Talking Firearms to "new" friends

[jedi]

Did I do good? Bad? How should I proceed now? If at all.

Here is the slew of emails that were sent me to her on the issue of home safety. Note the following: She did not answer if she has every fired a gun but then again she did not retouch the subject.

She does not know that I owe firearms or "like" or "dislike" guns either. We have know each other for about 3 months and tend to see each other on the train coming back fro work. I do not work with her or her company. This is **ONLY** a 'friendship/people you meet/joke/talk to on the train type of deal' and nothing else. She is married has 3 kids; me married have 2 kids. She & her daughter came to my daughter's b-day party and me and my family have gone to her 4th of july party.

PS. I call her Pertty Girl but then again I call all my female friends by "not there real name" (Musho, C. Muffin, Cupcake, Soda Pop, Pertty Girl, Pillow, Train Girl, NH (don't ask), crazy, 50th wife, etc. My wife is well aware of this and thinks nothing of it. I've called people (female) by their non-names all my life. Tends to be something on how we met formed our friendship.

---
My inital email.

Our talk on the train yesterday about the van break-in at your neighbor's house got me thinking about safety yours and mine. A security system is an OK feature to have at home but it does have some draw backs.

1) Initial cost for install and equipment
2) Monthly fee
3) Land based phone line needed
4) Learning curve on the equipment

Also while it may deter some burglars (provided they see the signs on the lawn and window) it's not fool proof. If a burglar breaks-in and the alarm goes off they still have some time before the police arrive. It typically takes the police Five minutes to arrive. That may seem like a short time but when you are faced with an unknown person in your own home at night which you do not know the intent (does he want the TV, Stereo, my life?) those 300 seconds can seem like f-o-r-e-v-e-r.

So what is better? Hum.. that is the wrong question. More we have to take a step back and understand home security. There is no 100% fool proof way to protect your home from crime. If someone really wants to get into your home given enough time and observing you they will and can find a way. What home security does is provide a layer of protection can deters people from breaking into your house.

Criminal Joe is not going to bother with your house if the house next to yours is easier to break into. Think about it from their point of view. The objective of burglary is to take something of value that does not belong to you with ease, no force and nothing getting caught. So if you have a home security system, a dog an armed guard, etc. and the house next door has nothing and leaves the car outside unlocked who are you going to rob?

So with that in mind we must look at a layered defense.
MIN REQUIREMENTS
- Secured windows and doors
- Ensure that doors have dead bolts designed to stop a crowbar from being used to open the door
- Use home security stickers to advertise you have a system (even if you do not)
- Use fake "home security" equipment on the lower end windows
- Use metal door bar stoppers on secondary doors you do not use

BETTER REQUIREMENTS
- Get a home security system

- Get a big medium to big dog.
Dogs are a great first alert system when people get close to a house. They will fight defending you and your family as well. Plus the sight of a big dog is enough at times to make a criminal look at the next house or the next block. Plus while a home security system can alert the police a dog is there right now so there is no waiting around for someone else to come to help.
- Get a firearm **BUT** first get some firearm training for you, the other adults **AND** the kids. No the kids won't be handling the firearm but they need to learn firearm safety rules. Such as the ones from Eddie Eagle:

If you see a gun:
STOP!
Don't Touch.
Leave the Area.
Tell an Adult
Eddie Eagle - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

A shotgun is a good home defense weapon that can be used with easy in a close quarter home situation. But there are plenty of other firearms as well.

On a different note today I took the later train and asked "your friend" Liz
"Hey how is everyone doing? It's been forever since I've seen the rest of the group. I might see them tomorrow."

Her reply...
"Donna was sick but is better now.
Brian we don't see anymore in the afternoons only the mornings
Everyone else is OK."

Me
"So pretty girl, jose, susa..."

Her reply...
"I don't know where the hell xxxxxx (removed by me) has been. We have not seen her in a long time."

Ouch could not finish my sentence.
Hum.. what did you do me wonders. =)

In an case stay safe pretty girl!

Her 1st reply

thanks for the info. BUT, I will never own a firearm in my home. I've heard of way too many children finding the gun and a horrible accident happens. With a two year old in the house, I refuse to let that happen since she is into everything. I don't think it's safe enough to own a gun and place the bullets in a different location. I'm sure Criminal Joe is not going to give me the 2 minutes I need to load the gun.

