Break-in scare, GF now pissed

[Sgtusmc]

Couple nights ago, I was laying in bed probably around 1 am. Wasn't asleep or dreaming. GF asleep next to me. Suddenly I heard what sounded like someone 'testing' one of our doors before actually kicking it in.

My brain went into hyper reaction mode knowing I had to beat the intruder to the punch. I jumped out of bed, entered my code, and had my M&P down by my side, finger outside of the guard in case my kids came running down the stairs to my side.

By this time, my GF was still laying in bed and asking in a quivering voice if I was alright. I know it scared the crap out of her and after waiting and listening for any action to occur, I told her it sounded like someone was attempting to break in. I went back to bed, she went back to sleep saying I didn't hear anything.

I'm very glad that no one entered the home, and that I was prepared within seconds to defend my families lives. My GF on the other hand saw it as a dangerous act of paranoia.

Next day, I explained that I was awake and what I had heard and that I was fully aware of where the kids were and that I was sorry that she was scared by it all.

What can I do here to get her to stop hating guns and thinking I'm just a whacked out combat vet?

 

[thoroughbred]

Did you call the police or look to see if someone was outside?

 

[Double T]

Couple nights ago, I was laying in bed probably around 1 am. Wasn't asleep or dreaming. GF asleep next to me. Suddenly I heard what sounded like someone 'testing' one of our doors before actually kicking it in.

My brain went into hyper reaction mode knowing I had to beat the intruder to the punch. I jumped out of bed, entered my code, and had my M&P down by my side, finger outside of the guard in case my kids came running down the stairs to my side.

By this time, my GF was still laying in bed and asking in a quivering voice if I was alright. I know it scared the crap out of her and after waiting and listening for any action to occur, I told her it sounded like someone was attempting to break in. I went back to bed, she went back to sleep saying I didn't hear anything.

I'm very glad that no one entered the home, and that I was prepared within seconds to defend my families lives. My GF on the other hand saw it as a dangerous act of paranoia.

Next day, I explained that I was awake and what I had heard and that I was fully aware of where the kids were and that I was sorry that she was scared by it all.

What can I do here to get her to stop hating guns and thinking I'm just a whacked out combat vet?

Nothing. But you might be glad she's not your wife

 

[LEaSH]

You need some sort of proof that someone was attemptimg to get in.

Any marks or footprints on the door exterior?

Are there any other incidents that she accused you of being paranoid?

 

[Disposable Heart]

I've met a few former action guys before... They do "blow up" pretty quick and revert back into kill mode really easily. The triggers that are present overseas can be replicated here too easily and sometimes, inadvertently.

Your reaction wasn't out of line. You may want to sit down and explain why you did what you did to the GF, have her see it from your end. It's not an "act of dangerous paranoia" as people do break into other people's houses and what not. But also, you have kids, you have a family, your one of your primary roles is defend and protect.

 

[IndyDave1776]

It seems to me that you reacted promptly to a reasonable indicator that there may be a serious problem. GF needs to understand that 1., you did not overreact, and 2., you only have to underreact once to have the entire family dead--it doesn't get any more real than this.

The underlying problem most likely is that she is emotionally dependent upon believing that "This is my home. That can't happen here." It is a close relative of the political sheep emotionally dependent on believing "This is America. That can't happen here." In both cases, a false sense of security is being constructed on an emotional rather than rational premise. You, on the other hand, are basing your security on the rational premise that 1., there may be a threat, 2., you have the means to neutralize the threat, and 3., security comes from successfully neutralizing threats (rather than disbelieving in them).

Unfortunately, Dr. Dave's Instant Reality Pills are still in the developmental process and are not yet available for sale. Seriously, I don't have any good ideas on how to make a person accept objective reality if she is actively disinclined to do so.

 

[FCS-04]

Eject

 

[03A3]

If she thinks you're a whacked out gunslinger (dangerous) her opinion is going to cause you big trouble later if/when SHTF between you two i.e. legally/considered a dangerous person ect.
She's gonna be a problem if you let it happen.

 

[CitizenX]

What you have experienced is very common. We may think we are awake when we are not in fact totally awake. Lying in bed at night in the quiet dark is kind of like a sensory deprivation experiment. It puts your sense of hearing at the top of the list. The smallest of noises seem to be amplified. This can be can be especially alarming just before you slip into sleep or catch yourself slipping into sleep. This what I was told anyway and now that I understand what is happening, when it does happen, I have managed to rationalize when it occurs. ... on the other hand... it may have been someone testing your door . You can't force or convince someone to like guns. You may not even understand why your GF doesn't like them, but you don't have to. You just need to understand that she doesn't and be sensitive to it. After a while she may come around... but it should be on her terms. JMO... I'm glad everyone was and is ok. There is no doubt that you can take care of your family. I'm sure they know this.

