Moral values question (just checking)

[You'll shoot your eye out]

To help me with some serious personal decisions involving my family, I would like some feedback from the members of INGO. A reality check as it were.

What in your opinion is the higher moral value, love or honor? I am asking does one trump or take the first position over the other? In a circumstance where each requires certain actions, and those actions are each in conflict with the other, what should be the default position?

I already know what I think, but that apparently is making me a dirtysonofa*****. So I am looking to see if there is a overwhelming support of one over the other or not.

 

[hoosierdoc]

I don't have enough information to give an opinion. Love and honor generally apply the same principles.

 

[NyleRN]

Easy.....Love. If you are truly loving someone then in essence you are honoring them

 

[T.Lex]

Morals don't have value - even relative value. You either have them/it or you don't.

No offense intended, but threads like this tend to seek rationalization for a course of action already decided.

 

[Mr Evilwrench]

Very much intertwined. You can't love something without honor, and you can't honor something you don't love. If there's a choice, one must be a lie. It's only your choice of action which may come into question, and that's just a personal interpretation. Do what is right, to the best of your ability to determine that by your moral philosophy. It may not be popular right now, but hopefully they'll eventually come to realize why you did what you did.

 

[ModernGunner]

Honor.

Oddly, for sort of the opposite reason stated by NyleRN. You can't love someone unless you have honor, and honor them and yourself.

When it comes down to it, all you really have is your honor (your word, bond, integrity, etc.). Money comes and goes, jobs may come and go, friends and family come and go. Some times that's a good thing, some times not.

But what YOU're about, your honor, remains. And it's what people judge you on. Whether you like it or not, whether you agree or not.

 

[planedriver]

Honor is usually associated with integrity. Love is commonly associated with emotional commitment of some kind. Without more detail I can't begin to guess where my moral compass would point.

Maybe you should start with a glass of scotch?

 

[Que]

Too vague to give a real answer, but love covers a multitude of faults. That doesn't mean I will allow someone I love to betray the country I honor. They will go to jail and my love for them will not waver. I can come up with dozens of these scenarios, but you have to know what YOUR definitions are for love and honor and apply them appropriately.

 

[You'll shoot your eye out]

A few interesting/helpful thoughts...... More information would neither be appropriate here or even helpful. I am simply having a clash between making a loving decision and a honorable one. Trust me, nobody really wants to know the details.

The scotch is an excellent idea but then I run the risk of being BOTH unloving AND dishonorable.

Thanks all for your input.

 

[Snapdragon]

I don't know specifics, but IMO, "doing the right thing" trumps love or relationships.

 

[printcraft]

Not enough info..........but...... love can solve a multitude of problems.

 

[Ford Truck]

Do the honorable thing no matter the cost.

 

[NyleRN]

I don't know specifics, but IMO, "doing the right thing" trumps love or relationships.

I respectfully disagree and so does Paul the apostle. If you all want your answer then read 1 Corithians 13. Honor is never mentioned

 

[HoughMade]

Without know more, I would add that "love" does not necessarily mean doing what the person you love wants. I love my kids- I often don't do what they want, because I love them. I love my wife, but that doesn't mean I automatically go with her decisions.

 

[Mr Evilwrench]

Do the honorable thing no matter the cost.

Then He said unto them, But now, he that hath a purse, let him take it, and likewise his scrip, and he that hath no sword, let him sell his garment, and buy one. Luke 22:36 (KJ)

King James version is teh awesome (well, maybe not the 1611 one, but, you know), definitely the favorite of this old heathen. Have you seen the other translations of that verse? Lame as heck. I'm thinkin... "He that hath no AR, let him sell his big screen TV and buy one".

Distractions. Gotta get your think on to decide what's right. Doing right will be both loving and honorable, even if they question your love for doing something they disagree with, but you have to live with your decision either way, so sweat it (that would be the opposite of "don't sweat it", right?) and seek wisdom. If we had more to go on, I'm sure there are several of us who would provide advice ranging from profound to assholian. On second thought, maybe it's better to stay abstract.

Do the right thing, whatever that is.

 

[Leadeye]

Everybody has a different take on morality. Over my many years I've heard several people justify infidelity by bringing love into the equation. I've listened patiently as friends do and then politely not ventured an opinion, it's somebody else's personal business and I don't like drama.

 

[88GT]

The greatest of these is love.

 

[UNCLE HARLEY]

I'll get back with you. I'm channelling Dr Drew right now for you.

 

[BigBoxaJunk]

To help me with some serious personal decisions involving my family, I would like some feedback from the members of INGO. A reality check as it were.

What in your opinion is the higher moral value, love or honor? I am asking does one trump or take the first position over the other? In a circumstance where each requires certain actions, and those actions are each in conflict with the other, what should be the default position?


I already know what I think, but that apparently is making me a dirtysonofa*****. So I am looking to see if there is a overwhelming support of one over the other or not.

I go by the idea that no decision or action is intrinsically right or wrong, but each has consequences. One can only attempt to anticipate the consequences of any decision and act accordingly. It's up to you to decide who you are responsible for and how it might work out for them. Knowing that a decision that you might make would make you a dirty sonofa***** to a person or persons doesn't automatically make it the wrong decision, you can only shoot for an outcome that you feel you'd rather stand on when it's all said and done. Another thing is that no matter how long you might think about it beforehand, you're gonna have many more nights to ponder the decision after you've made after the fact. Try to put yourself in the future and think about how you'd rather be looking back on things.

 

[Mr Evilwrench]

The greatest of these is love.

But yet "love", in its essence, may not be permissive of all transgressions. Sometimes "love" must be strict. Sometimes it must be tempered by honor. I love my son, and I can't force him to do right, to be honorable, but I sure won't hesitate telling him he's about to do something stupid. The thing is, I'll explain why it's stupid. It's love to tell him he's stupid; it's honor to explain why he's stupid. I just cracked me up, but seriously, I meant that.