Assault Rifle Owners Have Tiny Penises!

[Valvestate]

I propose an INGO group buy for penis enlargers. Maybe the gov will sell us their used ones on a discount lot since the wussies went the enlargement route instead of the scary gun route.

 

[Polished515]

So what's that say about me? I have no penis at all....

 

[ArmedProgrammer]

Brilliantly stated! I am going to borrow that one!

Go Ahead... I borrowed it as well. No attribution where I saw it, so I couldn't give any props for it. But I liked it as well.

 

[CathyInBlue]

So what's that say about me? I have no penis at all....

He addressed us.

“Women who own assault weapons have tiny penises, just like their male counterparts,” Hartley writes. “That would explain why they’re angry enough to buy a weapon..."

Because no one's ever raped an angry woman. Their penises get in the way.

 

[Valvestate]

He addressed us.
Because no one's ever raped an angry woman. Their penises get in the way.

That guy just has a strip club toilet for a mouth. You should send him a picture of your tiny penis so he knows he's got competition

 

[Bang-bang]

My wife's not complaining......just sayin.....

My GF "really" likes it, err me.

 

[Indy60]

Well, if you can't beat em fair and square, hit em below the belt.

 

[Polished515]

He addressed us.
Because no one's ever raped an angry woman. Their penises get in the way.

..... well no one has ever complained about my penis.... but my anger is a different story. I guess I now have all the answers as to why I own so many guns. Penises and anger. I'll let the neighbors know.

 

[TheDude]

Someone apparently spends way too much time thinking about other men's penises...

Kinda what I was thinking, but whatever floats your boat I guess.

 

[digitalmonster]

mine is so little I want a tank

 

[2cool9031]

I'm sure the writer of the article would know...he probably checked them out.

 

[Jack Burton]

My reply...

todd, please allow me to express my deep admiration of the sexual appendage you are evidently able to deploy for self-defense in place of a gun. You must be very proud. I am certain every lady you know feels safer in your presence than with nearly any other man.

I admit that my own, personal peniis is pitifully inadequate for self-defense purposes.

It appears that you would prefer that women should be left defenseless, since they are anatomically unsuited for it. Plus, it makes them so much easier for you to subdue.

It’s also apparently a true belief of yours that the elderly and handicapped, regardless of size, do not deserve the right to self-defense, since their wang-fu will likely be inadequate for a variety of reasons. You obviously think that we don’t need such human rubbish, anyway.

I admit, I’ve always found it disturbing that the police and military, being unable to find recruits of your mighty dimensions, instead must brand them as the puny weaklings they are by issuing handguns and rifles.

Congratulations to you again, and I am sure we will hear more of your exploits as you defend your self, your family, your neighbors, and your nation with your wee-wee..

I implore you to post the resulting news pictures.

 

[DoggyDaddy]

What about 1911 owners?

Depends... full size or Commander?

 

[BehindBlueI's]

Sounds like a ploy to get you to send him photos of yourself nude while holding a rifle. Whatever you are in to, I guess, but surely there's already a porn site that addresses your needs...

 

[45fan]

If al of this is true, how then does the liberal media and politicians point to "assault" weapon owners as the source of so much but hurt? You would think it wouldnt be an issue at all with such small equipment....

 

[churchmouse]

Really......

 

[DoggyDaddy]

"In his column, subtitled “The longer the weapon, the shorter the tool,""

Uh oh... what's that say about us Mosin owners??

 

[ZX-14R]

E-P-I-C!

 

[hornadylnl]

I guess if you like legitimizing their argument.

We must make drugs illegal because meth labs pose a risk to neighboring houses. But my 100# of powder, 50,000 rounds of ammo, etc. pose no fire hazard.

Million rounds of ammo found at CA house - USATODAY.com

 

[CathyInBlue]

mine is so little I want a tank

Mine must be bigger `an yourn. I only wants me a .50BMG.

We must make drugs illegal because meth labs pose a risk to neighboring houses. But my 100# of powder, 50,000 rounds of ammo, etc. pose no fire hazard.

Million rounds of ammo found at CA house - USATODAY.com

If you've got a million rounds of ammo... Hell, if you've for 10,000 rounds of ammo stored in any single location within your home, you'd better have some form of fire suppression equipment installed in the same place.