 

[AM The Concrete Feat]

If she thinks you're a whacked out gunslinger (dangerous) her opinion is going to cause you big trouble later if/when SHTF between you two i.e. legally/considered a dangerous person ect.
She's gonna be a problem if you let it happen.

This is good advice that may save you a LOT of money.

 

[littletommy]

I'm gonna agree with a few others here, yeah, she may be more jumpy than you. I would much rather myself, or a family member overreact to a potentially dangerous situation than to have something bad happen. She should feel blessed to have someone looking out for her.

 

[13r14n]

- I wouldn't say you over reacted. I'm not a Vet and I had a similar situation this past weekend. My fiancé and I were watching tv and around midnight and we heard something that sounded like someone "testing" the screen on our kitchen window. I grabbed my Glock from its case and waited to hear anything else. After checking around the house and finding nothing, I put the pistol away. Earlier that same night, we where coming home from dinner and passed a bunch of squad cars and a crime scene. Apparently Lafayette police where searching for a couple suspected for stabbing a man then dumping a portable meth lab in a storm drain not far from my house. When it comes down to it, it's better to be safe than sorry. You where calm and reacted appropriately. It's not like you fired a random shot into the darkness.

 

[AM The Concrete Feat]

I'm curious as to how she is aware of your possession of a firearm in the home, and a handgun at that. Drawn and not fired is best case scenario here, and clears you of "paranoid overreaction" in my book.

 

[Movealongmovealong]

Let her read news stories about home invasions.

Just google:

"home invasion"

"intruder"

"burglary murder"

Any day of any week of any month/year will yield PLENTY of examples of why you should be cautious when it comes to a possible home invasion.

Also a good teaching tool is looking at the online crime maps available for many cities. VERY eye-opening experience for a lot of people who pay little attention to how much crime is actually taking place in areas they frequent.

 

[churchmouse]

My darling wife was close to this in her overview of the world when we first met. After a few real life dramas and owning several rentals she has her own gun.
Last night my son came in late. He is most generally very quite. My wife woke me to be aware of some unusual noises in the rear of the house. As I went out to investigate I found my son sitting at the picnic table with a friend enjoying the night air. False alarm but after his friend meeting me for the first time (holding a 1911 in my robe..) she now has a story to share. Scared her a bit.
Anyway, when I got back to the bedroom the wife was armed and waiting...I love her.

 

[Mango]

Next time, wake her up, hand her a stick, and tell her you heard a noise downstairs.

 

[Sgtusmc]

Thanks for the replies everyone. I was venting and don't want to air too much dirty laundry or my personal family relationship affairs. I've mentioned these facts in other threads for various reasons: We've been burglarized before, murders in front of our house and down the street, generally good area to keep things under watch.

We have two kids, been together roughly 17 yrs, have never ever raised our voices in a debate or discussion. She deals with schizophrenics every day as a doctor at a state facility. Therefore, she picks me apart psychologically. I don't want to give any further info. Regardless, I love my family and it breaks my heart to think that she thinks I would ever have ill intentions towards my family or any one else.

 

[LEaSH]

17 years is awesome. I'm sure talking it out would smooth it over.

 

[Mark 1911]

I don't think you over-reacted. If I heard the sound of a door being tried I would only hope that I would hear it in time to react to it as you did. When you know all is clear, then is the time for assessing if it was a real threat or not. You have kids in the house, your first thought was for their safety and your GF's safety.

For her to call you paranoid, after she's had to regain her composure and calm her quivering voice.. Doesn't sound exactly fair.

 

[GIJEW]

My former wife (no, we didn't split over guns) was kind of an 'anti-gun realist". She'd said that in a perfect world they wouldn't exist but since the criminals have them...anyway, when we first got married I was still a bit hyper-vigilant, and she's seen me roll and toss with nightmares and was concerned about me reacting with my head in Lebanon.
She said she never entirely got over those concerns but persistant professionalism/competence along with a story about NOT doing "friendly fire", got her to put her concerns in the context of "her issue".
About your GF, I'd go slow until you two sort this out.

Good luck