A pocketful of condoms.
A midget, they are chick magnets
A pocketful of condoms.
A cab
My EDC other than the firearm.
Do you actually plan on getting smashed? If so, don't carry ANY weapon. The DA would have a field day if you INTENTIONALLY reduced your mental capacity and then used a weapon for most any reason.
Besides, any weapon you carry will be pretty ineffective if you are drunk ("Duuude, hold my beer while I club this guy").
At the very most, carry a non-lethal, like pepper spray. Try not to spray yourself in the face, and don't dare your drunk buddies to take a hit.