I have thought about using fake equipment, such as stickers, etc. but I'm not sure that will work either. but you are correct, if my neighbors house is easier to break in to, they will go their first. However, I do have a 14 year old that is reluctant to lock doors when she leaves or when she returns. As a matter of fact, I woke up this morning to the back door unlocked. I double checked all the doors before I went to bed and they were in fact locked. she must have let the dog out after I went to bed and neglected to lock it. this scares the life out of me. I don't want to put bars on my lower level windows because I don't live in the ghetto, nor do I want to make my neighbors think that I'm over protected with my goods. I think the van that was burglarized could have been avoided if the owner had not left tons of work equipment, including computers, out in the open for people to see. He has a garage that could house the van, but like many of my neighbors, he chooses to use it for storage and parks his car outside. His mistake and a burglars fortune!

Well, you know as well as I do that I have been leaving early to pick up my daughter and if they were that concerned they can send me an email and stop being so passive-aggressive. That's exactly what it seems like to me. You could have mentioned that you see me once in a while on the 4:10 - casually and not that I've sat with you. Nontheless, I've done nothing that I can think of and if there were an issue, step up to the plate and confront the issue not go behind my back with trash talk (if any is spoken - and I'm not referring to you). We are all adults here. but like you said yesterday, are they in fact friends or just people I know on the train? I'm thinking the latter and that's fine by me. Friends come to parties when invited and invite when they have parties. None of which is happening.

I do not want to put you in the middle of anything and I'll leave that conversation alone. I was just kind of venting yesterday. It's over and done in my book.

My 1st reply

Bars on windows hu? yuk!
Not sure if you misread my statement or are bring up "metal bars" on windows as another option which I did not say because well it's GHETTO looking.

The hardware store wells a metal locking bar that fits at the very bottom of a sliding door so that when placed on the door it prevents the door from being opened (sideways). It's an added protection since the sliding door has a lock and typically another vertical bolt lock on it.

There is another type of metal bar (adjustable) that has a rubber bottom and a plastic u neck on the other end. The u neck you put under the door handle on the inside of your house and adjust the metal bar so it's diagonal until the rubber end meets the floor. This provides added security to a door. If you try tp push the door open the metal bar digs deeper into the floor and will not allow the door to open. It is POSSIBLE to open the door but you have to kick and beat on the door for a while to get the bar to bend and fall off I did this to our back door about 2 year ago to get into the house. xxxxx (wife) was not answering her phone and I could see that the lights were still on in the house. Did not have the front door keys so broken in via the basement. While it's possible to break in you end up making a LOT of noise in the process thus not a good idea is you are trying to rob the place.

On the firearm issue. I understand your worries and can only stress that education, education and more education is the key to firearm safety. Education for all not just the end user. Even if you don't keep a firearm in the house, the car, the property or ever own one. It is still good to be expose to a firearm to learn what to do/not to do with it. I saw a 20/20 show in which they took out an ad for help moving stuff out of a garage. They hired teenagers, adults, and kids to help. 2 per "session" and in one of the boxes (left opened on purpose) they placed disabled prop gun and fake ammo to see what would happen. The majority of the people (kids, teenagers and adults) picked up the guns, some in an inappropriate manner, pointed the guns at their friend, etc. Only 1 teenager, 2 kids (11 and 9 years old) and 1 adult did the correct thing.

The teenage called the lady "reporter but he did not know that at the time" to advise what he should do with it. He did not touch it and just stopped working.

The same with the 2 kids. Actually the 9 year old dragged the 11 year old out of the garage saying "we need to find an adult".

The adult who owns a gun (it was later shown) ensured there was no danger to the gun (no ammo in it) and set it aside to ask the lady what to do.

The point of the story by the sheriff's dept that was interviewed is that the lack of education placed many of those people in danger when faced with a firearm. He equated it to driving. You can't drive a car until you learn (get educated) how to drive. And kids & teenagers are always going to be mystified by something they have never seen/touched/ or experienced and will attempt to explore it (right or wrong). As such just like sex, drugs, and strangers it is best to educate them then no talk about it at all.

You ever use one? Or seen one up close?

On the train thang (going getto 4 now LOL!!)
I was going to say I saw you on the 4:10 but needed to walk a fine line of getting a feel for what she was going to say and bringing you up. I figured that if I lumped you in with the rest of the group it would be better and I could in theory keep my promise to you and not bring up the subject with them. =p

I don't know why it bothers me so much? But it does! But oh well guess we'll have fun without them on the 8th.

Last email from her

No, I didn't misread anything, but I threw that in as an extra security measure (that I won't do)

Maybe it bothers you so much because it's childish and we are all adults??? Nontheless…don't let it bother you too much. I'm not. We will have fun on the 8th.

