so on. Keep the dog, you will regret it if you dont.

 

[shotgun0311]

I breed and raise dogs he really needs more exercise and he also should have been trained with a kennel that way he has a place to call his own when you need to do work or leave. I suggest you pick up a dog training book they have general ones and breed specific. If you follow one to the t and you stick by the little guy things will work out great for you two good luck and keep us posted.

 

[TTB Yeee]

Stick him in a crate when you are leaving. You gotta train him to sleep in it so he feels secure there before hand obviously.

My dog has hardcore separation anxiety just like your dog. He freaks out when I run out to my car, take the trash out, and everything you listed. None of that really bothers me, but when I leave for an extended period of time he does the same thing.

If we cage him, he is perfectly content, so I would suggest using this advice.

 

[1911 DeadHead]

Crate him. Dont coddle him while he is in there. Try that for about two or three months.

 

[jsharmon7]

My dog has hardcore separation anxiety just like your dog. He freaks out when I run out to my car, take the trash out, and everything you listed. None of that really bothers me, but when I leave for an extended period of time he does the same thing.

If we cage him, he is perfectly content, so I would suggest using this advice.

Our dog is the same way. If we put him in his crate he lays down and goes to sleep. If we leave him out while we go outside, he loses his mind. He also seems to know when we're leaving because he heads over to his crate, lays down, and waits for me to shut the door and give him his treat.