I helped a family in need and will never do it again

[longbow]

I got word a family needed 100 dollars to pay off the rent so I helped out. It delayed eviction so mom and dad could line up work

That was a week ago. I have been texted, called at strange hours and asked to drive them to go shopping. They want food and anything else they think I will provide.

I've changed my cell phone and thankfully my home number is unlisted.

Never again, done, don't ask and its over. I'm now truly jaded.

 

[fordmanchris]

At least your heart was in the right place, even if theirs may not have been.

 

[Sylvain]

Good for you.

 

[Kutnupe14]

Don't get jaded, you'll find lots of people like that.... but there ARE some people who will appreciate the help, and do right. I've been burned by a number of people I've loaned money to. I was once asked why, after being burned so often, when I still give out loans from time to time. The first reason, is that people sometimes need help, and will settle up. The second reason, is when I've loaned somebody money, and they haven't paid it back, like clockwork, they WILL ask again..... and ill have the satisfaction of saying "no, remember when...."

 

[HoughMade]

This is going to sound cynical...because it is.

Find your satisfaction in doing what is right, not in thinking it will actually make a difference. Someday it may and that will be a bonus.

 

[OutdoorDad]

This is going to sound cynical...because it is.

Find your satisfaction in doing what is right, not in thinking it will actually make a difference. Someday it may and that will be a bonus.

That is some good advice.

 

[LPMan59]

Can I have $100?

 

[Gabriel]

No good deed goes unpunished.

 

[starbreather]

To quote my father "if you don't want to see someone give/loan them $100." Good for you for at least trying to help!

 

[churchmouse]

Karma my friend. You put some positive on the big wheel of life.

 

[halfmileharry]

They're called "Relatives" I think. At least that's my experience when they keep coming back for more.

 

[smcgee]

Sadly enough my wife and I have this debate often. We give to charity each month St.Jude and Blinded Veterans Association or as often as possible that's great then we give help to family members in return they tell the rest of the family and they call and hint they too are in dire straights.
We both feel if we give with right intentions then what happens after is on the receiver. Sometimes I want to say when I get calls from charity that I am also a disabled veteran and I could use a little help lol ! Give what you can when you can and never have expectations of receiving anything back and you'll never be disappointed in people.

 

[Alamo]

I am pretty stingy with "loans." I would not say never do it, but I try to use my brain as well as my heart. There's a reason people get in a fix where they are hitting up their friends for loans, and the reasons matter. House got burned down with wallet in it, and need $100 to put the family in a local hotel overnight until can get to the bank in the morning? Ok. Maxed out six credit cards, have latest iPhone, designer jeans, and need $300 to keep from being evicted for back rent...mmm...giving them a "loan" is staving off the inevitable.

Don't loan more than you can afford to lose. Consider the real story. Tell them it is a loan, but mentally consider it a gift. If it never comes back, well you followed your conscience and learned something about that person. If they pay it back, it's a happy surprise, and you learned something about that person as well.

 

[Dirty Steve]

We had the same issue many years ago. Helped a kid out who played travel baseball with my oldest. Before long, we were taking him to all the games around the state. We'd go for an all day tournament somewhere and he'd get dropped off to ride with us with no food, nothing to drink and no money. It was "expected" that we would just cover all of his needs for the entire day. Could we afford it, yes. The point was that it was just expected that we would and never a single thanks you was given. Requests for money came later. Seems they always had money for smokes, new clothes and likely dope but none for the kid or rent. We put an end to it quickly. It does make you jaded.

Dirty Steve

 

[NHT3]

This is going to sound cynical...because it is.

Find your satisfaction in doing what is right, not in thinking it will actually make a difference. Someday it may and that will be a bonus.

Exactly, do it because it's the right thing to do. If it's really appreciated that's the icing on the cake. Unfortunately the old adage that "no good deed goes unpunished" applies much too often in today's world. God recognized your good intentions and that's what is really important.
Now my own adage " he who expects little is rarely disappointed"

 

[Gluemanz28]

Alamo said it well.

I consider all loans as a donation. I give it with the intentions of never getting it back. If they avoid me because they don't want to pay it back. It was money well spent.

I have a friend that buys $5 gift cards to McDonalds. If someone is on a corner asking for help she will give them a card if she is prompted by compassion (that inner voice) towards them. She said they can buy a lot of food on the dollar menu and water is free.

The best way to get over this Longbow, is to get back on the horse.
Help someone else and hopefully they will truly appreciate it.

 

[Spear Dane]

I got word a family needed 100 dollars to pay off the rent so I helped out. It delayed eviction so mom and dad could line up work

That was a week ago. I have been texted, called at strange hours and asked to drive them to go shopping. They want food and anything else they think I will provide.

I've changed my cell phone and thankfully my home number is unlisted.

Never again, done, don't ask and its over. I'm now truly jaded.

Please don't let this bad experience turn you off of helping sometimes. You are judging all people in need based on this one negative experience and there are just as many and probably far more that would merely thank you profusely and keep you in their prayers and nothing else. Besides if you stick to this decision you are only hurting yourself and denying your soul the warm fuzzy that comes with knowing you done good (and you didn't have to shoot anyone to do it!).