TTYL (I'll be on the 4:10 the rest of the week)

 

[jennybird]

Careful jediagh. You know what they say about "he who doth protest too much".

You did fine. Not sure why you're worried about it.

 

[Stewart]

Wow she's a bit of a drama queen isn't she? Using phrases like "passive-agressive" that early on in that paragraph. I hadn't yet seen anything like that. Maybe you left something out that she was mad about?

What's with her making it a point to tell you NOT to tell people you sat together on the train?

 

[jedi]

Careful jediagh. You know what they say about "he who doth protest too much".

Damb jenny you caught me. She is pertty (for a white girl, no offense in this remark just saying that I would not compare her to an asian or latina the same way as each have different features that make each other better) with gray eyes but she is much, much older than me. Plus she is not rich. The wife and I have an understanding that if I find myself a "little rich white girl" I'm filing for divorce end of story.

You did fine. Not sure why you're worried about it.

Well I wanted to test the waters on what she though of guns, is she Pro, Anti, or neutral. Would she ever think of going shooting? And I guess at this stage in our freindship I'm still learning abut her and her family.

What I have noticed and it was not until recnlty that I admitted to myself after my wife mentioned it is that all my "friends" that voted for I6BO I stopped talking to after the election. Those people that I knew (at work, on the train, at church, etc) that I also have some indication of being I6BO supporters (desk screensavers, bumper stickers, etc) I also have cut ties to. I'm not sure when it occured or how. But subsconsiusoly (??sp??) I began to remove them frm my life. It was only recenlty that I have aconlwedge this fact and ony after I came up with a definite anwer to my brunng question.

Who is worse I6BO or the people that vote for I6BO.

So the question now is how to proceed to find out what she is? Yes asking her point blank may work and utltmatly that may be what occurs on the train so I can see her non-verbal reaction.

But it was food for thought today and I wanted to share with my "online IN gun family".
=)

 

[jedi]

Wow she's a bit of a drama queen isn't she? Using phrases like "passive-agressive" that early on in that paragraph. I hadn't yet seen anything like that. Maybe you left something out that she was mad about?

What's with her making it a point to tell you NOT to tell people you sat together on the train?

1 year ago I began riding a train that had a gorup of people which I would stand next to (all seats full and this group of 7 people stood together). I began to talk/joke with them on our 45 min ride back home. That relationship move to inviting them to my daughter's party. Only pertty girl went. It was at that party that I found out that she just knew those people only by sitting their with them as well. She had been sitting with them for about 6 months. They would also email eah other daily/hourly and were part of some type of lottery club. $5 a week and they all bought a slew of tickets.

Well about a month ago they tossed her from the lottery club (reason unknown) and around that time she also had to take another train so he was not sitting with them. Guess that is what ticked them off. Not sure.

I don't ride with them but I don't have that issue with them. I guess I'm just a likeable guy that is crazy and goofy 99% of the time so people keep/tolerate me.

Not sure if she is a drama queen at least that has not been what I have seen. Off course jennybird is going to say I have rose color glasses on.

 

[jennybird]

Off course jennybird is going to say I have rose color glasses on.

You said it, not me.

Besides, I know a smitten man when I see one.

 

[Stewart]

You may have an agreement or understanding with your wife and that's ok for you. I'm not saying it's not.

BUT I do sense a little downplaying or overexplaining in how you describe this "relationship" and it's possible it is coming from a hidden feeling of guilt.

I couldn't care less what you're up to and am not preaching diddly squat to you. I'd just like to let you know the way you tell this story makes it seem like something more is going on. I'm not saying there is, you just sound "funny" when you tell it. Kinda like when someone is almost caught with their hand in the cookie jar or when they're staring a little too much at it ;-)

 

[jedi]

Nothing is going on that I am aware of internally or externally in my mind. I wanted to give you all a background on the email exchange and the level of 'friends/acquaintance' that I know this person by so that you all had a better understanding since you are coming into a conversation that is on-going.

Besides my current "infatuation of the month" is this girl.

But that is a WHOLE other story.

In any case back to the topic at hand. This is my first time that I have talked to a new friend about guns. My old friends (from high school and college) some were into guns, others have been around guns and some were ANTI-GUN. The latter I have slowly weeded out but I guess it had never really occurred to me how to bring up guns with new friends.

 

[Jack Ryan]

Hub McCan said it best.

Aunt Helen, "I won't have my children
around this gun foolishness."



Hub McCan, "Then leave!"