Until today I thought this was the stuff of urban legends and old Seinfeld episodes, but after today I can swear this exists!!
My day was going well until I was driving through town earlier today. I had finished a 44oz Diet Pepsi and the urge hit, I really needed to go. I stopped at my local BP and went straight for the bathroom. Damn, it's locked.
So I wait. Then I wait some more. Should I hit the ladies room instead, it's just a simple one stall bathroom with a lock on the door???
Dang, some chick goes in there!!
So I wait some more. My legs are crossed and I'm sure that I am feeling my back teeth starting to float..... Should I just head out to the back of the station???
Just then, after apparently reading War & Peace, the dude opens the door and exits the Mens Room. Biiiig guy, only about 5'6" but had to be well over 3 bills.
After he clears the doorway, I rush in and lock the door. The zipper comes down, and I'm taking care of business.
And then it hits me........THE STANK!!!!!
First, my nasal passages started to burn and my eyes were watering. I could feel a burning as the stank attacked my skin!!! It was a smell indescribable to man. A combination of rotten eggs, a dead animal rendering plant in 104* August heat and Rosie O'Donnels armpits after running a marathon through a pepper spray factory. Man, can't my bladder empty more quickly????
I was finally able to finish and stumble out to fresh air!! I gasped for breath while warning another guy waiting for the room with a simple; "I didn't do that"!!!
I pay for my fresh drink and leave the station. I walk into the TV room at home to my wife asking, "What's that smell"???? OMG, it followed me home.
I take a shower and have my clothes and my coat in the washing machine, but the smell is still here. It is burned into my nasal passages and I can't get it to leave. I smell it in my house and it's still in my car.
What say you INGO???? How do I rid myself of the STANK without ditching the car in the Ohio River and burning down the house?????
My day was going well until I was driving through town earlier today. I had finished a 44oz Diet Pepsi and the urge hit, I really needed to go. I stopped at my local BP and went straight for the bathroom. Damn, it's locked.
So I wait. Then I wait some more. Should I hit the ladies room instead, it's just a simple one stall bathroom with a lock on the door???
Dang, some chick goes in there!!
So I wait some more. My legs are crossed and I'm sure that I am feeling my back teeth starting to float..... Should I just head out to the back of the station???
Just then, after apparently reading War & Peace, the dude opens the door and exits the Mens Room. Biiiig guy, only about 5'6" but had to be well over 3 bills.
After he clears the doorway, I rush in and lock the door. The zipper comes down, and I'm taking care of business.
And then it hits me........THE STANK!!!!!
First, my nasal passages started to burn and my eyes were watering. I could feel a burning as the stank attacked my skin!!! It was a smell indescribable to man. A combination of rotten eggs, a dead animal rendering plant in 104* August heat and Rosie O'Donnels armpits after running a marathon through a pepper spray factory. Man, can't my bladder empty more quickly????
I was finally able to finish and stumble out to fresh air!! I gasped for breath while warning another guy waiting for the room with a simple; "I didn't do that"!!!
I pay for my fresh drink and leave the station. I walk into the TV room at home to my wife asking, "What's that smell"???? OMG, it followed me home.
I take a shower and have my clothes and my coat in the washing machine, but the smell is still here. It is burned into my nasal passages and I can't get it to leave. I smell it in my house and it's still in my car.
What say you INGO???? How do I rid myself of the STANK without ditching the car in the Ohio River and burning down the house?????
